How to Create a Sacred Tantric Sex Space in Your Home

Tantric sex believes in honoring everything related to your union. It means honoring and respecting each other’s beings, your bodies, what you can do to and for each other, and others. It thus makes perfect sense that one of the first Tantric sex things you should do is to create a sacred place where you can engage in Tantric sex.

Do This Tonight: A Tantric Sex Sacred Place

First of all, a Tantric sex place should be a fixed location in your home. It shouldn’t be a place you just set up tonight and then tear down or remove after making love. No, you need to invest in this space.

However, having said that, your own Tantric sex space need not take up a whole room! It can be just a corner of your bedroom or you can convert a small portion of your attic. Some couples use a portion of their living room but if you can avoid it, please do.

This is because, in most cases, one’s living room is too associated with everyday activities that it’s almost impossible to view the Tanric sacred space you have there as a place of peace, love and spirituality. If you don’t have any other space, then you can make the Tantric sex area face away from the living room or simply use plenty of nice fabrics to use as covering.

Secondly, in creating your sacred space, it’s important that it’s clean, comfortable and very relaxing. So the first thing you do once you choose the exact are is to clean it.

Sweep and vacuum the whole area before anything else. When you’re done, take away every piece of clutter surrounding it. You can then place a nice rug or carpet on the floor area. Make sure it’s big enough for lying down and adorn this area with lots of pillows of every size.

Make sure that your Tantric sex space has access to proper lighting. Do away with bright bulbs though and go for romantic shades that you can dim. Having space for a lot of lighted candles is also great! In Tantric sex, incense is used a lot so a space where you can light them us useful.

It would be great if you can set up some poles or make a tepee-like structure from which you can hang colorful or neutral-colored fabrics. Be sure you use colors that personally make you relax and don’t go by any pictures or samples you see. Do whatever works for you.

After adorning the place with fabric, and if you have space for it, bring in a pot of plant or two, or make sure there’s a place where you can set a vase filled with a fresh bouquet of flowers. You can also just opt to place two potted plants at each side of the ‘entrance’ of your sacred sex space.

Inside, lavish attention on the place where you and/or your sex partner can lay down (i.e., the lover’s bed). Use the best linen and stock up on small blankets or towels (assuming space is available).

Ensure that a music system is within distance. At least, make sure the remote control for your sound system is at hand when you enter your Tantric sex place. Since Tantra sex can last for hours, you need a good supply of romantic and soothing CDs!

Some couples like to bring in special keepsakes inside their scared sex space like a wedding photo or their first picture together. Others don’t like any clutter whatsoever and see the Tantric sex tent as a place where they can ‘leave behind’ the world. Again, do whatever works for you and your lover.

While inside the Tantric sex space, you can bring in with you a bottle of wine or simple food items like fruit or cut up cheese and some crackers.

Once you’ve created your sacred space, take the time to ‘bless it’. Don’t worry; you don’t need to engage in some elaborate ritual. Simply make a conscious effort to ward away any negative vibes and invite positive ones.

You can do this alone or with your partner. Face the sacred sexuality space or go inside it. Sit down close your eyes. Make a fervent wish that goes like this…

‘This is the space I devote to sacred loving and sexuality. This is where I’ll be making wonderful, passionate love to my partner and nothing, nothing, can harm us or prevent us from honoring each other in this scared space.’

How to Introduce Tantric Sex to Your Lover

A lot of people are skeptical about tantric sex simply because they don’t know enough about it. Because it’s not the ‘norm’, they tend to shy away or even ridicule it. Is your lover one of these people?

If your partner is not so hot about engaging in Tantric sex with you, don’t give up on the topic just yet! More often than not, you just have not explained the topic to her fully and, more importantly, have not emphasized just how much better lovemaking will be between the two of you. So following are some tips on how you can persuade her to get into ’sacred sex’ or ’spiritual sex’ with you.

How to Get Your Partner Excited about Engaging in Tantric Sex

Step 1: Just touch on the topic.
Don’t just jump on the topic of Tantric sex, you’ll probably scare her off that way, or make her think you’ve gone a bit loony, or you’re simply trying to trick her into doing a sex act she won’t like.

Start the conversation by discussing how you want her to enjoy sex more. Start on this because this is something she can easily relate to at the moment. Tell her that in addition to her experiencing more and better physical pleasure, you will also reach a stage in your relationship where your connection will be at a deeper emotional level. Women LOVE this (and you’re not lying when you say it either!) and will definitely be more open to what you have to say next!

Step 2: Start the education process.
Talk about Tanric sex’ goals first and not its ways or methods. Tell her that the practice of sacred sexuality is not just about getting an orgasm but about connecting heart, mind, body and spirit. Doesn’t she want a deeper connection with you?

Inform her too that Tantric sex is not about ‘kinky sex acts’. Tell her that it involves a lot of meditation, use of scented candles and oils, massage, relaxing breathing techniques, and a lot of emotional, mental and physical indulgence.

Step 3: Tell her it’s not even THAT big a mystery.
Let her know that rock star Sting and his wife engages in Tantric sex all the time. The actor Woody Harrelson does so too. Mentioning these famous names doesn’t mean that she should get into Tantric lovemaking because it’s ‘in’, but because it’s not a big mystery anymore as far as other couples are concerned.

Tell her too that Tantra sex touches on yoga. In fact, yoga IS a form of Tantric sex because it focuses on aligning the body with the rest of the universe. If she knows about the principles of yoga, then tell her getting into Tantric sex is not that big a leap anymore!

Step 4: Reassure her that your interest in Tantric sex is NOT because there’s something ‘wrong’ in your relationship now.
A lot of people - men and women alike - don’t want to engage in Tantric sex because of the ‘why fix something that’s not broken’ mentality. If you talk to them about getting into sacred sexuality, they think you mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with what you both have currently.

Another reason is that they feel that you’re ‘moving on’ and they’re afraid they can’t move on or keep up with you. The result? The relationship is being harmed rather than being helped. Knowing these fears will help you prepare a good argument.

Reassure them that you like or love what you have NOW but consider the joys if it could be better! You guys can always stop at anytime but to not have tried at all…? You guys can be missing out on a lot!

Step 5: Suggest a good way to start practicing Tantric sex.
A great way to end the discussion is to suggest (not push!) moving forward into trying Tantric sex. Proceed with mentioning that you came upon an article / e-book / book / website / CD / DVD that talks about Tantric sex and it seems to be the fun answer to what you guys want to achieve. Does she want to take a look at these resources too? Make her part of the decision process and she’ll be more inclined to try Tantric sex with you.

You can also suggest that you guys try the ways or methods on her first and see if they are indeed giving her more physical pleasure. The prospect of her sexually benefiting first is also a good way to convince her to try it.

Good luck!

Tantric Breathing - Breathe Your Way to Better Sex Performance

Everyday you hear or read that you’re not breathing properly. Your breathing is too shallow. This is why you often feel that your energy is being zapped from your body. If you’re not taking in enough energy, how can you be expected to exert it?

When it comes to Tantric lovemaking, proper breathing is very important. It helps you last longer and perform better. That got your interest didn’t it? Well read on then and find out how you can master the art of Tantric breathing.

Hot Tantric Breathing Tips!

Step 1: Focus, focus, focus.
When you’re having sex, you’re obviously focused on one thing: reaching an orgasm. However, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. By concentrating on the destination, you fail to enjoy the journey. Actually, you shouldn’t feel bad about this. Modern media and society has brainwashed us to focus on ‘achieving goals’, ‘instant gratification’, and ‘the sooner the better’.

Tantric sex teachings do not focus on the end result. It simply focuses on the NOW so while making love, focus on your breathing. Be mindful of each inhale and exhale.

Hot breathing tip: With each inhale, imagine the sexual energy you are drinking from her; with each exhale, imagine the sexual energy you’re emitting to her.

Step 2: Go slow.
The faster you breather, the quicker you reach orgasm. It’s like subconsciously and physically pushing yourself to reach release. But what about your partner? Enough studies show that it takes women far longer to reach their orgasms. What are you going to do then after you reach yours?

Tantric breathing is all about long, deep, and slow breaths. Keep the breathing slow and you’ll enjoy sex for hours at a time.

Step 3: Exchange ‘energies’ with your partner.
We are programmed to be competitive to the point that we all want to reach the finish line first. Consider this all too common scenario: two treadmills are side by side at the gym and two guys go on each one of them. One guy starts to run fast and before you know it, the other guy tends to do the same time. An even though these men don’t know each other, it seems that it’s just not ‘macho’ if you let the other guy outrun you!
Well the same is true during sex, albeit subconsciously. If you’re both inhaling and exhaling at the same time, you guys are subconsciously trying to goad each other to reach your destinations (orgasms) faster. So what do you do? Practice exchanging sexual energy.

To do this, breathe in as your partner breathes out, and vice versa. Try to keep close to each other as you do this, letting your breaths intermingle. This does not only provide an aura of ’support’ (rather than competition), but also makes for a deeper connection while performing the sexual act.

Step 4: Use your breath to stop climaxing.
You may be thinking why you would want to delay an orgasm. As mentioned above, one reason would be to enable your female partner to ‘catch up with you’ when it comes to climaxing. Other reasons and less thought of ones, are these: (1) if you delay cumming now, imagine how much more powerfully your climax will be later, and (2) if you cum now, then that’s it; love making is over. Why don’t you want to prolong all these wonderful feelings -physical and emotional - you are experiencing now with your lover?

So the next time, you feel the stirrings of an orgasm, rest your movements a little bit and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths to calm your body while not exactly bringing it down to ‘zero pleasure’.

Tantric breathing exercise to delay an oncoming orgasm:
As your excitement reaches almost the unbearable level, breathe heavily and deeply through your mouth. Push or puff air out of your mouth while at the same time contracting your stomach muscles. This Tantric breathing technique modifies the blood energy in your body and will prevent ejaculation because it lessens the blood supply to your penis.

Step 5: Breathe together to ‘cum’ together.
After hours of tantric lovemaking, you may indeed find yourselves reaching an orgasm and this time, you don’t want to stop it. For a more intense climax, however, do goad yourselves physically and subconsciously by breathing together, inhaling and exhaling at exactly the same time.

Start practicing the above Tantric breathing techniques and you’ll soon find that making love is better because you guys can last longer in bed.

What is Tantric Sex?

Tantric sex has many names in today’s culture: spiritual sex, sacred sexuality, spiritual union, and others. However, a common denominator in all these names is that they all relate to some level of spirituality.

Tantric sex is indeed related to your spiritual well-being because even though you are engaging in the sexual act, the purpose is not really to reach orgasm but to unite with your lover in ALL possible aspects. To put it simply, tantra lovemaking is not about intercourse per se, it’s about uniting or fusing together your bodies, and in the process connect with your partner in mind, body and spirit.

Tantric Sex History

Tantric sex has its roots in India some 4,000 years ago, where it was viewed as - what else - a spiritual tradition. It started to be known in the West in the early 1800s but it never really had a tremendously huge following.

However, in the late 1960s, a rebirth of the practice was reaching new heights in India and this led to its consequent re-emergence in Western culture. Today, tantric sex awakening is reaching an all-time high because you now also have such high profile couples advocating the benefits of tantric sex. For instance, when Sting mentioned on Oprah that he and his wife Trudie engage in tantric sex, which enable them to experience ‘five or six or seven hours of lovemaking’, the whole world wanted to find out what tantric sex is all about!

As mentioned, tantric sex is not just about ’sex’, it involves many things: tantric breathing, tantric sexual massage, creating a scared tantric place, meditation, prolonging sexual intercourse, and even tantric after play. All of these have a special purpose in tantric lovemaking.

Tantric Sex vs. ‘Normal’ Sex

The main difference between tantric sex and lovemaking as we commonly view it today is this: reaching an orgasm. With regular sex, you have a goal - to reach your climax and that’s it. However, since men and women have different needs, more often than not, one of them (mostly women) do NOT reach their sexual goal (climaxing) and so there is a lot of pent up sexual frustration in today’s relationships. It is thus no wonder that a lot of relationships have underlying stresses.

Consider these common scenarios.

- He reaches his orgasm but she never does, resulting in sexual frustration for her.
- He’s a very caring guy and wants her to experience sexual pleasure but it takes her a long time to ‘come’ and so it’s building up performance anxiety and sexual frustration for him.

In contrast, Tantric sex is not about reaching an orgasm. It’s about union. The main purpose is to connect with your lover in all aspects: heart, mind, body and soul. Does this mean you don’t reach an orgasm with Tantric lovemaking? Of course not!

On the contrary, Tantric sex practitioners swear that they have never had more body-rocking and mind-blowing orgasms before they tuned into to Tantra sex. So don’t worry; you’re in for A LOT of sexual pleasure with this form of spirituality.

Getting Started with Tantric Sex

The best way to get started with Tantric sex is to start slowly. Begin by viewing your sex partner in a different light. Try to see her as a goddess, a sexual playmate that you hold in the highest regard, and that making love to her is not just about physical pleasure in your groin area but about ecstasy in all aspects of your being.

Try this exercise: get a piece of paper and list down all the beautiful qualities or everything you like about your woman. Some men like to list down everything, even ‘great cook!’ or ‘best woman driver I know’ because, according to them, it helps them appreciate her more. Others, however, prefer to just list down sexually-related aspects such as ‘I love how her hair sways when she’s on top of me’, or ’she has the best looking ass I know’. Write down whatever aspect you feel like listing that will make you see her in a whole new light. Whatever works for you!

After creating your list, look over it and then close your eyes and revel in each of these qualities. Now, picture making love to her. Don’t you see her now more than just someone to reach an orgasm with?

Lastly, people who engage in Tantric sex love it because ‘things just keep on getting better’. Tantric lovemaking believes in this doctrine: practice, practice, practice! Yet at the same time, Tantric sex provides immediate improvements in your sex and spiritual life. So go try it. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

Tantric - Love Making for Everyday Happiness

Tantra: The Art of Sexual Healing

Tantra is a beautiful way to heal wounded sexuality and give you back your body and your life. It combines the ancient spiritual arts of sacred connection to yourself and others, gleaned from the wisdom traditions of many paths, including Buddhism, Hinduism, Sufism and Native American spirituality. Using deep and intentional breathing, imagery and movement, tantra moves the kundalini or vital life force (prana) through the chakras, opening and energizing them, bringing you home to yourself.

I began Tantra quite "by accident" during a time when I was most disgruntled with my sexuality, feeling so little pleasure I didn’t care if I ever made love again. When a friend gifted me a 7 day workshop in Hawaii, I thought only of sun, beaches and time to laze around. When it struck me I was in a workshop on sexuality, I thought "Oh, my God, what have I done now?"

Those 7 days changed my life forever. I learned my body is my own, I can set boundaries and allow only touch I desire, and I can feel desire and passion even without a partner. That week restored my holy relationship with myself. I learned that this body I’d given away so often, trading sex for love, was actually designed to give me pleasure and fulfillment in ways that could bring me to the Goddess within.

Tantra opens and activates the chakras and, by moving sexual energy through them, brings up whatever blocks true passion. My workshop leaders and dakinis (assistants who come to support sexual healing) created a sacred temple in which I felt safe to explore the pain of being sexually violated as a child, breathing through it to the pleasure beneath. In the exercises I could explode in rage, shake out the blocks, and reclaim a body ravaged by incest and years of reenactment through casual sex. It was amazing to be so accepted with all of my pain, respected and supported for my deep commitment to heal.

Even when the memories were the worst and I needed to be celibate, Tantra gave me a way to recreate my sexuality and enjoy the movement of orgasmic energy through my healing tissues. When I could make love, the practices guided me to connect my heart with my yoni (genitals) and enjoy a full-bodied extended orgasmic play far more fulfilling than any sexuality of my former, active life.

Now I find I can make love in hundreds of ways: through breathing alone with the full moon, running energy with the Goddess in the shower, touching hands on heart with my beloved and simply breathing love into each other, or through full, deep sexual exchange. Tantra adds the spiritual component so making love feels like worship and I feel like a Goddess being honored. Such a change. My body is now a temple and I enjoy life within it.

Reclaiming Lost Sexuality 

For far too many women, sexuality is a battleground between the past and the present. Touch and closeness trigger memories of past touch that was wounding or, for those who’ve been violated, devastating. Centuries of repression of the feminine make intimacy difficult for many women as little of our natural, spontaneous and joyful sexuality remain.

Too often, our loved ones instilled fear and distrust of intimacy, a realm where trust is essential. Even if a family’s touch is healthy, messages that separate us from our bodies abound in this culture where intimacy is little understood. We struggle to own our sexuality again and find our passion, or try to get by without it (who needs it anyway!) to avoid the pain and confusion.

Having been wounded repeatedly myself, I found therapy not enough to bring me home to myself. It helped heal the past wounds, but I still didn’t know how to create an adult sexuality or allow the deep connection and soul contact I yearned for. Discovering the path of Tantra over a decade ago allowed me to unravel the wounds from my body and psyche and open to connecting sexually on my own terms. I discovered my wholeness behind the wounds and felt initiated into arts that have been lost since the ancient temples were taken from us.

Recovery from incest paralleled opening to a deeper sexuality and releasing bonds that strangled my passion. Sometimes old emotions would surface, but this ancient healing path that honors both the dark and the light had space for my pain and anger. I was supported in healing by those who also coaxed forward my goddess nature and full range of expression. Being in a community of caring people gave me the sense of healthy family nurturing my growth (finally!).

Sexual invasions, especially those in childhood split the psyche asunder and create chaos and confusion in one’s sexuality. It is either blocked off or open without boundaries, sometimes vacillating from one to the other. This shows up in various ways: promiscuity or being shut down sexually, being able to flirt and seduce but not sustain intimacy, objectifying self and other, or rushing to get sex over with to return to safer ground.

The survivor may strive to offer what is wanted, be who you think the other seeks, and not be present, even to yourself, to know what you want — let alone ask for it. Serving as therapist with women recovering from such wounds, I find that to fully release the dysfunctional pattern, one must acquire new behaviors and attitudes, the kind that encourage and allow healthy relationships.

Even women not overtly wounded come from a society that rarely teaches relationship and communication skills, one that devalues emotional intimacy while over-valuing facades. Women are told how to look and behave, not taught how to fulfill their needs and satisfy their longings. In ancient times, we were initiated in the arts of sustaining sacred relationships in the safety of temples with trained priestesses helping us open. I wanted to bring back such safe settings and the lost arts of intimacy that ought to be natural.

I’ve felt drawn, and somehow assigned by Spirit, to help coalesce a community of women engaged in discovering their true nature and entering into a sacred, positive relationship with their sexuality. By learning these tools in the safety of loving circles of women, each gains positive mirrors while exploring her inner world and healthy uses of sexual energy.

I’m thrilled to see a community of women gathering around this work, for reclaiming one’s sexuality is a complicated, on-going process that needs the support of sisters over time. Its a joy to see women blossoming under the praise and caring of others as they learn ways of being that allow sexuality to become the source of pleasure and connection it’s meant to be. Old coping mechanisms are dropped as more authentic ways of connecting are adopted.

Single women find their sexuality no longer dependent on others or determined by another’s needs, as they become more beloved with themselves. Sharing the practices within safe boundaries, women gain experience in healthy ways to relate that make their next relationship more fulfilling. Since they get some needs for touch and sensuality met without having to be sexual, they’ll put less pressure on a future partner to fulfill every need.

Couples doing the work together gain tools for moving beyond blocks and revitalize their connection, accessing deeper passions and achieving greater states of ecstasy. The practices are wonderful ways to achieve altered states as well as full body, extended orgasm, either energetically or physically.

Together we can take our sexual power back and discover ways home to our bodies. Together we can reclaim full ownership of our sexuality and the capacity to ask for and let in what we want. Together we can restore the full power of the feminine and live within it. Blessed Be.

Tantra: The Old Lost Art Of Fulfilling Sexuality

Our Sexually Immature Culture
Our society is full of tease, titillation and men taught to look at women as sex objects. We have no meaningful intimacy education and never will until we drop the false sexual repressiveness of religion used for controlling people and reorient ourselves towards loving sexual fulfillment.

We are not born naturally good at sex and we have little or no training in sexuality other than by hit and miss experimentation. We are largely conditioned by a belief system that often instills guilt, fear, insecurity or shame in our sexuality. We need to take back sexuality and integrate it with our spirits in a way that results in much more love, intimacy and fulfillment than what our culture has taught us. That is the basic teaching of Tantra.

Many couples have terrible sexual relations, since they have never been taught fulfilling sexuality, which doesn’t just come naturally hiding by yourselves in a dark bedroom. Men especially often have no idea how to give maximum pleasure to a women. Real responsible sex education is needed, not Christian repression based on mistranslated or misinterpreted scripture.

New Age Ideas Becoming Popular Again
Many warm, open people are attracted to New Age and Eastern beliefs. Many flee from the anti-sex, anti-body teaching of many Christians but falsely think they have to give up Christianity to be sexually open and fulfilled.

Tantra Teaching Needed Not Christian Repression
Tantra is an example of powerful integration of spirit and body in a positive, uplifting, healing way. Christianity has left it to the pagans to discover the possibilities in these areas while Christians in their blind prudishness and sexual puritanism wander around missing a kind of growth and fulfillment whose potential for spiritual good is incalculable.

Millions of couples have learned through Tantra to more fully share spiritually, have more awareness of themselves and their love for each other as a permanent part of their relationship. For couples who want to enrich their relationship, it can bring harmony between them and increase their sexual pleasure and intimacy. In sum, Tantric sex can create an extraordinary partnership between a couple.

Christian Tantra
By excluding the Hindu ideas, Tantra can help integrate positive sexuality with Christianity. Tantra teaches positive sexuality and ways of emotional, spiritual and physical communication which is far more meaningful than Christian repression. I uphold the Tantra teachings that can be so easily adopted into a Christian view. Christian Tantra differs from ancient Tantra only in its spiritual definitions, but most of the techniques are the same. Tantra deals with the unity of cosmic consciousness with the psychic energy centers of the body called Chakras, with the goal of self-actualization, personal integration with the universe, with breathing and yoga type meditation to make oneself in harmony with the universe. Christian Tantra communicates Gods love for each other and desire to empower each other with love of God, each other and the world through a spiritual communication of the Holy Spirit within us. The specific communication and physical techniques are powerful for both Hindus and Christians.

Sample Of Tantra Techniques
Tantra techniques are specific high touch positions that in modern day science are known to provide positive medical results within the body. Also included are many sexual positions that are much more physically stimulating, especially for women, and convey more love, acceptance as a person and trust than the usual thrusting or usual positions. But much of it is non-genitally oriented and non-intercourse sexuality which few men have experienced but many women find so much more emotionally healing than just sex.

Nurturing positions without sexual contact, to nurture each other by our bodies and spirits communicating acceptance, trust, and harmony between each other.

Exploration and getting to know you techniques very much the same as used by sex surrogates in California (where it is a respected part of professional sex therapy) used to teach being comfortable with our sexuality which does not involve intercourse.

Restoring harmony after a fight or knowing how to reconnect with your partner. Most arguments stem from and escalate out of the fact that one partner is communicating by logic, the other emotionally. This duality is the result of couples speaking two different languages and neither gets what the other is trying to say. The logical partner will remain certain about the rightness of his or her convictions, because they make perfect sense. The emotional partner will continue in his or her position because the truth of feelings cannot be denied. The emotional person doesn’t need to be convinced - in fact, can’t be convinced, because that requires a logical mind and for now the emotional mind is in charge. The emotional partner wants only to be heard, held, and loved: only wants harmony restored. Both partners need to be able to let go, lie down together and practice physical nurturing (not sex), as a means of getting back together and restoring love and harmony even in agreeing to disagree, but trying to understand why each is reacting as they are. Then, no-fault communications needs to be established, both apologize for their part in the disagreement, and affirm their love and their desire to restore harmony by forgiving each other.

Five levels of orgasmic experience for women and how to overcome blocks that get in the way of what God intended to be womens most enjoyable physical experience. The five levels are preorgasmic, sometimes orgasmic, orgasmic, multiple orgasms (the fourth of July fireworks), and extended, or Wave of Bliss level which lasts a long time and can include female ejaculation of nectar of the Goddess (amrita) in Tantra. Sexologists have only recently discovered this, but its been known for centuries in Tantra.

Awakening The Sacred Spot is seldom done by accident but only with a partner, over time, who has been trained to awaken the most powerful possible female sexual organ resulting in what many women say is the best of the best orgasm. Again, sexologists are now confirming what has been lost for centuries, but taught as basic ancient Tantra.

These are just some of the many Tantric techniques that should be taught in modern culture. The result would be more love, more emotional and spiritual fulfillment as well as intimacy and positive sexuality that has been falsely repressed far too long.

Brief History of Tantra
Tantra refers to a series of esoteric Hindu books that describe certain sexual rituals and meditations. These ancient Indian books, over two thousand years old, were written in the form of a dialogue between the Hindu god Shiva, who is the penetrating power of focused energy, and his consort, Shakti, who represents the female creative force. The Hindu Tantras enjoyed sexual play and sexual union as an act of joyful celebration, as a demonstration of connectedness, as a symbolic affirmation of the unity inherent in a couples relationship. The skills are bringing previously unheard of fulfillment to many couples practicing Tantra techniques.

What was amazing to me is that many of the 20th Century sexual discoveries are the same techniques Tantra has taught for 2000 years. For example the G-spot is nothing more than the Sacred Spot of Tantra and the newest CAT (Clitoral Alignment Technique) is also this old. But with our societys sexual repression, it has taken us much longer to learn about our sexuality than in ancient days.

Our Desire For Spiritual Partnership In A Significant Relationship
The free love days did not result in lasting fulfilling relationships since it was more me centered rather than you uplifting. The AIDS scare has further made lasting relationships more important. Couples today are looking for a commitment from each other, but a special kind of commitment - one that contains spiritual as well as a physical elements and emotional and psychological aspects as well as material ones.

Lets Help Create A We Generation
In biblical times, marriages were prearranged by fathers based on negotiating a marriage price and cultural factors which had nothing to do with the couple loving each other. In the 1940s war romanticized relationships at the same time it tore them apart. Then came the sexual revolution of the sixties and women claiming their right to their own sexual enjoyment of the seventies. The eighties, the post-sexual- revolution era, brought a time of personal freedom of the me generation. Now, as we approach the turning of another century, men and women want to face life together. This may be the start of the we generation, a generation that desires an end to the battle of the sexes and the beginning of a new form of relationship in which partners work together as a team to satisfy needs, uplift one another, and journey together toward personal growth and sexual and spiritual fulfillment.

We Seek A Passionate Partnership
The sparks of passionate love ignite in a new relationship. Passionate love makes your blood almost pulse inside you, makes you glow and you are drawn to each other like a magnet. This love expresses itself sexually; it is so nourishing you can’t get enough of one another.

Love is not necessarily blind, as Shakespeare claimed, but it is an altered state. Physicians tell us that, biochemically, love has many of the same exhilarating effects that amphetamines produce, but love is a natural high. The immune system can be strengthened by love; white blood cells perform better and we feel terrific!

But as time passes, this passionate love often diminishes because passion is an energy that depends on other energy for its survival. When love begins to stagnate, energy is directed elsewhere, sometimes in negative emotions and thoughts, or in work, sports etc. When couples lessen their lovemaking they begin the process of starving their love. Love is nourished by the sexual energy a couple generates. Tantra teaches how to create the spiritual energy of passion needed to sustain it.

A passionate partnership not only needs the nourishment sexual energy provides, it also needs maintenance as well as communications of what each partner needs in order to feel more loved emotionally, spiritually and sexually. This is the power of Tantra, that powerfully teaches techniques to keep the passionate partnership alive and nourished in all three areas of love.

True Intimacy: The Sexual Gap Between Men And Women
Many woman use the word intimacy to describe what is most important to them sexually. Sexual intimacy is a special kind of closeness, a communication that is deeper than the couple can achieve physically, a sharing that goes beyond material partnership. This profound connection is described by many women as a spiritual connection, or as the feeling of having found ones soulmate. Women relate it to the heart or the soul more than to the brain or the genitals, although when true sexual intimacy does occur, sexual passion is its by-product. When one becomes intimate one becomes passionate, excited, energized and turned on. A women is aroused, stirred deeply and physically.

But when intimacy is missing, when a women doesn’t make that special connection with her partner, she remains unsatisfied at a primal level because the need for intimacy is so deep. When intimacy is missing its hard for many women to feel passionate or to be satisfied sexually. Tantra teaches couples to relate on the deepest intimacy level and maintain that passion.

For most men intimacy conveys something very different - intercourse. But women know this seldom provides real intimacy, much less maximum sexual pleasure. Tantra teaches men how to enjoy deeper levels of intimacy and how to heal and stimulate a women sexually far more than through just intercourse.

The need for intimacy in sex is so basic to women, yet so foreign to most modern men who have never been trained in true intimacy and sex skills. But by nature and physically, women are sexual introverts; they contain their sexuality. Their sexual organs, their most sensitive places, are internal and protected. Women find it hard to speak out about their deepest sexual feelings.

Its far less difficult for men who are more extroverted. Quite simply, sex turns most men on. Sex makes them passionate. Men love sex. Men like women who like sex. They have never been taught or shown any other way; society teaches men sex, sex, sex thru tease and titillation, and then expects them to not fulfill these desires until marriage! Women want a heartfelt experience in love; most men want a glandular one.

10 Tips For Exciting Tantric Love Making

What is Heart-Tantra ?

Workshops, courses, retreats & private tuition for individuals and couples offering an experiential exploration of traditional Tantra from the East, together with therapeutic tools & processes from the West, to help facilitate holistic and ecstatic loving relationships, self-awareness, bliss & healing with each other and with nature.

What is Tantra ?

Tantra dates back over 8000 years and originated in India where it’s still practised today for expanding human consciousness and ecstatic states of bliss and peace. It’s a spiritual lifestyle that is grounded in simple embodied practices that return us to our natural state of inner freedom and divine love.

Literally translated from Sanskrit Tantra means "The weaving and expansion of energy". There are many different types of Tantra, each offering different principles and practices. HEART-TANTRA embraces the path of ‘WHITE TANTRA’. The teachings of white tantra in essence are that everything is rooted in the reality of Love, in all its forms and the highest being that of Divine Love. The whole universe IS love and that includes us. White Tantra offers a collection of practices, exercises and meditations that help us find our way back to experiencing ourselves AS love again, our natural state.

Tantra is becoming more popular in the West as people recognise a longing in themselves for more meaningful sexual/intimate/nourishing/spiritual connection in their lives.

However, it is often misunderstood. Some common speculations are that it involves partaking in acrobatic lovemaking positions and techniques as outlined in the Kama Sutra manual, or is a free-love cult, or a new age spiritual sex therapy from California. People often think that it involves wild naked orgies, boundaryless sexual exploration and 8 hour orgasms. . . .

We’d like to put the record straight from our perspective. . . . . .

Tantra is an approach to living our WHOLE life through the experience of Love.

From the sacred to the profane. It includes celebrating our sexuality but not just for the act of sexual loving. It embraces our sexual energy as the essential creative life force that is moving through us all the time. It offers a pathway that returns us to living in love, wholeness, bliss, vitality, harmony with ourselves, each other, nature and divine truth. Living in interconnectedness with everything and dissolving the illusion that we are separate.

In the West we often experience our heart, sex and spirit as separate from each other.

Tantra invites us to reunite them, to fully live in the sensual body, to embrace our vitality and passion as a doorway to total liberation. It invites us to trust our heart’s wisdom, to live in our authentic truth in every moment and to literally embody our divinity.

"HEART-TANTRA offers the transformation of fear into love"

At the core of us all is a longing to truly love and be loved. Because love is our essential nature.

Yet often we forget this simple truth. We grew up with conditionings and beliefs about who or how we ‘should’ be, with fear making our choices and shame holding us down. When love (rather than fear) is the guiding light in our lives, life changes in a profound way. We cease existing as victims of our own internal negative self-judgment and self rejections. It reminds us that we can choose love in each moment and it supports the process of healing from past experiences when we may not have been able to make choices we would have liked.

"BE . . . .the love you’re seeking"

If the love and acceptance we receive from another is an affirmation of the love and acceptance we ALREADY experience in our essential self, the ways in which we are able to share intimacy (into-me-see), vulnerability, heart and sexual loving transform into a divine celebration of abundant LOVE. It becomes like two full cups of water meeting and dancing in the overspill, rather than two half filled cups of water meeting and endlessly trying to fill each other up, in vain.

We often look to others to get love and acceptance, hoping they will love and accept us even though we don’t always love or accept ourselves. We then become dependent on their love in order to feel that we’re OK. Feeling constantly at their mercy for affirmation, living in fear that one day their love will stop flowing and that we’ll once again be back in the self-inflicted belief that we’re somehow not OK or worthy of love because, we have become disconnected from our OWN knowing of this truth. The foundation work is therefore about ‘Coming home to loving ourselves first’.

In Tantra the body is honoured as sacred ground - The temple of our Spirit - All life is rooted through the body. When we fully land in our bodies we can meet the divine in ourselves and others while staying connected to our humanity and grounded down to earthness.

. . . even though our minds may want to take us to thoughts of the future or memeories from the past. The body holds all of our experiences on a deep cellular level. When we allow this life force energy and our breath to flow freely through it in the PRESENT moment, we release what is held, deep healing happens and love once again flows effortlessly through us without our minds needing to understand. We return to the source and to breathing within love.

OUR DEFINITION OF TANTRIC SEX
Tantra does not judge and say that some kinds of sex are ‘right’ and some are ‘wrong’ it’s the CONTEXT that it’s happening in that’s important.
A way to describe it is like this: . . . . .
Imagine a hot tub filled with warm water and imagine that the hot tub represents the whole universe and the water it’s filled with is Divine Love. As long as the people exploring sexual loving are IN the tub and stay in the tub everything that happens will be a meeting of Divine truth and love. Even if the sex gets more ‘base’ in flavour the hot tub will keep connecting them back to the source of their own divinity.
When this is happening the illusion of our separation dissolves and the lovers and the Divine become one. Returning us to our natural essence, that of love. There is no more "I Love YOU " but only "we ARE Love" dancing in the infinite space together.

Tantric ritual

Tantra can be also practiced as a ritual. It can be deep and sacred ritual. It is union of love, oneness of souls. Tantra is meeting of human beings at all possible levels. Bodies, minds and hearts will all melt into together. Two will become one. When we become one with the other, we will at that moment become also one with the all that is. When we to other human being, we will join in into the universe.

Divine in us will join together. Shakti and Shiva, feminine and masculine energy will meet and dance together. They will melt together in deep union, and two opposites will become one. This is the highest union, Unio Mystica. 

Approach other person like manifestation of divinity. Approach other person while being manifestation of divinity yourself. Other partner will take the nature of Shakti, feminine energy, and other one will take nature of Shiva, masculine energy. If partners are of same gender, they can choose their roles in this ritual. Roles can be reversed, because every people include both sides in themselves.

Two opposites will create tension between them. That tension is flow of energy, our living energy. New life will be born in that encounter, when source of feminine and source of masculine energy dance together the dance of love. That encounter happens in the temple of our bodies. In tantric practice, sacred sex is the highest form of worship.

Our bodies are physical manifestations of divine; they are temples of our souls. When our bodies will become one, our souls will also become one. Divine that lives within us all will meet, and unite with all that is in cosmic union. That oneness is the highest form of worship, and the most beautiful prayer. That is sacred unity.

Preparations

Prepare your temple

All rituals will begin with the preparations. Sacred space is created with the intent, with preparations. We will create our own place of worship, stage of our encounter. We can make this place to the temple in which our encounter will happen. Choose peaceful and safe place for this. Arrange enough time for ritual, and take care that you will not be disturbed or interrupted in any way.

Decorate your temple beautifully. With colors and flowers, candles and fragrances you can create the atmosphere of beauty and sacredness. With flowers and candles you can decorate your altar that can be a bed or a bath. Add some beautiful and wordless music, and light fruit meal. Tantra is celebration of life; it is celebration of all senses.

Prepare your body

Wash and clean your body gently and lovingly. Clean your heart and mind at same time. Wash away all worries and sorrows. Let all thoughts and emotions be washed away with water. Wash away all conceptions and prejudices. Become once again pure and innocent. Become open and receiving.

Dress in light rope or dress that is only for this purpose. Now you are ready to meet your beloved. You are ready to meet divine face to face, being yourself. You are again pure and innocent.

Ritual of reverence

See divine in your partner, and feel it in yourself.

Meet each other openly and lovingly. See divine in each other, and feel it in yourself. Other person is Shakti/Shiva for you, cosmic Feminine/Masculinity. And you will be so to other one. Meet each other devotedly and reverently. This is sacred moment, meeting of divinities. Divine is in everything. It is in our partner, as it is also within us.

See other person as a manifestation of divine. Another person is cosmic Feminity/Masculinity for you. See divine in the eyes and whole being, feel it in the other. Feel it in yourself, for you are other side of this divinity. Experience it in yourself, be manifestation of Feminity/Masculinity.

Revere divinity in each other

Exchange gifts with each other. Give something beautiful, like a flower. You can also give something you have made yourself. Exchange gifts, and show your respect. Greet each other, and recognize true essence of yourselves. You will be cosmic divinity to each other. Greet each other; ‘Divine in me greets divine in you’

Share sacred meal together

Eat sacred meal together. Share a light fruit meal. Sit close to each other, touching gently, and feed each other. Serve each other, and your will serve divinity in yourself. Food is a gift. It is celebration of life. Bless food you eat, for this is Holy Communion of love.

Ritual of touch

Revere divinity with the touch

Use perfumed oil, and worship each other with your touch. Receiver one will lay down on the bed, and giver will touch her lovingly. Giver will massage and caress receiver gently and lovingly, spreading oil on the whole body.

Give all your love and reverence in your touch, and let it flow through your fingers. Let divine in you touch other one. Shakti/Shiva touches through your hands. Caress other one like you would caress divine itself. Love and worship the divinity with your hands, with your touch.

Receiver will accept that touch. When you receive in turn, relax, and let all tension disappear. Trust the touch of others, feel reverence and love in it. You are now safe and loved by divine. Shakti/Shiva is caressing and touching you now. Let the divine love you.

Change receiver and giver in turn. Both will revere and be revered.

Ritual of love

Worship with love, and awaken the fire

Love each other with your touch. Love with kisses and caresses. Love with your eyes and your voice. Love divine that other one is for you. Shiva loves his Shakti, and enters deep into the embrace of cosmic feminity. Shakti loves her Shiva, and embraces cosmic masculinity.

Look into the eyes, and see divine in each other. Caress each other bodies, and worship the beauty of them. We are all sacred and beaytiful. Body is our holy temple. See and experience this sacredness, this beauty in you and other one. Worship divine in your partner with your loving touch.

Awaken the fire within you. Awaken the passion and desire. River of life will flow between you. That energy will warm you, and make your bodies hotter. Enjoy that fire of life. And when you are ready, join together. Shiva enters inside of Shakti. Ask always permission for this, for you will enter into the most sacred place. Shiva will enter into the holy temple. When you join together, divine in you will join into the sacred embrace.

Ritual of union

Create union of souls

Sit in each others laps. Shakti will sit in the embrace of Shiva. Look each other deeply into the eyes. Breathe on the same rhythm. Begin to move together in same rhythm. Hold each others hands, lie back a bit, and begin to swing gently and lovingly, together.

Relax in the embrace of each other, moving slowly and gently. Keep inner fire burning with touching and loving. Let your bodies move on the same rhythm. Feel connection between you. Relax together in this loving embrace. Forget the end, forget the rest of world. There is only this embrace, this loving motion, this love. It is divine encounter of Shakti and Shiva. In this embrace you can spend all the time you want.

Dance of Divine

Dance together eternal dance of Shakti and Shiva

When you dance together, flow of your energy will grow and expand. You will be filled with the sacred river of life. That energy will seek way out, it wants to flow freely. You can feel it as tension in your bodies. Fire will burn in you in the brightest flame. At that moment is time for the universal dance of Shiva and Shakti.

Make love consciously, being present. Other partner is manifestation of Shiva, and will enter deep into the being of other one. Be active energy that flows into the other. Give all your energy to your partner; let it flow freely into other one. Touch consciously, touch divine Shakti, and immerse yourself into the embrace of feminity. Give everything to that embrace, give it your whole being. Dive deeper into the embrace of love.

And Shakti will receive Shiva. Embrace other one as whole being. Take other one into yourself, into your heart, straight into your essence. Be loved by divine, and embrace divine within yourself, take it all into your being. Your partner will be immersed into you, and will dive deep into the depths of your being. Be divine Shakti, all feminity, and embrace Shiva, all masculinity, with your whole being.

When your energies will rise to the top, and you feel need of release, then shift directions. Now other one will be the Giver, Shiva, masculine energy that will flow and enter into the being of other. And now other one will be Shakti, all embracing divinity, all feminine energy. Energy transforms and assumes new form. Energy changes its direction between you. Opposite forces will shift their positions. Go on like this, and when energy will again rise to the top, shift again directions.

This is how Shakti and Shiva dance together. They flow into the other, and become to other one. Nature of energy changes. It will begin to circle between you. It will grow in strength. Energy of life will create connection between you, and it will build a bridge between your hearts. It will connect two bodies into shared flow of energy. And it will melt them together.

At that moment you can feel oneness. Energy, power of life, flows now freely between you. You will share same living energy, same flow of energy. And when that embrace transforms your energies, follow along it. Let it flow through you as wild force. Let it make you shake and tremble you. Shout out your passion in this ecstasy. Let your body move freely, and surrender to this eternal flow.

Stay on that moment forever. Dance together this dance of love and life. Bathe on that sacred energy, enjoy the flow of oneness. Let your bodies dance together. Let the power flow through you, and lift you up into the new heights. In this kind of embrace, gates of paradise will open to you. You will feel true union between you. You will become one with all that is. This is cosmic union, Mystical Union.

This is sacred sex, meditation of love.
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In the end, rest at each others embrace. Caress gently, and enjoy afterglow and harmony. Feel glow of love and connection between you. In this embrace of love you can feel peace and safety.

Final words

These rituals can be developed and changed to fit your own needs. You can do them even for whole day. You can also create your own rituals. Ritual that happens every time will help you find the experience of tantra every time you do them.

Emotion Tantra

Emotion Tantra

Tantra can be approached through the heart. You can walk on the path of love, and follow your feelings. Love will bring you into the tantric experience easily and naturally. This is the way of love and heart.

Tantra is a natural experience. We can find it easily when we go deeper into love, and surrender to the power of emotion. Deep love making, and surrendering ourselves to love, will bring us into the deepest union with our partner. We become one, and we will dance together in love, and experience the bliss of Tantra, bliss of total oneness. This is a heart’s way into Tantra.

Touch of love

Feel every touch as love

Love is a key into all hearts. Love is a path that will take us directly into the heart of Tantra. Love creates a bridge between hearts, love is a power that joins people together. Love will bring us into the union easily and naturally. Surrender to love, and let it take you to the very end. It will take you into the union with other, and with the whole universe.

Begin with loving. Touch your companion lovingly. Feel love in your touch. Love other one with all your heart, let all your love pour into your hands, so that your hand becomes love itself, and your every touch is pure love. Kiss with the lips of love, and give your entire love through your lips. Your kisses are love itself. Feel your love to another being. Touch gently and lovingly. Let your love flow through your hands and your whole body, and pour it all into the other one.

Everything in you loves other one. Love with your eyes, so that your eyes will cares other one lovingly. Speak words of love, and let your love be heard in your voice. Pour your entire love into your voice, and speak lovingly, caressing other one by sound of your voice. Love other person with your entire heart, with your entire body, with your entire being.

Receive love other on in turn. Every touch of your companion is love, every kiss is love itself. Receive it all, and surrender to that love. Enjoy love of your companion, enjoy loving embrace and every touch. Let other person love you totally and unconditionally. Let other one embrace you with love. Let this love flow straight into your heart. Receive it all into yourself.

Go together deeper into this experience of love. Love and caress each other. Give and receive pure love. Embrace each other with your love. This is giving and receiving of highest order. This is sharing of hearts, sharing of love. Loving together that feeling, that experience will expand and grow. Love will take you directly from heart to heart. Dive deep into that river of love, melt into it, and let it take you to the ocean of love.

Love will open you the door of oneness. Go together through that door, hand in hand.

Embrace of love

Rest in this loving embrace

River of love will take you away. It will carry you deeper into heart and love, and ever deeper into to union. Stay in that river. Relax and rest in that loving embrace, surrender to each other, and feeling of love. Forget the end. Focus only to this moment, to this love. Deep union will need time. Hearts will need time to open up totally and completely. Your energy needs time for develop and grow.

Love will take you into deeper union, where time will stop completely. You can make love on and on, staying on that moment, keeping in the river of love. Love makes you to stay on this moment. Direct your awareness only to pure love. Concentrate to the beginning, to the moment of loving, to creation of union. Rest on this loving embrace, and dance together dance of love, slowly and gently. At that moment you will step from the time to the eternity. You can make this moment eternal, and make it to go on and on forever.

Love will help you to relax and open your heart to each other. You can make love for hours, resting on this loving embrace. Moving slowly, loving with whole heart. Giving and receiving love, and staying in the river of love. That river will finally carry you into the ocean. It will take you into the union, into the oneness. It will take you to the real experience of Tantra.

Union of love

Tremble in this loving embrace

When our hearts finally open totally to each other, when love flows freely from one into another, then nature of love making will change. You energy, your love will form a circle between each of you. It will begin to flow from body to body, from heart to heart. It will expand and grow, and unite you to the one. Let that energy, that power, flow through you. Feel that flow, and surrender to it completely.

That energy will make your bodies tremble in the river of love. Incredible energy will flow through you, and makes your bodies tremble together. Let that energy vibrate in your being, let it take you to the experience of ultimate bliss. When your hearts and bodies tremble on same rhythm, from same power, then you will become one. Melt into vibrations of love, into the river of live. Melt into the each other, and become one.

Love flows from heart to heart, joining you together as one. Surrender together to the bliss of loving. That love is base of all life. That flow will refresh and complete you. It will lift you up to the new heights of bliss and love. Together you can experience the bliss of total oneness.