The Secret to Tantric Sex
Imagine: Your man strolls through your front door and announces, “Baby, forget Must-See TV. Tonight, I want to worship your body, massage you head to heel, make love to you on a higher spiritual plane, then provoke an out-of-this-world orgasm so you reach a whole new pleasure plateau.”
Probably, you’d think either you were dreaming or your guy had temporarily lost touch with reality. Well, in the case of tantric sex, you’d essentially be right on both counts. Tantra is the exotic art of prolonging your passion play to reach new levels of lusty satisfaction. “The idea is to build arousal very slowly so you both stay just below the boiling point for as long as possible,” explains Nitya Lacroix, author of The Art of Tantric Sex. “That way you really focus on the full sexual journey — getting turned on, stimulating each of your five senses for maximum passion, harmonizing your sexual rhythms.” The result is an out-of-body bond with your partner plus very physical ecstatic orgasms.
Inspired by the sexual success of these ancient love teachings (who wouldn’t be?), Cosmo came up with its own turbo-charged version of tantra. Here, our updated, totally modern four-step passion program (plus twists on classic tantric moves) to tempt, tease, then thoroughly please. Grab your guy and get ready for a trip toward erotic enlightenment.
When you enter this tantric love temple, you’ll both be primed for a down-and-dirty divine time. But hands off — before you start stroking, turn up the heat even more by tuning in to each other and getting your sexual energy in sync. Cosmo’s tantra trick: the sexual spoon. “Cuddle together in the traditional ’spoon’ position,” explains Kenneth Ray Stubbs, author of The Essential Tantra (JP Tarcher Putnam, 2000). “Curved together with arms around each other, pay attention to the rhythm of your partner’s breathing and gradually begin to inhale and exhale together. Be so attuned to each other’s body language that you become an extension of one another.”
Once you’re in sync physically, the next step is to bond spiritually. Yeah, we know, sounds a little loopy, but all it really means is giving each other your undivided attention so your focus doesn’t wander to other things — like how your thighs look or how good George Clooney looks — and you get the most out of each heavenly moment. Cosmo’s tantra trick: eye-rousal. Sit cross-legged across from each other and gaze into each other’s eyes for a full minute or two. “The first time I tried tantra with my boyfriend, we couldn’t stop giggling while trying to keep eye contact,” says Angela, 27.* “Once we got over the nervousness, we became sort of spellbound and totally lost track of time. By locking eyes, we reached a deep level of intimacy that was incredibly hot and made sex really intense.”
Christine, 29, titillates her guy by showering him with an erotic water trick. “We get in a warm bath and add a few drops of blue-tinted lavender oil,” she says. “With little candles around the tub illuminating the blue bath, it feels almost tropical. Using a large glass, I pour warm water over his back, neck, and chest over and over. Then we’ll switch and he’ll douse my shoulders and breasts in a constant stream of blue liquid. It’s so soothing and sensual.”
Traditional tantra dictates doing these turn-on tricks for exhausting hours-long marathon stretches. But frankly, there’s a point when you’re just too plum worn-out to be wowed anymore. So we suggest you spend a steamy half hour using our desire-mounting moves, and if you crave more body worship, then go for a longer heavenly haul. Your ultimate, erotic mission is to set every nerve on fire, so go ahead and be creative.
Cosmo’s Tantra Tricks
- The Thigh-High: Squeeze a few drops of scented oil in your hands and place them on your guy’s thigh just above his knee, says Stubbs. Gently knead as if you’re wringing out a towel as you make your way north, building the sexual tension. When you get to the groin area, work the muscles around his private parts, but don’t actually touch his penis.
- The Nail-Road: Slowly trace figure eights as you run your nails down his inner thigh, his calf and along the ticklish arch of his foot to in between his first and second toes. Then, using more pressure, stroke his ultrasensitive Achilles tendon.
- The Aural-Sex Rub: Gently massage his ear with your fingertips, working your way down the outer fold. Then run your pinkie along the crease where his ear connects to his head and ever-so-slowly prod the middle of his sexually susceptible inner ear with the tip of your tongue.
- The Turn-Up-the-Heat Treat: “Slip berries or pieces of mango back and forth between your mouths,” suggests Stubbs. “Or spill some champagne and let it bubble on each other’s bodies before licking it off. Involve every sense, including taste, in your seduction.”
Cosmo’s Tantra Tricks
- The Waterfall: Place your hand over his penis, fingertips resting lightly on his scrotum, and pour lubricant over the back of your hand so that it trickles between your fingers. Then place your hands on either side of his testicles and slowly, gently slide them up all the way to the tip of his penis. To let him cool down, ask your guy to do the same move on you, cupping his hand over your hot spot, letting the lube drip through his fingers, then spreading the oil up over your clitoris and pubic bone.
- The Serpent: Very gently, stretch the shaft of his penis with one hand by pulling away from his body, and make a circle with the thumb and index finger of your other hand just under the head of his penis. Rotate the circle clockwise until your thumb naturally lifts all the way off the head, repeating the motion as long as he can stand it.
- The Tantric Triangle Touch: With your legs open and bent, your guy inserts his index and middle fingers inside you until the tips are pressing upward just beyond your pubic bone in G-spot territory. He then makes a gentle “come here” movement with his fingers — caressing that sensitive oh-god area — while at the same time resting his other palm on your abdomen within reaching distance of your clitoris (with his fingers pointing up, his arms form a triangle). “I’ve never felt so aroused,” says Lily, 24, whose boyfriend used this passion-revving move on her. “The combination of G-spot stroking, pressure on my pubic area and clitoris caressing created a pleasure triple-whammy. It was a kind of bliss I’d only read about in books with Fabio on the cover.”
- The Tantra-X: Your guy sits cross-legged while you kneel over his lap, facing him. Place your calves under his knees so you don’t crush his legs. As he enters you, use your thigh muscles to lower yourself up and down as slowly as possible. Keep your bodies close and stay aware of each other’s breathing. At the same time, your hands are free to caress each other and your faces are level for eye contact — and deep kissing.
- The Sexual Seesaw: Lie on your back with your pelvis tilted just slightly on a small pillow. Your sexual soul mate lifts your feet up so that your legs are folded/curled in, your knees almost resting on your breasts, and your soles resting on his chest. Holding your feet as he moves inside of you, he gets to control thrusting while you get G-spot stimulation. “My husband and I tried this position after two hours of teasing buildup,” says Cathy, 30. “The deep penetration was incredible. I had an orgasm that was unlike anything I’d experienced before. The wildest part was it seemed to last forever — every time I thought the climax peaked, it got more intense.” Talk about enlightenment!
THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TANTRIC AND NORMAL SEXUAL EXPERIENCE
Tantric love-making is a matter of the heart and feelings. The two partners come to each other from the sacred heart space and meet each other on the level of their high being – that part of them that is their most beautiful, loving, compassionate, up-lifted selves. They honor, cherish and revere each other because they chose to focus on the best in each other, especially during their intimate times together. They bring sacredness to their sexual experiences with each other and yet at the same time free up that part of them that is wild, abandoned, primitive and spontaneous. In normal love-making, the novelty of new lovers keeps them very attentive and honoring with each other and thus the sex is hot. Over-time familiarity steps in and couples become less attentive and honoring with each other, and begin to take each other for granted. They do the same thing over and over again in the same location and, often at the same times, and are not fully attentive as they do it. As a result the sex becomes routine and they lose their desire for each other and become disappointed in their sexual partnership with each other.
Normal sex is a fast moving, continual escalating rise of energy from no excitement to a peak of excitement and orgasm The goal of intercourse is orgasm – an orgasm on the part of the man that comes far too soon for most women to have orgasm during intercourse. Tantric sex has no goal but to enjoy the moment. It is a slow, heart connected, experience with rises and falls of energy and plateaus and multiple peaks that goes on and on over extended time.
With Tantricas, there is a lot of eye contact and heart connection, a lot of playfulness and even silliness. There may be breaks for erotic dancing, snacks, a change of positions, such as from man on top to scissors position, or from sitting in yab yum to anal sex, from sensual massage and erotic sensual delights that pleasure the skin, taste, smell and ears of a blind folded receiver, and that might include sucking liqueur off a breast, or searching for a grape in a yoni (the Tantric term for vagina), to making love in a Tantra swing hung from the ceiling. There is no push for anyone’s orgasm and at no point does anyone want there to be more arousal than there is. The desire only is to totally enjoy whatever is happening and to be fully present to it to all the enjoyment it has to offer.
The bodies of Tantricas are relaxed and abandoned. There is no resistance to the sexual energy. They are fluid and undulating and shift positions often. Typically, lovers are fairly rigid; their body’s tense with the sexual energy and apart from the man moving in and out with powerful, and often numbing thrusting, there is little movement.
Tantricas use their breath, attention, the movement of their bodies, the contraction of their p.c. muscles, their sounds and their imagination or consciousness to move their sexual energy from their genitals into their body so that their whole body becomes alive and turned on with sexual energy. Some of that sexual energy may be taken out of the genitals in the case of the man, which means that he is a little less aroused genitally and in a better position to receive more arousal without ejaculating. In normal sex all attention remains on the genitals and building the energy there and so ejaculation happens much more quickly.
Tantricas know that where consciousness goes, energy flows. They use their concentrated attention to move their energy throughout their body, particularly sending it to their heart and third eye, which is their spiritual center. In this way, they can experience the unions of the sexual and spiritual energy and imbue their sexual energy with their love for their partner. This movement of their energy results in streams of vibrations and the experience of light moving through their body. They can similarly use their consciousness to direct this energy into their partner and to receive this energy from their partner in a variety of configurations. Through this means Tantricas create a great deal of their own turn-on instead of relying on their partner to turn them on. Ordinarily, the sexual energies and experiences of the non-Tantrica are more dependent upon each other, in that each is more reliant or the visual and kinesthetic behavior of their partner for their turn-on rather than on their own ability to access and run sexual and love energy. Their sexual energies are also more separate from their partner in that they are more focused on the arousing sensations in their own body or the fantasies in their secret mind, than on the movement of sexual energies between their bodies in a variety of configurations and on the experience of their merged energies becoming as one.
Tantricas slow down time and slow down the speed of their sexual experience by slow, deep belly breathing. Exhalations are often through the mouth with a sigh or a sound that gives voice to the sexual feeling that is being experienced. In normal sex, breathing is often fast and shallow. There may be panting or very little breathing at all.
Sound is a key to the sexual energy of the Tantrica. The Tantrica is very noisy throughout lovemaking; making moans and groans, sighs, gasps, etc. Non-Tantric lovemaking is much more silent, especially on the part of the male, with most sound coming at the moment of orgasm. All sound is energy. Sexual sound is sexual energy. When you make sexual sounds you fill your body with sexual energy. You fill the room with sexual energy, you partner hears and they get filled with sexual energy. The more your body is filled with sexual energy the more energy you have to send to your partner and the closer you are to full body orgasm. For a male Tantrica who knows ejaculation mastery, that means orgasm without ejaculation and the opportunity to keep on making love and having many more orgasms.
Normal sex is wonderful but it has trouble withstanding the test of time and every long, successful relationship puts it to the test of time. Tantric sex is more wonderful and becomes more wonderful over time. This is because Tantric couples share the deep truth of their existence with each other and acknowledge and honor each other, thereby becoming continuously more emotionally intimate. Emotional intimacy is the foundation of sexual intimacy in long-term relationships. When you add to this emotional intimacy and the sacred heart space that leads to it, the Tantrica’s skill in focusing their attention in their senses and out of their mind, in moving their sexual energy and merging it with their spiritual energy and with their partner’s energy, and in surrendering to each other from the place of their high being, you have Tantric sex.
Current Affairs | Comment (1)Soft Entry - Hard Withdrawal Tantric
Did you know you can still make love without an erection? The main thing for a man is to overcome the psychological belief that he is impotent if he does not have an erection. Men are conditioned to believe that the lingam has to be hard as steel and go all night. If it isn’t they can become very embarrassed. Most men will not even attempt to make love once they are soft.
However the soft lingam can be used in wondrous ways to
excite your woman.
The secret is to lie in the scissors position because it is the
easiest way to stay in a woman whether you are erect or
soft. Your lover can take the soft penis and stroke around her
clitoris and often you will start to get an erection once you
see her getting excited. Or when she is moist she can put
your soft penis inside her. If you are in there long enough,
you may get an erection. If you don’t, just lie in the scissors
position. The main thing is to stay relaxed. You can have a
pleasurable experience just being inside; you do not need to
have an erection.
If your woman knows her secrets she will tell you that sometimes
she likes it when your lingam is soft. My experience is that you may
enter soft, but you nearly always come out hard. Now you know the
secret of soft entry - hard withdrawal - there is no barrier to your
making love at any time. Include soft entry in your range of lovemaking techniques.
The Tantric goddess - Treating Him
(This next tip is taken from Diane Riley’s book)
A woman who is comfortable with her Erotic Goddess of love is able to delight in the sexual pleasure she can initiate for her lover. She knows that sometimes, her lover really appreciates being seduced and feeling the one “desired”. She knows it’s important they both take this role at different times. That is part of the dance of love that helps to keep love and passion alive.
Erotic full body massage
A wonderful part of being an Erotic Goddess is being able to give your partner more pleasure than he has ever experienced before.
The first thing you need to do is to set the scene; room, music, lighting, temperature, refreshments. This time is for his pleasure, let him relax, he doesn’t have to do anything except receive your attention and your love.
For many men, this is a dream come true! So for a man to hear that all he needs to do is to enjoy his woman’s loving attention, it’s great.
He may have had a massage before, but not like the one you are about to give him. Masseurs avoid our most pleasurable parts. This time, the focus is on the whole of the body and that means his wand of light will definitely not be left out. Your partner is going to love this. It will help shift the focus of his sexual experience from purely genital to an overall feeling of bliss on many levels. Not
only will it be good for your partner, you will also thoroughly enjoy giving it. It will open you up to new experiences because it will give you a sense of power.
You will be orchestrating his pleasure and initiating him into new areas of sexuality.
In this practice, you will experience being an Aphrodite Temple Priestess and take him to Paradise. As one of Aphrodite’s, you view heightened pleasure as a gift to the Divine, to the goddess. You know pleasure is derived not purely from just receiving as is the case for mere mortals with their attitude of “what’s in this
for me?” True pleasure also comes from giving in service of the Goddess.
First, set the temple scene for the massage; whatever scene you set in your bedroom depends on what gives you a feeling of being the initiatress. Wear clothing that imparts this feeling. For some women, this can mean lacy underwear, for others it could be transparent scarves and beads, for others still,maybe black leather.
Have massage oils prepared, towel, water, and a massage table if you have one. Check to see you have everything on hand you need so that you don’t have to keep getting up to find something.
Once you’ve set the scene, prepare your partner. Perhaps scrub his back in the bath and towel him down. You could offer him his favourite food or drink and provide some entertainment, music or even a seductive dance as a gift from Aphrodite.
Have him first lie down on his stomach and first give him a back massage.
Many of us carry a lot of accumulated tension and stress in the shoulders and back and across the hips. Firm pressure and pummelling with a loose fist is often just what he needs to relax. Ask him to turn over and massage him all over including hands, feet, legs, arms, head, neck, and chest. If you have never
given a massage before, you could book yourself in for a therapeutic massage so you get some ideas on what to try, or join a basic massage class.
Otherwise,simply sweep your hands all over his body, apply firm pressure to tense areas using the flat of your hand with circular motion and kiss any sensitive areas including ankles, knees, inside of thighs, neck, ears, and nipples and so on.
Continue this way for around ten to fifteen minutes until you arrive at that glorious destination, his wand of light. (His genitals)
Lie him on his back, legs spread apart, as you sit between his legs.
Know you may massage and play with his love wand.
Renaming your genitalia
Renaming your genitals can be a healing process, especially for women as it creates a positive image with this part of your body. Plus it can also be fun at the same time.
Tantra has taken from the Hindu language.
Vagina = Yoni: Yoni means a “field of heaven” or “scared place”.
Penis = Lingum: Lingum means “Wand of light”.
You can make up your own words. Here are a few examples.
For women: Lotus flower, pleasure place, hidden valley, rosetta, flower, honey pot.
For men: Longum, healing wand, magic light.
Current Affairs | Comment (1)What is Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex has many names in today ’s culture: spiritual sex, sacred sexuality, spiritual union, and others. However, a common denominator in all these names is that they all relate to some level of spirituality.
Tantric sex is indeed related to your spiritual well-being because even though you are engaging in the sexual act, the purpose is not really to reach orgasm but to unite with your lover in ALL possible aspects. To put it simply, tantra lovemaking is not about intercourse per se, it ’s about uniting or fusing together your bodies, and in the process connect with your partner in mind, body and spirit.
Tantric Sex History
Tantric sex has its roots in India some 4,000 years ago, where it was viewed as - what else - a spiritual tradition. It started to be known in the West in the early 1800s but it never really had a tremendously huge following.
However, in the late 1960s, a rebirth of the practice was reaching new heights in India and this led to its consequent re-emergence in Western culture. Today, tantric sex awakening is reaching an all-time high because you now also have such high profile couples advocating the benefits of tantric sex. For instance, when Sting mentioned on Oprah that he and his wife Trudie engage in tantric sex, which enable them to experience ‘five or six or seven hours of lovemaking’, the whole world wanted to find out what tantric sex is all about!
As mentioned, tantric sex is not just about ’s ex’, it involves many things: tantric breathing, tantric sexual massage, creating a scared tantric place, meditation, prolonging sexual intercourse, and even tantric after play. All of these have a special purpose in tantric lovemaking.
Tantric Sex vs. ‘Normal’ Sex
The main difference between tantric sex and lovemaking as we commonly view it today is this: reaching an orgasm. With regular sex, you have a goal - to reach your climax and that ’s it. However, since men and women have different needs, more often than not, one of them (mostly women) do NOT reach their sexual goal (climaxing) and so there is a lot of pent up sexual frustration in today ’s relationships. It is thus no wonder that a lot of relationships have underlying stresses.
Consider these common scenarios.
- He reaches his orgasm but she never does, resulting in sexual frustration for her.
- He ’s a very caring guy and wants her to experience sexual pleasure but it takes her a long time to ‘come’ and so it ’s building up performance anxiety and sexual frustration for him.
In contrast, Tantric sex is not about reaching an orgasm. It ’s about union. The main purpose is to connect with your lover in all aspects: heart, mind, body and soul. Does this mean you don’t reach an orgasm with Tantric lovemaking? Of course not!
On the contrary, Tantric sex practitioners swear that they have never had more body-rocking and mind-blowing orgasms before they tuned into to Tantra sex. So don’t worry; you’re in for A LOT of sexual pleasure with this form of spirituality.
Getting Started with Tantric Sex
The best way to get started with Tantric sex is to start slowly. Begin by viewing your sex partner in a different light. Try to see her as a goddess, a sexual playmate that you hold in the highest regard, and that making love to her is not just about physical pleasure in your groin area but about ecstasy in all aspects of your being.
Try this exercise: get a piece of paper and list down all the beautiful qualities or everything you like about your woman. Some men like to list down everything, even ‘great cook!’ or ‘best woman driver I know’ because, according to them, it helps them appreciate her more. Others, however, prefer to just list down sexually-related aspects such as ‘I love how her hair sways when she ’s on top of me’, or ’s he has the best looking ass I know’. Write down whatever aspect you feel like listing that will make you see her in a whole new light. Whatever works for you!
After creating your list, look over it and then close your eyes and revel in each of these qualities. Now, picture making love to her. Don’t you see her now more than just someone to reach an orgasm with?
Lastly, people who engage in Tantric sex love it because ‘things just keep on getting better’. Tantric lovemaking believes in this doctrine: practice, practice, practice! Yet at the same time, Tantric sex provides immediate improvements in your sex and spiritual life. So go try it. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.
Current Affairs | Comment (0)How to Introduce Tantric Sex to Your Lover
A lot of people are skeptical about tantric sex simply because they don’t know enough about it. Because it ’s not the ‘norm’, they tend to shy away or even ridicule it. Is your lover one of these people?
If your partner is not so hot about engaging in Tantric sex with you, don’t give up on the topic just yet! More often than not, you just have not explained the topic to her fully and, more importantly, have not emphasized just how much better lovemaking will be between the two of you. So following are some tips on how you can persuade her to get into ’s acred sex’ or ’s piritual sex’ with you.
How to Get Your Partner Excited about Engaging in Tantric Sex
Step 1: Just touch on the topic.
Don’t just jump on the topic of Tantric sex, you’ll probably scare her off that way, or make her think you’ve gone a bit loony, or you’re simply trying to trick her into doing a sex act she won’t like.
Start the conversation by discussing how you want her to enjoy sex more. Start on this because this is something she can easily relate to at the moment. Tell her that in addition to her experiencing more and better physical pleasure, you will also reach a stage in your relationship where your connection will be at a deeper emotional level. Women LOVE this (and you’re not lying when you say it either!) and will definitely be more open to what you have to say next!
Step 2: Start the education process.
Talk about Tanric sex’ goals first and not its ways or methods. Tell her that the practice of sacred sexuality is not just about getting an orgasm but about connecting heart, mind, body and spirit. Doesn’t she want a deeper connection with you?
Inform her too that Tantric sex is not about ‘kinky sex acts’. Tell her that it involves a lot of meditation, use of scented candles and oils, massage, relaxing breathing techniques, and a lot of emotional, mental and physical indulgence.
Step 3: Tell her it ’s not even THAT big a mystery.
Let her know that rock star Sting and his wife engages in Tantric sex all the time. The actor Woody Harrelson does so too. Mentioning these famous names doesn’t mean that she should get into Tantric lovemaking because it ’s ‘in’, but because it ’s not a big mystery anymore as far as other couples are concerned.
Tell her too that Tantra sex touches on yoga. In fact, yoga IS a form of Tantric sex because it focuses on aligning the body with the rest of the universe. If she knows about the principles of yoga, then tell her getting into Tantric sex is not that big a leap anymore!
Step 4: Reassure her that your interest in Tantric sex is NOT because there ’s something ‘wrong’ in your relationship now.
A lot of people - men and women alike - don’t want to engage in Tantric sex because of the ‘why fix something that ’s not broken’ mentality. If you talk to them about getting into sacred sexuality, they think you mean there ’s something ‘wrong’ with what you both have currently.
Another reason is that they feel that you’re ‘moving on’ and they’re afraid they can’t move on or keep up with you. The result? The relationship is being harmed rather than being helped. Knowing these fears will help you prepare a good argument.
Reassure them that you like or love what you have NOW but consider the joys if it could be better! You guys can always stop at anytime but to not have tried at all…? You guys can be missing out on a lot!
Step 5: Suggest a good way to start practicing Tantric sex.
A great way to end the discussion is to suggest (not push!) moving forward into trying Tantric sex. Proceed with mentioning that you came upon an article / e-book / book / website / CD / DVD that talks about Tantric sex and it seems to be the fun answer to what you guys want to achieve. Does she want to take a look at these resources too? Make her part of the decision process and she’ll be more inclined to try Tantric sex with you.
You can also suggest that you guys try the ways or methods on her first and see if they are indeed giving her more physical pleasure. The prospect of her sexually benefiting first is also a good way to convince her to try it.
Good luck!
Current Affairs | Comment (0)How to Create a Sacred Tantric Sex Space in Your Home
Tantric sex believes in honoring everything related to your union. It means honoring and respecting each other ’s beings, your bodies, what you can do to and for each other, and others. It thus makes perfect sense that one of the first Tantric sex things you should do is to create a sacred place where you can engage in Tantric sex.
Do This Tonight: A Tantric Sex Sacred Place
First of all, a Tantric sex place should be a fixed location in your home. It shouldn’t be a place you just set up tonight and then tear down or remove after making love. No, you need to invest in this space.
However, having said that, your own Tantric sex space need not take up a whole room! It can be just a corner of your bedroom or you can convert a small portion of your attic. Some couples use a portion of their living room but if you can avoid it, please do.
This is because, in most cases, one ’s living room is too associated with everyday activities that it ’s almost impossible to view the Tanric sacred space you have there as a place of peace, love and spirituality. If you don’t have any other space, then you can make the Tantric sex area face away from the living room or simply use plenty of nice fabrics to use as covering.
Secondly, in creating your sacred space, it ’s important that it ’s clean, comfortable and very relaxing. So the first thing you do once you choose the exact are is to clean it.
Sweep and vacuum the whole area before anything else. When you’re done, take away every piece of clutter surrounding it. You can then place a nice rug or carpet on the floor area. Make sure it ’s big enough for lying down and adorn this area with lots of pillows of every size.
Make sure that your Tantric sex space has access to proper lighting. Do away with bright bulbs though and go for romantic shades that you can dim. Having space for a lot of lighted candles is also great! In Tantric sex, incense is used a lot so a space where you can light them us useful.
It would be great if you can set up some poles or make a tepee-like structure from which you can hang colorful or neutral-colored fabrics. Be sure you use colors that personally make you relax and don’t go by any pictures or samples you see. Do whatever works for you.
After adorning the place with fabric, and if you have space for it, bring in a pot of plant or two, or make sure there ’s a place where you can set a vase filled with a fresh bouquet of flowers. You can also just opt to place two potted plants at each side of the ‘entrance’ of your sacred sex space.
Inside, lavish attention on the place where you and/or your sex partner can lay down (i.e., the lover ’s bed). Use the best linen and stock up on small blankets or towels (assuming space is available).
Ensure that a music system is within distance. At least, make sure the remote control for your sound system is at hand when you enter your Tantric sex place. Since Tantra sex can last for hours, you need a good supply of romantic and soothing CDs!
Some couples like to bring in special keepsakes inside their scared sex space like a wedding photo or their first picture together. Others don’t like any clutter whatsoever and see the Tantric sex tent as a place where they can ‘leave behind’ the world. Again, do whatever works for you and your lover.
While inside the Tantric sex space, you can bring in with you a bottle of wine or simple food items like fruit or cut up cheese and some crackers.
Once you’ve created your sacred space, take the time to ‘bless it’. Don’t worry; you don’t need to engage in some elaborate ritual. Simply make a conscious effort to ward away any negative vibes and invite positive ones.
You can do this alone or with your partner. Face the sacred sexuality space or go inside it. Sit down close your eyes. Make a fervent wish that goes like this…
‘This is the space I devote to sacred loving and sexuality. This is where I’ll be making wonderful, passionate love to my partner and nothing, nothing, can harm us or prevent us from honoring each other in this scared space.
Current Affairs | Comments (5)What is Tantric Touching?
Tantric lovemaking is not about learning new sex positions (although you will learn that too!). It ’s about connecting with your lover in heart, mind, body and spirit. And to achieve this, one of the tenets of Tantric sex is tantric touching.
Tantric touching is to touch or physically connect with your lover in a deeper more spiritual way. With today ’s hectic lifestyles, it ’s amazing how many couples don’t even take the time to connect with each other via a simple loving touch.
Well, you won’t be one of those couples! Deepen sexual intimacy with her with these Tantric touch tips.
Tantric Touching 101
One: Make time for Tantric touching.
You can schedule a meeting. She can schedule a beauty parlor appointment. Surely, you can schedule something for the two of you! Get your calendars out and block an hour this Friday or the weekend. These dates are best as there ’s something about the weekend that makes your minds and bodies relax.
Two: Prepare yourselves properly.
Simply plopping down on pillows cross-legged, facing each other and touching won’t do! It ’s like forcing or expecting the effects of Tantric touching to just magically occur. No, you guys need to prime yourselves a bit. Here are some ‘primer’ tips.
- Sit down and have a nice cup of herbal tea together first.
- Take a walk hand-in-hand.
- Take a shower or bath together.
The point is to condition your minds to relax in each other ’s presence.
Three: Prepare the Tanric touch area.
A relaxing touching session will not occur if you’re in a place of chaos. As such, take some time to prepare the area where you guys will have your touching session. You can dio this together or you can do it alone while she ’s showering or taking a bath.
To prepare the area, here are some tips: place a nice soft rug on the floor and put a lot of pillows over it so your bodies are nicely cushioned. Then play some soft music and light some scented candles or burn some scented oils. Don’t make the smell overpowering. In most cases, a ‘whiff’ of something is better than a full-on scented assault. If you have them, scattered rose petals are great too!
Four: Free her inhibitions.
When she ’s ready to join you, ask her to lie down on her back and close her eyes. It ’s best if she ’s wearing lingerie or a nightgown. If she ’s uncomfortable or feeling vulnerable, ask her to close her eyes or if she wants to be blindfolded. A lot of people realize that they act freer and are more responsive when blindfolded.
Five: Drink in her whole presence.
Before touching her, take a step back and admire your woman. Start with the tips of her toes and work your eyes up her whole body till you reach the very of her head. Don’t look her up and down with the goal of critiquing or even trying to find her ‘best parts’. Simply preview her as you with a really exquisite painting by a master.
Six: Speak your desire.
Still not touching her, start to state how you love certain parts of her body. Don’t hold back and let out all your positive comments and even lustful ones. This will make her feel loved, cherished and yes, a bit horny too!
Seven: Start touching her.
Start physical contact with her body. It doesn’t really matter where you touch first but it ’s best to start with ’s mall touches’. For example, touch her toes first with just your fingertips instead of using your hands and grabbing her ass right away. However small the touch, make it firm. Your goal is not to tickle her after all! Give this part some time before you move on to firmer, bigger touches.
Nine: Pay attention to her reactions.
Take notice of how she ’s reacting to your sexual touches. Is she relaxed? Too relaxed? Or is she too tensed?
If she ’s too relaxed, then your touch needs to be a bit firmer (maybe even a bit more naughty!). If she ’s all tensed up, then you may be pushing her to an early sexual release. Ease up a bit so she ’s not pushed over the edge… yet.
Here are ways to help you detect how your touch is making her feel.
- Is she making noises? What type of noises?
- How are her facial features? For instance, are her brows relaxed or tensed?
- How ’s her skin? Are they a bit flushed or cool with goose bumps on them? (Maybe you need to light more candles, lather some warm oil or increase the room ’s temperature.)
Pay attention to how she ’s reacting to your Tantric touch and react accordingly. Remember, the goal is to relax her mind, body and spirit and use this as a primer for making love so it would do well if the Tantric touching session is a success.
Current Affairs | Comment (0)Tantric Breathing - Breathe Your Way to Better Sex Performance
Everyday you hear or read that you’re not breathing properly. Your breathing is too shallow. This is why you often feel that your energy is being zapped from your body. If you’re not taking in enough energy, how can you be expected to exert it?
When it comes to Tantric lovemaking, proper breathing is very important. It helps you last longer and perform better. That got your interest didn’t it? Well read on then and find out how you can master the art of Tantric breathing.
Hot Tantric Breathing Tips!
Step 1: Focus, focus, focus.
When you’re having sex, you’re obviously focused on one thing: reaching an orgasm. However, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. By concentrating on the destination, you fail to enjoy the journey. Actually, you shouldn’t feel bad about this. Modern media and society has brainwashed us to focus on ‘achieving goals’, ‘instant gratification’, and ‘the sooner the better’.
Tantric sex teachings do not focus on the end result. It simply focuses on the NOW so while making love, focus on your breathing. Be mindful of each inhale and exhale.
Hot breathing tip: With each inhale, imagine the sexual energy you are drinking from her; with each exhale, imagine the sexual energy you’re emitting to her.
Step 2: Go slow.
The faster you breather, the quicker you reach orgasm. It ’s like subconsciously and physically pushing yourself to reach release. But what about your partner? Enough studies show that it takes women far longer to reach their orgasms. What are you going to do then after you reach yours?
Tantric breathing is all about long, deep, and slow breaths. Keep the breathing slow and you’ll enjoy sex for hours at a time.
Step 3: Exchange ‘energies’ with your partner.
We are programmed to be competitive to the point that we all want to reach the finish line first. Consider this all too common scenario: two treadmills are side by side at the gym and two guys go on each one of them. One guy starts to run fast and before you know it, the other guy tends to do the same time. An even though these men don’t know each other, it seems that it ’s just not ‘macho’ if you let the other guy outrun you!
Well the same is true during sex, albeit subconsciously. If you’re both inhaling and exhaling at the same time, you guys are subconsciously trying to goad each other to reach your destinations (orgasms) faster. So what do you do? Practice exchanging sexual energy.
To do this, breathe in as your partner breathes out, and vice versa. Try to keep close to each other as you do this, letting your breaths intermingle. This does not only provide an aura of ’s upport’ (rather than competition), but also makes for a deeper connection while performing the sexual act.
Step 4: Use your breath to stop climaxing.
You may be thinking why you would want to delay an orgasm. As mentioned above, one reason would be to enable your female partner to ‘catch up with you’ when it comes to climaxing. Other reasons and less thought of ones, are these: (1) if you delay cumming now, imagine how much more powerfully your climax will be later, and (2) if you cum now, then that ’s it; love making is over. Why don’t you want to prolong all these wonderful feelings -physical and emotional - you are experiencing now with your lover?
So the next time, you feel the stirrings of an orgasm, rest your movements a little bit and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths to calm your body while not exactly bringing it down to ‘zero pleasure’.
Tantric breathing exercise to delay an oncoming orgasm:
As your excitement reaches almost the unbearable level, breathe heavily and deeply through your mouth. Push or puff air out of your mouth while at the same time contracting your stomach muscles. This Tantric breathing technique modifies the blood energy in your body and will prevent ejaculation because it lessens the blood supply to your penis.
Step 5: Breathe together to ‘cum’ together.
After hours of tantric lovemaking, you may indeed find yourselves reaching an orgasm and this time, you don’t want to stop it. For a more intense climax, however, do goad yourselves physically and subconsciously by breathing together, inhaling and exhaling at exactly the same time.
Start practicing the above Tantric breathing techniques and you’ll soon find that making love is better because you guys can last longer in bed.
Current Affairs | Comment (0)Tantric Touching Tips To Make Her Burn With Desire
Tantric touching is a great part of Tantric sex. It forms as a great primer to hours upon hours of lovemaking. Since it ’s such an important element, you need to make time for it. You cannot just ask your woman to lie down and be touched! You need to set a time and place for tantric touching.
Sexual Tantric touching is a great ‘bonding time’ activity with your partner. Engage in it and you’ll benefit from more than just physical pleasure.
Tantric Touching Tips
Here are some tips that will surely heighten the level of sexual touching for you and your woman.
Touching is not only done with the hands.
Sure, you can start the session with light touches like touching her toes and/or closed eyelids with just your fingertips but don’t be limited with just using your hands. You can use your wrists, your arms, your legs or even your whole upper body!
Tantric touching examples:
- Dab a little scented oil on the insides of your wrists and rub your wrists together. Now glide your wrists on either side of her face, from her forehead to her chin and back again. Apply little pressure, the scent of the oil and the silky touch of your wrists should relax her mind.
- Ask her or position her arms above her head. Using the length of your arms, run them along the side of her body. If you’re a bit hairy, all the better; the different texture will feel good on her smooth body.
- Ask her to lie face down. Put some scented oil or massage oil on your upper body and glide against her bare back. Be careful not to put all your weight on her!
Touching can be as soft, light, or rough as you guys want it to be.
Touching can mean many things. It can mean feathery like running a single fingertip from her collarbones to her belly or a bit harder like using your nails and (mildly!) scratching her arms.
Tantric touching examples:
- Use your fingers and TAP on her forearms.
- Use your whole hands and RUB her back (or front if your naughty).
- Use your nails and lightly scratch her bare buttocks.
Tantric touching should make use of different intensities.
Try to alternate between light and hard strokes or touches. However, make the transitions slow. Don’t just rub her back and then immediately run a fingertip on over her spine. You want her to relax, not tense up!
Tantric touching should be done when you BOTH feel up to it.
One very important tip is this: don’t force tantric touching to happen. Tantric sex is all about giving and receiving so if either one of you (or worse, both) are too tired to engage in tantric touching, then simply re-schedule! No pressures remember?
Tantric touching tenet: there are no ‘orgasmic’ goals.
Keep in mind that tantric touching does not have to necessarily culminate in reaching an orgasm. Again, it ’s bonding time so if you guys reach an orgasm, great! If not, that ’s great too. Focus your mind on what you’re doing NOW - touching and exploring each other ’s bodies - and not on any later sexual goals.
Don’t be ashamed to use props.
Tantric touching can incorporate so many things! It can include different types of fabric (e.g., satin, silk, cotton, velvet, etc.), different pillow sizes, and even some select food items.
Don’t be ashamed to let your imaginations run wild.
Role playing has its place in Tantric touching. If it helps you both, you can crate your own scenes and situations. Just don’t forget to imagine the flow of energy between the two of you two. For example, as you run your hand against her thighs, imagine the warm, tingly energy flowing from your body into her thighs (or vice versa).
It ’s ok to take breaks… but try not to break contact.
Sometimes, breaks are necessary during Tantric touching. For instance, she might have reached an orgasm and touching her erotically further may not be a good idea. In this case, simply change the pressure, rhythm and location of your touch and give her a few minutes to ‘come down to earth’. However, is possible, don’t break skin contact. Continue to touch her with your fingertips or ensure your knee is in contact with her leg, etc.
Also since Tantric touching can last for hours, it ’s not a bad idea to have a decanter of wine or pitcher of water, and some food items (e.g., fruit, cheese, etc.) nearby.
Current Affairs | Comment (0)Tantric Sex Techniques to Make You Last Longer in Bed
According to studies, around 75% of women do not reach an orgasm during intercourse. Why? For one, it ’s because he or she does not know how to properly sexually stimulate her so she never really reaches sexual tension enough to come. Another reason is this: he comes too fast.
Frankly, clinical premature ejaculation is not the issue here. Women simply take longer than men to climax. Period. So how do we bridge this gap? Well, why not engage in exercises that will help you last longer in bed? This way, you’re giving her all the time she needs to get all revved up for a glorious climax.
Tantric Sex Tips n’ Tricks for Lasting Lovemaking
Exercise One: Pressing the Prostate Point (PPP)
Okay, here ’s a bit of a male anatomy lesson. Between your testicles and anus is something called the perineum. There ’s a soft spot there through which you can apply pressure to your prostate. Now for most men, prostate stimulation reduces the likelihood of cumming involuntarily. This is because it washes out from the prostate gland the fluid that is necessary for ejaculation.
If you push hard enough on your prostate point right before cumming, it actually blocks the emission phase (or ejaculation phase). This exercise prevents seminal fluid from entering the urethral canal when your orgasmic spasms start. Even if you have orgasmic contractions, the semen remains inside your body and is re-absorbed. This is also known as having a Dry Orgasm and no, nit ’s not painful!
- Pleasure yourself till you begin to feel the tension that tells you you’re on your way to coming.
- Stop all motion, locate your prostate point, and press upward firmly for 10 to 30 seconds. You should feel the sexual tension you were just feeing begin to ebb away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 1.
- Stop all motion, locate your prostate point, and press upward firmly for 10 to 30 seconds. You should feel the sexual tension you were just feeing begin to ebb away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 3.
- Locate your prostate point, and press upward firmly for 10 to 30 seconds. However, this time, try to continue stroking yourself as you do this.
- Continue doing this exercise till you master reaching higher sexual peaks and bringing yourself down again.
Exercise Two: Root Lock
Inside your body, at the base of your penis is the muscle called pubococcygeus. People fondly call it PC for short. This exercise teaches you to use your PC muscles to delay ejaculation.
To perform a Root Lock, hold your breath momentarily and push your pelvic muscles out like straining to empty your bowels. Some claim they prefer pushing ‘in’ rather than out but that ’s all up to you really.
- Pleasure yourself till you begin to feel the tension that tells you you’re on your way to coming.
- Exhale all your breath and hold it, keep your eyes wide open looking upward, push your tongue on the roof of your mouth, tighten your fingers, hands, and feet, and push out on your asshole until your arousal ebbs away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 1.
- Exhale all your breath and hold it, keep your eyes wide open looking upward, push your tongue on the roof of your mouth, tighten your fingers, hands, and feet, and push out on your asshole until your arousal ebbs away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 3.
- Exhale all your breath and hold it, keep your eyes wide open looking upward, push your tongue on the roof of your mouth, tighten your fingers, hands, and feet, and push out on your asshole until your arousal ebbs away. But this time, contract your anal muscles inward and upward while pulling your stomach toward your spine. Which works better for you, in or out?
- Continue doing this exercise till you master reaching higher sexual peaks and bringing yourself down again.
By now, you should be realizing that tension in whatever way, shape of form, is your ‘enemy’. So each time you make love to her, and you feel that you’re reaching a sexual peak that can easily lead you to orgasm, delay your cumming and wait for her will you?
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