The Tantric Experience

FOR RELATIONSHIP, SPIRITUAL AND
SEXUAL ENHANCEMENT

Tantric Coaching is available both to those who wish to learn Tantra without staying at our San Diego Bed & Breakfast and to those who wish to be our guests there. Either way, almost all that is written below will be relevant to you.

A Unique Opportunity! The Option of
Private Tantric Coaching at Your San Diego Tantric Bed & Breakfast

Some of you may wish to be left to your own devices to explore the pleasure possible with the resources that we have supplied you with. Others may prefer to have some time with us, and through doing so to learn to operate at new level in the arena of your emotional intimacy and sexual passion. There are two ways you can do this. The first is through our Tantric Romantic Date Night offerings. The second is to receive coaching in Tantra and the art of Sacred Sexuality. Our Tantric sessions would be approximately three hours – and you can do more than one or can do a longer session (4 or 5 hours). We would time these sessions so as to ensure that you had plenty of time to spend alone. A choice of morning, afternoon or evening sessions are provided.

Whether you are in a long term relationship, and want to re-romance your relationship, or are in the honeymoon stage of your relationship (or have a honeymoon in mind), we will provide a perfect environment for love-making and romance. If you wish, you may also get expert private Tantric coaching on how to bring romance into your relationship or on the Tantric consciousness and sexual skills that better enable you to experience that “in love” feeling and juicy sexual passion.

A TANTRA SESSION IN THE ARTS OF SACRED SEXUALITY

There are a number of ways in which we can enhance your stay while providing you with new skills and the consciousness to up-level the emotional intimacy and sexual excitement and fulfillment in your relationship. Here are four.

Whether you feel confident and satisfied with your love life or are disappointed that the sexual area of your relationship has not realized more of its potential, we can help you to improve the emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship, and to learn Tantra, the art of sacred sexuality.

If you are a couple considering or seeking Tantric coaching, the coaching you will receive will vary according to the reason you are seeking it.

FOUR REASONS COUPLES SEEK TANTRIC COACHING:

1. To inspire freshness and newness in an old love.
Committed couples who don’t feel as hot for each other as they once did and who want to bring a new level of passion, emotional connection and sexual fire to their love-making, do well to explore finding it through Tantra. Tantra moves out of the arena of the personality and into the arena of the soul connection – where you originally met and fell in love. Through Tantra, you can learn to take a vacation from the personality issues that trigger and separate you and to greet and honor the high being that is still there, despite the ups and downs of life. If you wish we can also help guide you in identifying your core issues and resolving them. Or we can simply help you build up a rich heritage of sacred love experiences that will enable you to know who each other is on the spiritual level in the tough and painful times of conflict. We can teach you to bring new interest and variety into your sexual relationship by teaching you how to access and bridge the sacred and the erotic in your relationship and through incorporating new sexual skills such as those we describe below.

2. You want to take a sexually satisfying and emotionally gratifying relationship to new heights by becoming Tantric. You are turned on sexually and want to take your connection to the highest sexual and spiritual level. You want such things as extended love making through ejaculation mastery, more orgasmic responsiveness, & slow, sensual play with multiple plateaus and orgasmic peaks. You want to learn from us but want to focus on yourselves.

3. You want to socialize and interact with us as a way of learning Tantra.
As in above, you want to take a sexually satisfying and emotionally gratifying relationship to new heights by becoming Tantric. However, you not only want to learn from us, you want to have the experience of socializing and interacting with us.

4. You are seeking a magical, sensual, erotic, one of a kind, experience to juice up your life together. You like to bring new and wonderful, or fascinating and risqué, experiences into your relationship and sex life and want us to provide you such an experience. The focus of this session would be on your pleasure rather than your learning, although both would take place.  We will give you a menu of possible experiences and design a program to bring you the maximum delight. Or, if you would like, we will surprise you.

FIVE WAYS WE CAN TEACH YOU TANTRA

When we become your Tantric coaches, there are five ways in which we can teach you Tantra. If your primary desire is to learn the ways of sacred sexuality and to actualize your sexual and spiritual potential, then you will have identified your reason for seeing us as being one of the first three reasons for seeking coaching,  and one of the first three ways of teaching, mentioned below, will be suitable for you. Naturally the sessions will be profoundly pleasurable but the focus will be on providing you with the consciousness and skills that will not only enhance your stay with us but which will enhance your sexual and love life after you leave and for the rest of your life. If you are primarily looking for a sensual, Tantric experience to spice up your love life in the now, you will have identified your reason for seeing us as number four and will be more interested in option four. Naturally, you will probably leave with new awareness and possibly new skills but this will not be the focus.

You can choose from among the following:

1. A session or sessions from our program. You can do one or more Tantric sessions from among the Tantric sessions described in the attached Couples Tantric Program.

2. A unique session or sessions for you. You can do one or more Tantric sessions, which we will design to meet your particular needs, interests, time constraints and budget. Reading the program description below may help in defining your needs.

3. Doing it all. You can be initiated into all of the Tantric teachings listed in the Couples Tantric Program.

4. An erotic or fantasy session. We can create a one session Tantric experience that would be suitable to you if you were a couple who wanted a magical, sensual, erotic, one of a kind, experience to juice up your life together. The focus of this session would be on your pleasure rather than your learning, although both would take place.

5. A program based on an indepth assessment of you and your relationship.
You can present us with the fundamental issues that are challenging your relationship, both emotionally and sexually, give us some idea of where your special interests lie with regard to the Tantric coaching options for couples that we have outlined, and then place yourselves in our hands to develop a program that we feel will most benefit you. This will involve us either doing an in depth telephone interview with you, or sending you a extensive questionnaire, aimed at finding out what we need to know to work with you most effectively and spending considerable time, prior to your arrival, reading, analyzing and discussing your answers and establishing a game-plan for your serving you both delightfully and effectively. In our opinion this will be the most effective choice that you can make.

We bet that you would like a menu of what we have to offer and if you click on the links below you will get just that. We have broken up the content of our teachings into a possible twelve seven sessions, most of which are about three hours each. If there is something that you wish to learn or experience that you do not find on our menu, feel free to ask if we can provide it. There may be things that we have not mentioned that are within our expertise but we simply did not think to include them.

The sessions below would present an ideal menu if you were to cover all that we have to offer in Tantra. However, they are not intended to be cast in stone and you can pick and choose from the different sessions to create a single session or a series of sessions that most represent your desires and needs. Thus, this menu is above all intended to show you the full range of choices available to you. If you let us know about your desires and needs, we will be happy to assist you in designing a program that will be optimal in meeting them.

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COUPLES TANTRIC PROGRAM

Pre-requisites for Successful Tantric Sessions

The description of the individual sessions is intended to give you an idea of what could be endeavored in any one three hour session. However, there are some pre-requistes that need to be fulfilled in order to ensure the success of your Tantric training with us. For more information, please click here.

• Previous sessions have provided the skill foundation for that session.
• Deep psychological or relationship issues are not blocking the flow of sexual energy between the couple or commandeering the time and energy of the session. If this is or becomes a factor, it will need to be addressed either in the opening session or whenever it arises. It would be advisable to inform us of anything you are aware of along these lines when telling us about yourselves.
• Un-addressed sexual abuse issues, identified or not, are not in the way.
• No medical problems or prescription drugs are thwarting the natural physical response.
  The couple, or one member of the couple, does not find that they have other competing agendas that take over the focus of the session.
• The couple trusts us enough to relax and open up to us in the intimate realms we are exploring. This is facilitated by discussion with both partners over the phone prior to arrival and the telephone interview. It also involves a sincere desire to learn what we have to teach you, a decision by each to open up to us and let us feel your hearts, and a mental attitude conducive to enjoying us and having a wonderful time during your stay with us . It is in the heart centered place that Tantra is best learned. It is only by being there that you truly authorize us to guide you and do our transformative work.

Session One
Introduction to each other, Tantra, Your Relationship, the Sacred Heart Space, and Aphrodisiacs

Session Two
The Sacred Heart Space, Being in Full and Appreciative Presence with Each Other, and Teaching Your Partner How To Please You.    Option of a Tantric Puja

Session Three
Tantric Touch and Sensual Massage

Session Four (This is 2 sessions if done in sequence instead of simultaneously)
Full Body Orgasm, Female Ejaculation, Male Ejaculation Mastery
·Female Orgasm and Female Ejaculation (for the woman - with Steven)
·Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm (for the man - withTanya)

Session Five
Tantric Orgasm

Session Six
Ecstatic Sexual States in Intercourse and Sexual Energy Circuits

Session Seven
Kama Sutra and Sex Magic

Session Eight
Romancing Your Relationship: How to Create the Kind of Emotional Intimacy that Leads to Sexual Intimacy and Passion (Includes information on The Romantic Tantric Date Night)

Session Nine
The Tantric Romantic Date Night

Session Ten
The Tantric Romantic Date Night Tantric Puja

Session Eleven
Creating the Ambiance for Love-making (A shorter session)

Session Twelve
TantraTurnOn

Session One
Introduction to each other, Tantra, Your Relationship, the Sacred Heart Space and Aphrodisiacs.
This session would be included in any extensive program, and especially a weekend program or series of sessions. Its length would be determined by the time needed to discuss the relationship and sexual issues. It could be as short as an hour and as long as three hours. It could include the segment on the Sacred Heart Space, described in Session Two below, in which case it would definitely be a three hour session, or this could be a separate session. The Sacred Heart Space would be included in a separate session, if the relationship issues required too much attention to include it in the first session or if the couple wished to combine the Sacred Heart Space with either a Tantric Puja or an introductory training session on teaching your partner how to please you when pleasuring you. ) Included in this session would be the following topics:
Introductions to each other.
Discussing relationship and sexual issues. When necessary, and with your agreement, counseling and therapeutic work will be provided re relationship issues.
Desires, concerns, and boundaries.
Introduction to Tantra. The pre-requisites, and goal, of Tantra.
The Sacred Heart Space (If not included here, session two would be required.)

Introduction to aphrodisiacs (for those staying at our Tantric bed and breakfast).

Session Two
The Sacred Heart Space
Being in Full and Appreciative Presence with Each Other
Teaching Your Partner How To Please You
Do you ever move into a soft, mutually loving place based on respect, honoring and cherishing and just pour your love all over each other? Do you ever move from that space into sex, so that your love and sex are combined from the place of adult equals who adore each other? Would you like us to teach you to get to that space in a way that is compatible with a high level of erotic turn-on?

Teaching others to be in the Sacred Heart Space is one of our specialties. To be in the Sacred Heart Space means to be in a place of powerful, heart connected presence with each other and to see, honor and enjoy the inner beauty in each other. It means knowing how to move from there into the sensual and sexual and experiencing how this can intensify rather than diffuse the sexual turn-on. If you would like it, we would love to take you there.

Our teaching of the Sacred Heart Space is experiential and takes about an hour to an hour and a half of focused time. The second half of the session can take one of two turns. It can be an experiential training in how to give your partner feedback on what you are experiencing in a sensual or sexual experience and to do it in a way that supports their feelings about themselves as your lover. Another option is to extend the focus on the Sacred Hear Space with a puja experience (explained below) which introduces you not only to the Sacred Heart Space but to many of the aspects of Tantra. In fact, if you can do only one thing, you might consider doing that.

Session Three
Tantric Touch and Sensual Massage
You will learn Tantric Touch, which is a way of touching that really attunes both the giver and receiver to subtle sexual energy. The giver learns to follow the pleasure in their own hands and to tantalize and tease the receiver with their touch. The point is to arouse the whole body and not just the genitals, and in so doing to build the receiver’s orgasmic energy. The giver learns to be totally receptive to the touch of the receiver, focus intensely from a place of deep relaxation on the sensations in their body, to circulate the sexual energy that is aroused, to disappear into the erotic sensations that they experience and to give feedback when it is needed. The giver learns to follow the receivers sexual energy, taking it where s/he wants it to go and ultimately to a place of streaming orgasmic energy. Tantric Touch ends in Yoni (female genital) and g-spot massage. It also involves a more general sensual massage.

Session Four (This is 2 sessions if done in sequence instead of simultaneously)
Full Body Orgasm, Female Ejaculation, Male Ejaculation Mastery
(This is 2 sessions if done in sequence instead of simultaneously)

• Female Orgasm and Female Ejaculation (for the woman - with Steven)
• Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm (for the man - withTanya)

Female Orgasm and Female Ejaculation (for the woman - with Steven)
Steven teaches the female partner to spread and direct her sexual energy, sending it up her spine and flooding her body with her sexual energy, thereby leading to full body orgasm. She learns the breath, sounds, consciousness and movements that best enable her to experience this. She learns what to do and how to let go to bring forth the possibility of Female Ejaculation and has the opportunity to incorporate this in the experiential part of the teaching. As what she is learning is both a knack that usually requires relaxation, practice, and letting go of any psychological blocks conditioned by her family, culture or church, the results of this session cannot be guaranteed. To increase the prospects of success either in this session or subsequently, possible blocks will be identified and discussed.

Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm (for the man - withTanya)
Tanya teaches the male partner Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm.
I teach you how to make love for as long as you wish without ejaculating, not by diminishing your arousal, but by spreading it throughout your body. You will learn to flood your body with so much sexual energy that it ultimately leads to full body orgasm without ejaculation. You learn how to send your life-force sexual energy up your spine and connect it with your spiritual energy, and to spread it across your body to bring the aliveness and arousal throughout your body and not just focused in your genitals. You will learn to raise your consciousness along with your frequency by not ejaculating during states of orgasmic energy and bliss. The longer you hold onto your seed and build the orgasmic energy in you, the more power and energy you will gather and the more intense and pervasive your orgasmic energy will be. If you do the follow-up practices that I give you at the end of the session, for the period that I tell you, you will have a new mind-body reflex and will be able to make love for as long as you want without ejaculating, whether that is an hour or longer. Once you get the knack of orgasm without ejaculation, you will be a multi-orgasmic man, and will experience orgasm on a whole new and far more powerful level.

(The teaching of this session is accomplished through verbal instruction, heart-centered emotional connection, sensual touch, erotic genital touch, and consciousness.)

Session Five
Tantric Orgasm
Steven teaches the male partner how to build his lover’s sexual energy and bring her to orgasmic states through touch, emotional connection and through guiding her consciousness. Where he can take her will depend in part on what is her natural next step at this point. For example, if she is pre-orgasmic, to become orgasmic is any way what so ever, would be a wonderful step forward. If she is multi-orgasmic, to learn how to experience full body orgasm or extended orgasm would be a profound up-leveling. However, there are no goals in this session other than for both partners to practice the skills that will ultimately take her to these spaces and to do so while experiencing great pleasure. He learns what to do to peak and plateau his lover’s sexual energy, bringing her to high orgasmic states before she moves into either an extended, full body, implosive orgasm or an intense explosive orgasm. She learns how to respond in a way the potentiates this. If he and she are ready for this step, he learns his part in supporting her to experience Female Ejaculation. He then practices with feedback from his partner - and guidance from us.

More specifically, some or all of the following activities will take place in this session:
· He will practice giving his partner a clitoral orgasm. She will practice guiding her partner and disappearing into her sensations.
· He will practice giving his partner a female g-spot orgasm. She will practice teaching her lover to give her a g-spot orgasm.
· He will practice peaking his partner. She will practice peaking her sexual energies and guiding her partner.
·He will practice plateauing his partner. She will practice plateauing her sexual energies and guiding her partner.
·He will practice blending clitoral and g-spot orgasms with fingers. She will practice building her orgasmic energy, surrendering to the experience and her partner, and guiding her partner.
·He will practice blending clitoral and g-spot orgasm through a combination of oral and manual stimulation

In this session, we will be teaching you both Tantric Orgasm and guiding the male partner in the direction of taking his beloved there. Tantric Orgasm is an implosive, full body, as distinct from explosive, genital orgasm arising form circulating and flooding the body with peaks of sexual energy without orgasming until the body begins to stream and shake with orgasmic energy. You will both have more practice in running and spreading subtle sexual energy in the female partner’s body. He and she will learn the knack of slowly filling her body with more and more sexual energy, without orgasming, until she begin to feel powerful vibrations of orgasm continuously everywhere. Instead of having a quick explosive orgasm, she practice with her partner pumping the energy of an impending sexual orgasm throughout her body, circulating it over and over. The energy implodes instead of being released in an explosion. She, with her partner’s help and our guidance, will sexual breathing, consciousness, sound and movement to circulate her sexual energy, and to take her sexual energy and send if from her genitals up her spine, spreading it throughout her body as she does so. He will use sexual play to stimulate and arouse her body, including her erogenous zones, while she circulates her sexual energy. We will assist and support him in this. This sexual play will take place in the traditional Tantric way where your turn on arises from how focused you are on the sensations in your body.

We will teach you how both to become turned on from the most subtle of sensations. Perhaps you wonder how this will serve you. The answer is that the more sensitized you become, the more easily you are aroused and you can be aroused by a wider array of stimulation and thus have a wider range of experience and self expression on the sexual level. When something subtle can become an exquisite turn for you, something even hotter and more exciting will elicit a more powerful sexual response than it does now because you are more attuned to your sexual nerve endings and can simply feel more and feel it more over your whole body. When the sexual feelings that you have do not result in a quick orgasm, but build and build instead, you have an implosive orgasm that just keeps on reoccurring as you keep on re-circulating the energy. As your life force sex energy expands, it spreads throughout your body, flooding it with pulsing, throbbing, quivering, orgasmic vibrations and contractions. You have an inner, and perhaps even an outer, trembling and shaking. Your nervous system is vibrating so intensely and can be experienced as radiating electric light. When most intense, you experience it not so much as in you, as you being it.

Time permitting, the female partner will have the opportunity to work with her male partner, to bring him to a place of extended, full body orgasm.
The role we play with the couple in this session will be negotiated at the beginning of the session.

Depending on the what a person’s natural next step is, or on their capacity to open up and blossom rapidly, the following experiences, or even sexual abilities, may develop out of this session:

• Peaking and Plateauing
• Multiple Orgasms
• Extended Tantric Orgasm
• Blended Orgasm

Peaking and Plateauing
Tantric orgasm cannot be learned without learning to peak and plateau your sexual energies. Peaking involves going to a high peak of arousal and then falling back to return to and repeat this process over and over again. Lovers learn to adjust the stimulation that they give to avoid sending their partner over the edge and to spread their sexual energy over their body instead of exploding it out in a quick explosion. Plateauing is reaching and maintaining a high level of arousal for a period of time without either going down or going over the edge. We will give you practice sessions in each of these.

Multiple Orgasms
We hope that by you learning not to ejaculate and by both you and your partner learning to have full body orgasm, that you will thereby come to experience multiple orgasms and develop the knack of having multiple, full body orgasms. However, there is something beyond multiple, full body orgasms and that is extended orgasms.

Extended Tantric Orgasm
Extended orgasms last longer. They consist of continuous slow contractions of orgasmic sexual energy that become increasingly more intense and ecstatic and last from minutes to an hour or even longer. They follow on from multiple orgasms that take place in closer and closer succession. The capacity to reach extended orgasm is obviously a very advanced level and can only be achieved if is, or becomes during your time with us, your natural next step. We mention it because it is a possibility, if you become ready for it.

Blended Orgasm
Blended orgasm results from the stimulation of multiple erogenous zones combined with the Tantric techniques of breath, sound, movement and presence to flood the body with orgasmic energy that comes from those different zones, such as (but not limited to) the clit and the female g-spot in the woman or the male g-spot and the lingam (the Tantric term for penis) in the man. This is an advanced stage of development but if other states of Tantric orgasmic pleasure are achieved by the woman this may also be possible for her.

Demonstration - Additional time
We will be happy to demonstrate to you all of this (peaking, plateauing, Tantric orgasm, blended orgasm) if you wish. We could do it in the Tantra love swing if you wish so that you could see better what is actually happening. In typical Tantric fashion we would not guarantee anything as to do so would create performance anxiety and take us out of the pleasure of the erotic present, where true orgasmic energy lies. This demonstration may add about an hour to the session.)

Session Six
Ecstatic Sexual States in Intercourse and Sexual Energy Circuits
As Tantric lovers we very concerned with moving the Kundalini sexual energy in our body and between our bodies, as it is this that creates the most ecstatic sexual states. We can teach you to have intercourse using the Tantric approaches for flooding your bodies with sexual energy, connecting your sexual and spiritual energies, bouncing off each other’s orgasmic energies and transmitting these energies back and forth between you, creating what we call in Tantra "The Circle of Bliss."

You will begin by learning the movements, sounds, breath and consciousness, that are a part of Tantric love-making. You will practice these while facing each other. Then, you will use sensual and Tantric Touch to arouse each other. Once aroused, you will sit facing each other. The female partner will sit on her lover, inserting him inside her, and they will do the movements together. After we will teach you to do the Tantric love-making in other standard Tantric positions, missionary, woman on top, etc. We make sure that your standards for this experience are not set too high, and that you understand the concept of sandbox practice sex and its limitations. We can either be present during the love-making practice, which we recommend, or we can teach all that we have to teach and then you can practices alone, seeking us out for feedback and guidance either during or after. You may do a second practice session if you wish and time permitting.

Sexual Energy Circuits
You will also learn about Sexual Energy Circuits, which create an intensification of orgasmic energy. They help increase and direct the orgasmic energy and it’s flow within and between your bodies. These can be created by each, either independently of each other, or in union, during intercourse. Sexual energy circuits help the couple bring about the union of their sexual and spiritual energies, both within their own bodies and between them.

Session Seven
Kama Sutra Positions and Sex Magic

Kama Sutra
We will be happy to guide the two of you in Kama Sutra love making positions. Kama Sutra love-making positions were originally designed not only to add to the pleasure and erotic stimulation of the Indian upper class but to compensate for differences in size of the male and female genitals. Ideally, you want small male genitals to be matched with small female genitals, medium male with medium female, and large male with large female. As that is often not the case, these positions are aimed at changing the angle of the dangle so there is an optimal fit. If you let us know what category the two of you fit into we will select those positions that will give you optimal results. The KS defines the length of a small lingam <penis> (when erect) as about 5 inches, the medium as about 7 inches and the large as about 10 inches. The depth of a small, medium and large yoni (vagina) is the same as the length of the male lingam counterpart. (The average erect male is 6 inches (medium) and the average unexcited yoni is 4 inches (small). We will also help you to use the positions to enable your wife to identify the best positions for contacting her goddess-spot.

We teach the couple the Kama Sutra positions suitable for their genital and body types and for female g-spot contact. We demonstrate the different positions. We have them move into a position and then practice it during sex, and change to different positions as they go along. After having being coached the couple can make love privately and call on us if they need to, meeting with us after for feedback and further coaching. Alternative, the couple can practice in our presence so that we can coach them and, if they wish, add to their pleasure during this experience.

Sex Magic
Here you will learn how to use your sexual energies to manifest your desires.

Session Eight
Romancing Your Relationship: How to Create the Kind of Emotional Intimacy that Leads to Sexual Intimacy and Passion
(Includes information on The Romantic Tantric Date Night)
We come together in great love. We conjoin and wear the ring of our undying commitment. We begin to feel safe. We no longer have to be on our best behavior. Our standards fall. We find that our partner’s apparent best interest is not the same as our best interest and soon a power battle, whether low-keyed or high keyed, ensues and we become not only each other’s primary companion but intimate enemies. Familiarity dampens the flames of hot love and our times of love get further and further apart. We still care but are disappointed with what we created out of the material of the union of our loves and lives.

Is it possible to go back and recreate fresh love and re-ignite hot passion, in each case better than ever before. We say yes. It is possible to do so. We will help you move into the mental, emotional and spiritual places that form the foundation of such a reality. We will direct you to resources that will help you to continue the job after the workshop is over. We will provide educational, transformational, and Tantric relationship experiences to take you to the next level.

Step One - Creating Collaboration
Developing the understanding and attitude towards love that you need to share if you are to collaborate to up-level the emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship and take it as high as you can.

Step Two - Learning the art of Emotional and Sexual Intimacy
What to do to go deeper into yourselves and to begin to understand and transform the dynamics of your relationship. How collaborate together in developing more satisfying and exciting sexual skills.

Step Three - The Tantric Romantic Date Night - See below

Session Nine
The Tantric Romantic Date Night
We can teach you how to have a romantic, sensual and very sexy date with each other, so that you can take full advantage of this magnificently appointed room. We call it the Romantic Tantric Date Night and once you have learned how to create this experience for yourselves, you will be able to recreate it over and over again. In fact, we recommend that you have a weekly date night dedicated to igniting, and delving as deeply as possible into, the love and passion in your relationship.

A Tantric Romantic Date Night is a long, lovely time spent together in which your attention is very focused on each other from a place of appreciation, honoring, love, and, yes, even adoration. It is a womb in time and space that the couple creates in order to cultivate the sacredness and specialness in their relationship by taking the time to acknowledge and nurture it further. It is a time of deep sharing - emotional, sensual, sexual and spiritual. It begins with winding down and relaxing and moves from there into emotional intimacy, the sacred heart space, sensuality and finally to sexuality. Each step becomes a doorway into the next by providing the foundation for it.

Session Ten
The Tantric Romantic Date Night Tantric Puja
A puja is a series of sacred Tantric rituals that last for about 5 or so minutes each. Typically it involves moving from one partner of the opposite sex to the next for each ritual experience but partners can stay with each other. As Steven and I would be leading the Puja, you and your partner would experience each experience with each other and it would be an excellent way both to move into the Sacred Heart Space and to practice many different aspects of Tantra. Here is part of our promotional material for the Tantric Date Night Puja.

"We move into love - and romance has its way with us. But time passes and time has its way with romance, all too often diminishing the spark of reverence and desire. If we are to maintain our passion and aliveness we must choose sacred presence, so that we can create the magic of our connection. This puja will take us through the stages of a fabulous Tantric Date Night in which we create this connection. We will begin with relaxation, move into emotional intimacy, and from there into the Sacred Heart Space, sensuality, and ultimately, the electric energy of sacred Tantric sex."

We can also do an excellent one and a quarter hour puja.

Session Eleven
Creating the Ambiance for Love-making (A shorter session)
· The Bedroom Environment. How to create a physical place for love-making that has the ambience of love and sex. The very space itself is an invitation to love and passion.
· What You Wear - Dressing to bring out the God and Goddess in each other.
· Nutrients for Sexual Health and Aphrodisiacs. Your turn-on is influenced by the nutrients in your body and as you age they become more depleted. By taking sexual nutrients as a regular practice and taking them in high doses before love-making you can find a new lease of sexual life together. You will experience this in terms of an increase in your desire for sex, the intensity of your experience during love-making, the intensity of your orgasm, and his capacity to get hard and last longer.
· Bedroom Adventure Gear and Sensual Pleasuring Items - the love-swing, the liberator blocks, and other pleasures.

Session Twelve
TantraTurnOn
A one session Tantric experience that would be suitable to you if you were a couple who wanted a magical, sensual, erotic, one of a kind, experience to juice up your life together. The focus of this session would be on your pleasure rather than your learning, although both would take place.

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RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SESSIONS
Couples whose relationship is strained by relationship issues and conflicts will need to work on these if they interfere with them learning Tantra.  It is possible to side-step these problems if the fundamental foundation of the relationship is strong and loving. The couple can choose to build on their strengths through Tantra and simply deal with their issues when they arise. The love and passion that they will experience as a result of Tantra will make this easier to do. While such couples can benefit immensely by dealing with their relationship problems, this is not essential for their initiation into Tantra. However, if their love is rocky or destructive, a couple will need to deal with what is happening between them in order to take advantage of what Tantra has to offer.

Couples experiencing relationship issues and challenges can learn techniques for conflict resolution and artful ways to come back to the Sacred Heart Space. It is important to develop trust and good-will, to be open to change in both yourself and your partner, to be willing to see each other with fresh eyes and hear each other with unblocked ears, to accept only win-win resolutions of difficult issues and to leave grudges and resentments behind. We can help you do this. We can do so by doing an initial opening session on these matters and by interweaving this throughout the sessions on an as needed basis. We recommend where possible, that if time and finances permit, that we begin with this session. Relationship counseling sessions, whether they are a beginning session or, for couples seeing us on a regular basis, interspersed between the other Tantra session, will usually be two hours – although they could be either shorter or longer.

WHAT IS TANTRA?

Three Articles on Tantra

1. Tantra and Tantric Sex - An Overview byTanya

2. The Difference between Tantric and Normal Sex byTanya

3. The Tantric Way by Steven Vogue

TANTRA AND TANTRIC SEX - AN OVERVIEW

Tantra is a spiritual path and a path of sacred sexuality, whereby you come to experience the union of your sexual and spiritual energies. In so doing, you experience the divinity in yourself, your partner and in all of existence. Tantra is concerned with the transformation of energy. It directs us to transform our life-force energy and sexual energy into spiritual energy for the purpose of spiritual enhancement and enlightenment. Within the context of Tantra, sexual relationships and experiences are grist for the mill of our spiritual advancement – which includes creating a bond of sacred love with our partner.

Tantra is an ancient tradition with its roots in Hinduism and Buddhism. It came to America and the west, pioneered in a new form, known as Neo- Tantra. It’s resurgence can be attributed mainly to the enlightened Tantric master Osho Rajneesh and his disciples – although others, such as the kria-yoga Tantricas played a crucial role too. Osho Rajneesh underplayed the emphasis on mantras, positions and ritual and placed it on spiritual consciousness, and a unique combination of meditation, risk-taking, wildness and spontaneity. The issue was to go deep, find your true core and express it in it’s fullness – both in life and in your sexuality.

The Tantric couple approach their love-making without performance concerns, goals or agendas – other than to taste fully the essence and form of each moment. They are not concerned with the pleasures or pains of the past. They are not anticipating the future, longing for or reaching toward this or that experience. They are not moving towards orgasm. Only this moment exists for them and they let it fill their senses, surrendering to it completely. and the next moment rises inevitably out of the fullness of their experience. Their love making is slower, calmer, more meditative. They are in no hurry to get anywhere. There is nowhere to go but here – and now here – and now here. They attune their breathing and circulate their sexual energy together – either in synchrony or in counter-point to each other. By this means they build a powerful charge of subtle energy. By focusing their attention on their conscious intention and their breathing and by visualizing of the movement and direction of this subtle energy, they are able to draw their life-force and sexual energy up their central meridian to the higher spiritual centers in the brow (the third eye) and the crown, thereby igniting their spiritual centers and uniting their spiritual and sexual energies. Through the same means they are able to transmit these energies to their partner or receive them from their partner, in one of a variety of different configurations, that includes circling the energy between them and sending it back and forth in a U-shaped dimension. In so doing, they create the Circle of Bliss that Tantra talks about – in which the lovers experience a powerful force of light traveling within and uniting their two bodies. This force can become so expansive that they disappear into the light either individually or together, and so become one with each other and all of existence.

There are a number of pre-requisite for Tantra without which no Tantra exists.

• The first has to do with the relationship between the partners. This relationship is one of the sacred heart space. When a couple is in the sacred heart space, the partners acknowledges and experience the sacred dimension in both themselves and in their partner and pay homage to the Godhead within. There is a term in Tantra called Namaste. It means: “The God in me salutes the God in you. I bow down to the divinity within you. I honor your high being.” Thus, in Tantra, it is from a place of high honoring, reverence and cherishing that two people meet - whether or not they are lovers

• The second prerequisite is to be totally present in the moment – sensing and feeling into it - and out of your mind. Thinking is the anesthetic of the senses. When you are fully aware, with your consciousness in your senses, and are out of your mind, you experience much more, with far greater intensity and vividness. You are more alive in both your life in general and in your sensuality and sexuality in particular.

• The third pre-requisite is to celebrate life regardless of what life brings. To be Tantric is to say “yes” to life with gratitude.. This requires that we not be attached to our preferences of how we want things to but rather to find the blessing in the “what is” of life and flow with it.

• The fourth pre-requisite is to be able to run energy – to be able to move and direct your life-force sexual energy, spreading it across your body, so that your whole body becomes alive, and to be able to send it up your central meridian and interweave it with your spiritual energy. In doing so you are able to experience yourself in a profoundly heightened spiritual and sexual state simultaneously, thereby weaving together these energies and centers. When love-making, a Tantric couple must be able to circulate this transformed energy between their bodies, which, in an expanded ecstatic state, they will experience as full body orgasm

It can be said that Tantra teaches you how to use sexual energy to achieve altered states of consciousness that create a union between the earthly and the divine, between the sexual and the spiritual. This is achieved by slowing down time by slowing down the breath and being absolutely present to what is being experienced in this slowed down time. By focusing your attention on your senses, you become so attentive to what you are experiencing, you begin to attune to the energetic realm within yourself and your partner. You use your attention to intensify, expand, and direct your energy to different places in your own and your partner’s body. In so doing you can create a circle of bliss between yourself and your partner and can now generate ecstatic states at will. Tantra is best taught through direct experience of being with an adept.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TANTRIC AND NORMAL SEX

Tantric love-making is a matter of the heart and feelings. The two partners come to each other from the sacred heart space and meet each other on the level of their high being – that part of them that is their most beautiful, loving, compassionate, up-lifted selves. They honor, cherish and revere each other because they chose to focus on the best in each other, especially during their intimate times together. They bring sacredness to their sexual experiences with each other and yet at the same time free up that part of them selves that is wild, abandoned, primitive and spontaneous. In normal love-making, the novelty of new lovers keeps them very attentive and honoring with each other and thus the sex is hot. Over-time familiarity steps in and couples become less attentive and honoring with each other, and begin to take each other for granted. They do the same thing over and over again in the same location and, often at the same times, and are not fully attentive as they do it. As a result the sex becomes routine and they lose their desire for each other and become disappointed in their sexual partnership with each other.

Normal sex is a fast moving, continual escalating rise of energy from no excitement to a peak of excitement and orgasm The goal of intercourse is orgasm – an orgasm that comes far too soon for most women to have orgasm during intercourse. Tantric sex has no goal but to enjoy the moment. It is a slow, heart connected, experience with rises and falls of energy and plateaus and multiple peaks that goes on and on over extended time.

With Tantricas, there is a lot of eye contact and heart connection, a lot of playfulness and even silliness. There may be breaks for erotic dancing, snacks, a change of positions, such as from man on top to scissors position, or from sitting in yub yum to anal sex, from sensual massage and erotic sensual delights that pleasure the skin, taste, smell and ears of a blind folded receiver, and that might include sucking liqueur off a breast, or searching for a grape in a yoni, to making love in a Tantra swing hung from the ceiling. There is no push for anyone’s orgasm and at no point does anyone want there to be more arousal than there is. The desire only is to totally enjoy whatever is happening and to be fully present to it to all the enjoyment it has to offer.
The bodies of Tantricas are relaxed and abandoned. There is no resistance to the sexual energy. They are fluid and undulating and shift positions often. Typically, lovers are fairly rigid; their body’s tense with the sexual energy and apart from the man moving in and out with powerful, and often numbing thrusting, there is little movement.

Tantricas use their breath, attention, the movement of their bodies, the contraction of their p.c. muscles, their sounds and their imagination or consciousness to move their sexual energy from their genitals into their body so that their whole body becomes alive and turned on with sexual energy. Some of that sexual energy may be taken out of the genitals in the case of the man, which means that he is a little less aroused genitally and in a better position to receive more arousal without ejaculating. In normal sex all attention remains on the genitals and building the energy there and so ejaculation happens much more quickly.

Tantricas know that where consciousness goes, energy flows. They use their concentrated attention to move their energy throughout their body, particularly sending it to their heart and third eye, which is their spiritual center. In this way, they can experience the unions of the sexual and spiritual energy and imbue their sexual energy with their love for their partner. This movement of their energy results in streams of vibrations and the experience of light moving through their body. They can similarly use their consciousness to direct this energy into their partner and to receive this energy from their partner in a variety of configurations. Through this means Tantricas create a great deal of their own turn-on instead of relying on their partner to turn them on. Ordinarily, the sexual energies and experiences of the non-Tantrica are more dependent upon each other, in that each is more reliant or the visual and kinesthetic behavior of their partner for their turn-on rather than on their own ability to access and run sexual and love energy. Their sexual energies are also more separate from their partner in that they are more focused on the arousing sensations in their own body or the fantasies in their secret mind, than on the movement of sexual energies between their bodies in a variety of configurations and on the experience of their merged energies becoming as one.

Tantricas slow down time and slow down the speed of their sexual experience by slow, deep belly breathing. Exhalations are often through the mouth with a sigh or a sound that gives voice to the sexual feeling that is being experienced. In normal sex, breathing is often fast and shallow. There may be panting or very little breathing at all.

Sound is a key to the sexual energy of the Tantrica. The Tantrica is very noisy throughout lovemaking; making moans and groans, sighs, gasps, etc. Non-Tantric lovemaking is much more silent, especially on the part of the male, with most sound coming at the moment of orgasm. All sound is energy. Sexual sound is sexual energy. When you make sexual sounds you fill your body with sexual energy. You fill the room with sexual energy, you partner hears and they get filled with sexual energy. The more your body is filled with sexual energy the more energy you have to send to your partner and the closer you are to full body orgasm. For a male Tantrica who knows ejaculation mastery, that means orgasm without ejaculation and the opportunity to keep on making love and having many more orgasms.

Normal sex is wonderful but it has trouble with-standing the test of time and every long, successful relationship puts it to the test of time. Tantric sex is more wonderful and becomes more wonderful over time. This is because Tantric couples share the deep truth of their existence with each other and acknowledge and honor each other, thereby becoming continuously more emotionally intimate. Emotional intimacy is the foundation of sexual intimacy in long-term relationships. When you add to this emotional intimacy and the sacred heart space that leads to it, the Tantrica’s skill in focusing their attention in their senses and out of their mind, in moving their sexual energy and merging it with their spiritual energy and with their partner’s energy, and in surrendering to each other from the place of their high being, you have Tantric sex.

THE TANTRIC WAY

When one travels along the path of conscious sensual intimacy one comes to a fork in the road – one path is well known and we’ve traveled it many times; it is the mountain path leading to the peak, the usual path that starts with touching, thence to kissing, thence to foreplay and stimulation, to building excitement, and fairly quickly to sex. The participants primary movement is that of more and more excitement, faster breathing, and within a short period of time a peak experience of energy breakthrough known as an orgasm – a peak orgasm, usually experienced by the male, who, having released this energy has no more energy left to facilitate an orgasm for his partner. Indeed, some statistics demonstrate that 90% of women are pre-orgasmic and 90% of men ejaculate prematurely – and there is a meaningful relationship between these two statistics – the main reason so many women are pre-orgasmic is due to the man’s habitual pattern of yearning for and quickly attaining the peak orgasm – “getting off” as it were.

The path less traveled by is the path that leads into the valley – This is the Tantric path. As one comes to the fork and looks down the Tantric path there is a mystical signpost that is mandatory reading for the traveler on this path. The signpost reads, “At the start of sexual union keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, and, so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.” The signpost was planted there by Shiva centuries ago and is one of the 112 meditations. The traveler is encouraged to travel this path as a meditation and in meditation.

Most westerners, if they have heard of Tantra at all, believe that Tantra has something to do with sex. Although this is true, Tantra is all inclusive. Tantra is a pathless spiritual path in the sense that a path infers that one is going somewhere on something that leads somewhere. Tantra, however doesn’t go somewhere or lead somewhere, thus it is pathless. Tantra represents a state of being, not doing. The Tantric state is that of total acceptance, an acceptance of what is in this moment. Tantra says there is only one reality – that which is now, only this moment. The future is non-existential – it doesn’t exist – tomorrow doesn’t exist – when it comes it will be today, then it will exist. The past is non-existential – it doesn’t exist – yesterday doesn’t exist.

In the sensual/sexual/intimate arena Tantra allows for everything – complete indulgence with complete awareness present – from soft and slow to hot and wild to completely mad. However, it is suggested that the beginner on the path go slowly, breath slowly, look into your beloved’s eyes, the windows of the soul, and feel the ecstatic moment. Touch in a way that focuses your unified consciousness on the energy of touch – touching yet not touching – so close physically with fingers or lips that you are about to touch and yet an infinitesimal distance away so that you are not quite touching. In that space and state of being put your attention on that space – the space between touch and non-touch. The energy is there.

The experience is much like riding a bicycle. When attempting a bicycle for the first time one has to remember technique – which way to turn the wheel when the bike leans left, etc. Ultimately, as the knack is developed, the technique is dropped and forgotten about if one wants to achieve the highest expertise. Likewise, technique is valuable in Tantra up to a point. After that, the knack is developed and the technique is dropped in favor of experiencing the bliss of being, not that of doing as technique would imply. One has to “do” a technique – one has to “be” an experience.

Once the enlivened touch/non-touch energy space is experienced, breathing together slowly brings about more focused awareness and intensity. Tantra says that the breath is the bridge between the physical and the spiritual. Experiencing the unified breath does a number of things. Firstly, a slow breath slows down the mind and its thoughts and brings you into the present – into meditation. Tantric “turn-on” is in the present. Secondly, by slowing down the breath and thence the mind, the attention is taken out of the head and into feeling – into the heart Thirdly, attention on the slow breath and consequently slowing of the mind particularly in sexual union produces an excitedly relaxed state such that the male can focus on the breath, remain in the present (the fire in the beginning) and withdraw his attention from his genitals, and shift away from the urge to ejaculate and shift toward the state of ecstatic union – with the recognition of the truth that the male-female energy is one.
As the participants stay in the present, they perceive their union as a vibrant, living, energy and as it becomes more energetic it becomes more meditative and the more meditative it becomes the more each of you melt and merge into each other, forgetting you even have bodies. And since you are not “going anywhere” and are totally in the moment and totally excitedly relaxed, there is no peaking out with an ejaculation because the energy is moving up – and the male can now be in sexual union for hours simply because he heeded the Tantric signpost with the centuries old sutra that said, “At the start of sexual union, keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, and, so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.”

Tantra says stay in the beginning – forget all about the end. Tantra says, stay in the moment, in the present. Tantra has no future and has no past — its only existence is in the here now. Thus, forget about having an orgasm, simply stay in the present moment. Stay in an excitedly relaxed space, without being in a hurry. This is not an oxymoron. Excitedly relaxed is that of keeping the attention on the present energetic level of excitement without looking for anything more – its an attitude that says, “This moment is so magnificent and perfect that nothing more is wanted, nothing is wished for.

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