Tantric Lovemaking and Intimacy

Tantra is a spiritual science from ancient India and in its basic essence, very similar to Taoism from China. Both involve balancing the male and female energies to create harmony and have an ultimate goal of unity or spiritual ecstasy, known as enlightenment. Tantra encourages one to explore every aspect of life. So obviously the study of sexuality was included, not only included but in fact revered.

Making love was seen as a gift to God. So there was no repression or guilt attached to sex. It taught that when a man approaches his beloved he should have a sacred feeling as if he were going into a temple. The art of sexual love was the noblest of arts to study. As a young person in ancient India you could go to the sacred temples and be taught lovemaking secrets by Darkas and Darkinis, the priests and priestesses of love. The study of sexuality in the west is very new, whereas relics of Tantric rituals date back nearly five thousand years. So there is an incredible wealth of knowledge we can draw on and use in our own lovemaking.

Tantric lovemaking can add to the ways you make love in three major areas: Firstly: It gives you ways to reach heightened states of ecstasy and pleasure beyond the realms of normal sex.

Secondly, it teaches you ways to open to more love so that your heart opens even more to your partner and you remember how great it feels to be deeply, passionately "in love."

Thirdly, it teaches Sacred Sex — ways to transform your lovemaking into a sacred experience which will touch you on every level of your being, body, heart and soul.

A male can increase and expand the amount of ecstasy he can have and at the same time increase the length of time he is able to make love so that his partner has a chance of reaching higher states. Ejaculation control is an essential skill to master so that during lovemaking, instead of ejaculating at the first peak of energy which a lot of men do, they can learn instead to peak with that energy and use techniques to spread that energy throughout the entire body. Then as the urgency for ejaculation subsides, continue to make love again until reaching another peak - much higher than the first peak and then he can use techniques to peak and spread the energy again. As he Continues to do this, reaching higher and higher peaks of ecstasy and at the same time his beloved is feeling that energy and is being warmed up to higher orgasmic states.

In Taoist sexuality writings they say, the woman is like water and the man is like fire. What normally happens is the water puts out the fire too quickly, the man is left exhausted and the woman is frustrated. They say there are in fact nine levels of a woman’s orgasm, nine levels that she goes through before she’s fully nourished sexually before her Shakti, her sexual spiritual energy is fully awakened. Most women have their first orgasm at level four; the man ejaculates and the other five levels are rarely reached. We as conscious men, as extraordinary lovers need to be able to make love as long as necessary to satisfy our woman and at the same time reach higher orgasmic states ourselves.

There are two exercises, two techniques that will help with ejaculation control. One is P.C. Muscle exercises and the other is the breath.

These exercises are also beneficial for women to extend their orgasmic response, taking more pleasure for herself and to give more pleasure to her partner. The P.C. muscle is the major muscle of contraction in both sexes for orgasm, so strengthening it increases sensations of pleasure.

The P.C. muscle extends from the base of the spine where it is connected to the coccyx, to the front of the body where it is connected to the pubic bone.

A good way to locate the P.C. or love muscle for yourself is that next time you are urinating try to stop the flow of urination in mid stream. This will give you the feeling of activating the muscle. Then later on in your own private space practice tensing and releasing the muscle several times so that you get the sense of how to do it you can know. It is a good idea to incorporate these P.C. Muscle exercises into your daily routine, associating them with some particular activity you do independent of your lovemaking sessions. Then these exercises will become habitual and you won’t have to set aside a special time to practice. For example you can practice while you drive or travel too and from work. No one will know you are doing it and it can be quite enjoyable. One of our friends in fact, Helen said she started doing this every day for a month while driving to work but unfortunately she had to stop because she said the sensations were getting so strong that she couldn’t concentrate at work because she couldn’t think about anything else at work other than sex and she couldn’t wait to get home to her lover.

And once a man has a strong P/C he can spread the sexual energy up and through his body during lovemaking so he can experience wave after wave of peak pleasure without coming so that he can make love for as long as he chooses, maybe even hours!

Another secret is working with your breath. What most men do as excitement builds up is hold their breath as they get close to climax. If men are to reverse the flow of sexual energy the best way is to breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically.

For women to enhance your own ecstasy you can us the P.C. Muscle and breath exercise also. You can do this at peaks of energy to spread the orgasmic energy throughout the body. Another way you can enhance your pleasure is to mentally trace or visualize the energy running up the inside of the legs through the calf, the knees and thighs up into the vagina. This is especially good to do if the mind is wondering off onto other things while making love; it helps focus the energy.

Some women need to focus it rather than to spread it and this can amplify the orgasmic response you already have and is especially good for women who find orgasm elusive. What you do is to keep squeezing the P.C. Muscles without spreading the energy. To squeeze the muscles and to feel the charge building up and keep squeezing the P.C. again. It is important to release and bear down as well; this also acts as a focus. Playing with these elements of breath, P.C. Muscle, visualization, as well as movement and sound you can extend your orgasmic potential to one, two, three or even more orgasms. All women are capable of extending their orgasmic potential. The woman’s Shakti is unlimited. The Shakti is the sexual spiritual energy of which women are the custodians. As the Shakti awakens so does the priestess, the healer, the empowerer and the goddess of love within.

A woman’s sexual awakening can propel her on a spiritual path. Men may practice celibacy and achieve spiritual enlightenment, but according to the Tantric texts women’s enlightenment is facilitated by the electric charge of her orgasmic nature.

The next important element is the heart. A lot of people have coined the term, ‘Making love’ whenever they have sex but to me making love is a higher vibration a unique blending of your sexual passion, the heat of your genitals with the deep love and intimacy you feel in your heart. Men who are able to feel their love and share their deep feelings will never have any shortage of women in their lives. The challenge becomes how much love and deep intimacy both partners can bring into lovemaking and a great secret for you to know is the way to a woman’s sexuality opening up, the way to her shakti, her sacred place is through the heart. So how can we bring more intimacy into our lovemaking, more heart connection?

Well one way to create more intimacy is through eye contact, we often shut our eyes while making love and go into our own space which can be really nice of course, but to be more intimate look at your beloved a lot more while making love. Your eyes are the window to the soul, look into each other’s eyes and tell each other how much you love each other, how much you enjoy being with them, how precious they are to you and that’s the second thing you can do to create more intimacy. Talk to your beloved while making love. Tell them what your thoughts are: "I love you. Your fragrance is like jasmine/musk, you make me feel so good." This is very powerful to create more intimacy.

Another thing you can incorporate into your lovemaking for more intimacy is romance. Romance is an important ingredient to encourage intimacy, an atmosphere of romance is always conducive to higher lovemaking experiences and women dearly love it. So in creating the atmosphere see yourself as a great lover and let your creative self step out of the ordinary and create something out of the ordinary and create something magical, something extraordinary.

You can include things like creating a special time where everything else is left looked after, a special time where you won’t be interrupted and a special space for making love. Maybe not even in the bedroom, maybe going to a different place altogether but make it very special. Prepare the room and prepare each other, bathe together, towel each other down. Use things like massage, candle light, incense, special treats to eat and drink, romance is foreplay to a woman and brings a male in touch with his softer side.

So as a man if you want more lovemaking you then learn to be more intimate because the way to a woman’s sacred place, the way to her yoni is through the heart - through intimacy. Intimacy means In-To-Me-See. Allow yourself to be seen, create more intimacy, and allow your inner feelings to be expressed.

Women can interpret any lack of intimacy as coldness and the colder she feels you are in the heart, the colder she becomes in the yoni. So what happens is she doesn’t want to make love she shuts down her sexuality and that’s usually because she’s not getting enough attention, enough intimacy through the day or through the relationship and because she shuts down her yoni he starts to close down his heart. He shuts down intimacy. She then further shuts down yoni and it goes on and if it continues long enough then a couple caught in this cycle may be headed for separation.

Once you’re aware of the fact that she is coming from the heart and what she wants is intimacy, romance, and she becomes aware that as she keeps shutting down sex she’s never going to get his intimacy, he can do something about it. Being in touch with your heart and how much love you can feel is a wonderful aspect of Tantric lovemaking secrets.

Next time you’re making love stop in the middle of your lovemaking, stop the movement and just ask yourself how much love are you feeling right now and open up your heart and try to feel more of the intimacy, more of the love that the two of you are generating between you.

The third aspect of Tantric lovemaking is Sacred Sex. Tantric lovemaking can be a spiritual practice. In ancient India lovemaking was seen as a way to god. When I tell some people that we use lovemaking in our relationship as part of your spiritual practice they are often shocked. So I ask them what their practices are and they often say either meditation or prayer. Well both meditation and prayer can be brought into your lovemaking and it’s much more fun that way.

If you love sex and you like mediation or you would like to incorporate meditation into your life then you will love this practice.

One practice of tantric lovemaking as a mediation I to sit opposite your partner, close your eyes, and imagine energy moving up your spine on the inhalation with the squeezing of the P.C muscle, and down the spine with the exhalation and releasing of the P.C.

Continue this practice for several minutes and then open your eyes, co-ordinate your breathing with your partner. Then start to exchange energy. As you release the energy down your spine imagine it passing through your genitals to your beloved’s sacred parts, then moving up to their heart centre in the middle of their chest.

On the inhalation contract the P.C muscle and imagine the energy that is now mixed with your partners coming back to you through the same way. Practice this also while making love or kissing. After five or 10 minutes of doing this practice called ‘Red Tantra’ you often get a sense of merging into your partner, a sense of expanding consciousness, of melting into the cosmos.

Eastern religions would call this a state of samadi or bliss. You may have had experiences like this during lovemaking but didn’t know how it happened or how to experience it again. Through the practices of ‘Red Tantra’ you can reach this state at will.

These are only a few techniques of tantric lovemaking, there are over 2,000 years of tantric lovemaking secrets and practices that you can explore to expand the already wonderful ways you make love. Practicing Tantra as a couple can be a journey into love to explore together brining more love, joy and passion to a relationship. Using Tantra as a meditation focuses the mind on the present moment connecting the spirit with the cosmos and the eternal now.

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

THE ROMANTIC TANTRIC DATE NIGHT

We can teach you how to have a romantic, sensual and very sexy date with each other, so that you can take full advantage of this magnificently appointed room. We call it the Romantic Tantric Date Night and once you have learned how to create this experience for yourselves, you will be able to recreate it over and over again. In fact, we recommend that you have a weekly date night dedicated to igniting, and delving as deeply as possible into, the love and passion in your relationship.

A Tantric Romantic Date Night is a long, lovely time spent together in which your attention is very focused on each other from a place of appreciation, honoring, love, and, yes, even adoration. It is a womb in time and space that the couple creates in order to cultivate the sacredness and specialness in their relationship by taking the time to acknowledge and nurture it further. It is a time of deep sharing - emotional, sensual, sexual and spiritual. It begins with winding down and relaxing and moves from there into emotional intimacy, the sacred heart space, sensuality and finally to sexuality. Each step becomes a doorway into the next by providing the foundation for it.

There are four different ways we can provide you with the knowledge and the skills to have a Tantric romantic date night. They are all excellent but our favorite, and the one we most highly recommend, is the Guided Romantic Date Night Experience. We will first list the four options and then describe each, beginning with the shortest session and leading to the longest, and our favorite, session.

FOUR TANTRIC ROMANTIC DATE NIGHT OPTIONS
TO ENHANCE YOUR STAY - AND YOUR LIFE

1. How to Create the Kind of Emotional Intimacy that Leads to Sexual Intimacy & Passion. A short coaching session (1 to 1 1/2 hours)

2. Introduction to Tantra and a Tantric Puja for Two (1 1/2 to 3 hours)

3. A Mini Workshop Experience (3 to 4 hours)

4. A Guided Tantric Romantic Date Night experience (4 to 6 hours)

1. HOW TO CREATE THE KIND OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY THAT LEADS TO SEXUAL INTIMACY & PASSION. A SHORT COACHING SESSION (1 to 1 1/2 hours)

There are three parts to this short but very potent session.

Step One - Creating Collaboration
Any positive improvements in the intimacy in your relationship will more easily be derived if you establish a collaborative team relationship to bring this about. We will give you some idea of what this will involve for you. We will also describe to you the understanding and attitude towards love that you need to share if you are to collaborate to up-level the emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship and take it as high as you can.

Step Two - Learning the art of Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

We are not taught the language and concepts involved in creating emotional and sexual intimacy. We know that if we are to be successful in our work-life that we need to become experts in what we do and have the capacity to think and talk in the constructs that describe our work. Relationship requires the same level of expertise and yet we do not develop it because it is considered to be something that comes naturally. It would come naturally if our parents and society were excellent role models but that is not the case. Thus, most us stumble about doing the best that we can, but the lack of joy and fulfillment that we typically experience in our relationships attests to the fact that the best is not necessarily good enough to give us the gratification that we long for in relationship. In order to develop emotional intimacy we need to be aware of what is going on in us and be articulate enough to express it. We need to have the emotional honesty share this with our partner and the communicate skills to do so in a way that our partner can hear us without upset. We need to be aware of the attitudes and emotional blocks that get in the way of our emotional intimacy and sexual passions and know how to develop the skills to transform these.

In this segment of the session, we will show you what to do to go deeper into yourselves and to begin to understand and transform the dynamics of your relationship. You will also learn how collaborate together in developing more satisfying and exciting sexual skills. We will direct you towards the resources that you can use that will help you develop these skills and advise you how to use them.

Step Three - The Tantric Romantic Date Night
This could be a date night or a date day - or both. In this, the longet segment of the session, we will explain to you the importance of the Tantric Date night and how to conduct such a night. This is an overview in which we will explain how to sequence the evening and describe many of the options and activities but you would not experience them. We will provide you with a list of all the resources that you will need.

2. INTRODUCTION TO TANTRA AND A TANTRIC PUJA FOR TWO (1 1/2 to3 hours)

We will begin by learning a little about the two of you and about your relationship and will give you whatever insights we get about how to take your relationship to the next level and bring more depth and passion into your relationship. We have helped many in this way, and may be able to help you.

We will give you an overview of some of the keys to Tantra and Sacred Sexuality. The keys we give you will prepare you for the Tantric Puja you will do and your night of love-making.
The Tantric Puja will be a one and a half to two hour experience.
A Couple’s Tantric Puja is a series of Tantric rituals all of which are completed by the one couple for the purpose of building and honouring their divine union and celebrating their sacred sexuality.

The Tantric Puja focuses on:
* Establishing the sacred heart space
* Connecting from a place of powerful, heart connected presence
* Following your partner’s energy and attuning to them
* Initiating the experience of sensual Tantric Touch
* Running sexual energy and connecting it with spiritual energy - your own and your partners
* Sex magic for manifesting your desires

3. ROMANCING YOUR RELATIONSHIP: HOW TO CREATE LASTING INTIMACY, PASSION AND PLEASURE - A COACHING/WORKSHOP COMBINATION FOR COUPLES IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS (3 to 4 hours)

We come together in great love. We conjoin and wear the ring of our undying commitment. We begin to feel safe. We no longer have to be on our best behaviour. Our standards fall. We find that our partner’s apparent best interest is not the same as our best interest and soon a power battle, whether low-keyed or high keyed, ensues and we become not only each other’s primary companion but intimate enemies. Familiarity dampens the flames of hot love and our times of love get further and further apart. We still care but are disappointed with what we created out of the material of the union of our loves and lives.

Is it possible to go back and recreate fresh love and reignite hot passion, in each case better than ever before. We say yes. It is possible to do so. We will help you move into the mental, emotional and spiritual places that form the foundation of such a reality. We will direct you to resources that will help you to continue the job after the workshop is over. We will provide you with the concepts and languaging that will provide you with the mental awareness and tools to recreate yourselves. We will provide optional personal counselling for your unique relationship issues. We will provide other educational and transformational relationship experiences to take you to the next level.

Agenda

In 3 or 4 hours you will be given powerful tools to help you bring back the warm glow of romance that brought you together in the first place.

You will learn how to replace habits of relating may have doused the flame with daily patterns of romance renewal that enhance passion.

Learn positive communication styles that allow both partners to feel heard, validated and understood.

Learn how to share difficult truths in a healthy way.

Learn how to make each other right, even when you don’t agree.

Discover how clearing these emotional and communication issues can open the way to reawakening levels of passion you had almost forgotten were possible
.
How to overcome the negative impact of familiarity and turn it into a plus.

How to create sacredness and specialness in your long term relationship

Understanding the psychological dynamics in relationship and how to handle them
Creating a collaborative team to manifest a more conscious, loving, turn-on relationship.

Re-visioning your relationship.

Building intimacy and turn-on by up-leveling the emotional honesty in your relationship.

Communication skills that increase the amount of respect, understanding, and win-win in your relationship.

How to have a fabulous date night that leads from relaxation, to emotional intimacy, sensuality and passion.

4. A GUIDED TANTRIC ROMANTIC DATE NIGHT EXPERIENCE (4 to 8 hours)

The Guided Experience will begin with the short coaching session on How to Create the Kind of Emotional Intimacy that Leads to Sexual Intimacy and Passion. We will then guide the Tantric Date Night Experience for you, taking you through all of the phases of the Tantric date night, until it became appropriate for us to leave you, a point that would be decided on in consultation with you. It would begin with us explaining to you the importance of the Tantric Date night and how to conduct such a night. We will choreograph for you the perfect seduction. We believe that the perfect seduction derives from being in a space of powerful, heart-centered presence with each other, in which you honor and appreciate the beauty that you find in each other, and from opening to fresh, new experiences that take you deeper into emotional and sexual intimacy. We will help you bring into your relationship the quality of attention, appreciation and excitement that you normally only associate with the novelty of a new love. We will guide you into experiences of deep sharing. This openness will build the trust between you. Out of this openness and trust, intimacy will develop. Intimacy is the foundation of love. We will cement this intimacy by taking you into what we call the Sacred Heart Space and bring you into an experience of soul communion with each other. We will then guide you into experiences of sensual connection that may include sensual dancing, a sensual shower, a Sensory Banquet, a sensual massage. We will teach you some Tantric Touch which is a way of touching which is truly exquisite to both the giver and receiver and which tantalizes and builds orgasmic energy. We can include an hour long Tantric Puja for two to bring you to a high space of love and sexual energy connection. We will then leave you to enjoy the love and give full expression to the desire you have ignited.

How we guide this experience would vary according to your desires. Where appropriate, we can role-model how to do a certain activity and then leave you to share the experience privately, even if it is a verbal sharing. If this is the choice you make, we would be on-call for you if you desired our support. Alternatively, we can be present, as unobtrusively as you wish us to be, and give you guidance and feed-back when required.

What this guided experience would include would not always be the same. We can design the Tantric romantic date night for you based on our instincts of what would provide the best experience for you and the amount of time you wish to allot to this. This session can last from four hours to 8 hours.

Current Affairs | Comment (1)

The Tantric Experience

FOR RELATIONSHIP, SPIRITUAL AND
SEXUAL ENHANCEMENT

Tantric Coaching is available both to those who wish to learn Tantra without staying at our San Diego Bed & Breakfast and to those who wish to be our guests there. Either way, almost all that is written below will be relevant to you.

A Unique Opportunity! The Option of
Private Tantric Coaching at Your San Diego Tantric Bed & Breakfast

Some of you may wish to be left to your own devices to explore the pleasure possible with the resources that we have supplied you with. Others may prefer to have some time with us, and through doing so to learn to operate at new level in the arena of your emotional intimacy and sexual passion. There are two ways you can do this. The first is through our Tantric Romantic Date Night offerings. The second is to receive coaching in Tantra and the art of Sacred Sexuality. Our Tantric sessions would be approximately three hours – and you can do more than one or can do a longer session (4 or 5 hours). We would time these sessions so as to ensure that you had plenty of time to spend alone. A choice of morning, afternoon or evening sessions are provided.

Whether you are in a long term relationship, and want to re-romance your relationship, or are in the honeymoon stage of your relationship (or have a honeymoon in mind), we will provide a perfect environment for love-making and romance. If you wish, you may also get expert private Tantric coaching on how to bring romance into your relationship or on the Tantric consciousness and sexual skills that better enable you to experience that “in love” feeling and juicy sexual passion.

A TANTRA SESSION IN THE ARTS OF SACRED SEXUALITY

There are a number of ways in which we can enhance your stay while providing you with new skills and the consciousness to up-level the emotional intimacy and sexual excitement and fulfillment in your relationship. Here are four.

Whether you feel confident and satisfied with your love life or are disappointed that the sexual area of your relationship has not realized more of its potential, we can help you to improve the emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship, and to learn Tantra, the art of sacred sexuality.

If you are a couple considering or seeking Tantric coaching, the coaching you will receive will vary according to the reason you are seeking it.

FOUR REASONS COUPLES SEEK TANTRIC COACHING:

1. To inspire freshness and newness in an old love.
Committed couples who don’t feel as hot for each other as they once did and who want to bring a new level of passion, emotional connection and sexual fire to their love-making, do well to explore finding it through Tantra. Tantra moves out of the arena of the personality and into the arena of the soul connection – where you originally met and fell in love. Through Tantra, you can learn to take a vacation from the personality issues that trigger and separate you and to greet and honor the high being that is still there, despite the ups and downs of life. If you wish we can also help guide you in identifying your core issues and resolving them. Or we can simply help you build up a rich heritage of sacred love experiences that will enable you to know who each other is on the spiritual level in the tough and painful times of conflict. We can teach you to bring new interest and variety into your sexual relationship by teaching you how to access and bridge the sacred and the erotic in your relationship and through incorporating new sexual skills such as those we describe below.

2. You want to take a sexually satisfying and emotionally gratifying relationship to new heights by becoming Tantric. You are turned on sexually and want to take your connection to the highest sexual and spiritual level. You want such things as extended love making through ejaculation mastery, more orgasmic responsiveness, & slow, sensual play with multiple plateaus and orgasmic peaks. You want to learn from us but want to focus on yourselves.

3. You want to socialize and interact with us as a way of learning Tantra.
As in above, you want to take a sexually satisfying and emotionally gratifying relationship to new heights by becoming Tantric. However, you not only want to learn from us, you want to have the experience of socializing and interacting with us.

4. You are seeking a magical, sensual, erotic, one of a kind, experience to juice up your life together. You like to bring new and wonderful, or fascinating and risqué, experiences into your relationship and sex life and want us to provide you such an experience. The focus of this session would be on your pleasure rather than your learning, although both would take place.  We will give you a menu of possible experiences and design a program to bring you the maximum delight. Or, if you would like, we will surprise you.

FIVE WAYS WE CAN TEACH YOU TANTRA

When we become your Tantric coaches, there are five ways in which we can teach you Tantra. If your primary desire is to learn the ways of sacred sexuality and to actualize your sexual and spiritual potential, then you will have identified your reason for seeing us as being one of the first three reasons for seeking coaching,  and one of the first three ways of teaching, mentioned below, will be suitable for you. Naturally the sessions will be profoundly pleasurable but the focus will be on providing you with the consciousness and skills that will not only enhance your stay with us but which will enhance your sexual and love life after you leave and for the rest of your life. If you are primarily looking for a sensual, Tantric experience to spice up your love life in the now, you will have identified your reason for seeing us as number four and will be more interested in option four. Naturally, you will probably leave with new awareness and possibly new skills but this will not be the focus.

You can choose from among the following:

1. A session or sessions from our program. You can do one or more Tantric sessions from among the Tantric sessions described in the attached Couples Tantric Program.

2. A unique session or sessions for you. You can do one or more Tantric sessions, which we will design to meet your particular needs, interests, time constraints and budget. Reading the program description below may help in defining your needs.

3. Doing it all. You can be initiated into all of the Tantric teachings listed in the Couples Tantric Program.

4. An erotic or fantasy session. We can create a one session Tantric experience that would be suitable to you if you were a couple who wanted a magical, sensual, erotic, one of a kind, experience to juice up your life together. The focus of this session would be on your pleasure rather than your learning, although both would take place.

5. A program based on an indepth assessment of you and your relationship.
You can present us with the fundamental issues that are challenging your relationship, both emotionally and sexually, give us some idea of where your special interests lie with regard to the Tantric coaching options for couples that we have outlined, and then place yourselves in our hands to develop a program that we feel will most benefit you. This will involve us either doing an in depth telephone interview with you, or sending you a extensive questionnaire, aimed at finding out what we need to know to work with you most effectively and spending considerable time, prior to your arrival, reading, analyzing and discussing your answers and establishing a game-plan for your serving you both delightfully and effectively. In our opinion this will be the most effective choice that you can make.

We bet that you would like a menu of what we have to offer and if you click on the links below you will get just that. We have broken up the content of our teachings into a possible twelve seven sessions, most of which are about three hours each. If there is something that you wish to learn or experience that you do not find on our menu, feel free to ask if we can provide it. There may be things that we have not mentioned that are within our expertise but we simply did not think to include them.

The sessions below would present an ideal menu if you were to cover all that we have to offer in Tantra. However, they are not intended to be cast in stone and you can pick and choose from the different sessions to create a single session or a series of sessions that most represent your desires and needs. Thus, this menu is above all intended to show you the full range of choices available to you. If you let us know about your desires and needs, we will be happy to assist you in designing a program that will be optimal in meeting them.

---

COUPLES TANTRIC PROGRAM

Pre-requisites for Successful Tantric Sessions

The description of the individual sessions is intended to give you an idea of what could be endeavored in any one three hour session. However, there are some pre-requistes that need to be fulfilled in order to ensure the success of your Tantric training with us. For more information, please click here.

• Previous sessions have provided the skill foundation for that session.
• Deep psychological or relationship issues are not blocking the flow of sexual energy between the couple or commandeering the time and energy of the session. If this is or becomes a factor, it will need to be addressed either in the opening session or whenever it arises. It would be advisable to inform us of anything you are aware of along these lines when telling us about yourselves.
• Un-addressed sexual abuse issues, identified or not, are not in the way.
• No medical problems or prescription drugs are thwarting the natural physical response.
  The couple, or one member of the couple, does not find that they have other competing agendas that take over the focus of the session.
• The couple trusts us enough to relax and open up to us in the intimate realms we are exploring. This is facilitated by discussion with both partners over the phone prior to arrival and the telephone interview. It also involves a sincere desire to learn what we have to teach you, a decision by each to open up to us and let us feel your hearts, and a mental attitude conducive to enjoying us and having a wonderful time during your stay with us . It is in the heart centered place that Tantra is best learned. It is only by being there that you truly authorize us to guide you and do our transformative work.

Session One
Introduction to each other, Tantra, Your Relationship, the Sacred Heart Space, and Aphrodisiacs

Session Two
The Sacred Heart Space, Being in Full and Appreciative Presence with Each Other, and Teaching Your Partner How To Please You.    Option of a Tantric Puja

Session Three
Tantric Touch and Sensual Massage

Session Four (This is 2 sessions if done in sequence instead of simultaneously)
Full Body Orgasm, Female Ejaculation, Male Ejaculation Mastery
·Female Orgasm and Female Ejaculation (for the woman - with Steven)
·Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm (for the man - withTanya)

Session Five
Tantric Orgasm

Session Six
Ecstatic Sexual States in Intercourse and Sexual Energy Circuits

Session Seven
Kama Sutra and Sex Magic

Session Eight
Romancing Your Relationship: How to Create the Kind of Emotional Intimacy that Leads to Sexual Intimacy and Passion (Includes information on The Romantic Tantric Date Night)

Session Nine
The Tantric Romantic Date Night

Session Ten
The Tantric Romantic Date Night Tantric Puja

Session Eleven
Creating the Ambiance for Love-making (A shorter session)

Session Twelve
TantraTurnOn

Session One
Introduction to each other, Tantra, Your Relationship, the Sacred Heart Space and Aphrodisiacs.
This session would be included in any extensive program, and especially a weekend program or series of sessions. Its length would be determined by the time needed to discuss the relationship and sexual issues. It could be as short as an hour and as long as three hours. It could include the segment on the Sacred Heart Space, described in Session Two below, in which case it would definitely be a three hour session, or this could be a separate session. The Sacred Heart Space would be included in a separate session, if the relationship issues required too much attention to include it in the first session or if the couple wished to combine the Sacred Heart Space with either a Tantric Puja or an introductory training session on teaching your partner how to please you when pleasuring you. ) Included in this session would be the following topics:
Introductions to each other.
Discussing relationship and sexual issues. When necessary, and with your agreement, counseling and therapeutic work will be provided re relationship issues.
Desires, concerns, and boundaries.
Introduction to Tantra. The pre-requisites, and goal, of Tantra.
The Sacred Heart Space (If not included here, session two would be required.)

Introduction to aphrodisiacs (for those staying at our Tantric bed and breakfast).

Session Two
The Sacred Heart Space
Being in Full and Appreciative Presence with Each Other
Teaching Your Partner How To Please You
Do you ever move into a soft, mutually loving place based on respect, honoring and cherishing and just pour your love all over each other? Do you ever move from that space into sex, so that your love and sex are combined from the place of adult equals who adore each other? Would you like us to teach you to get to that space in a way that is compatible with a high level of erotic turn-on?

Teaching others to be in the Sacred Heart Space is one of our specialties. To be in the Sacred Heart Space means to be in a place of powerful, heart connected presence with each other and to see, honor and enjoy the inner beauty in each other. It means knowing how to move from there into the sensual and sexual and experiencing how this can intensify rather than diffuse the sexual turn-on. If you would like it, we would love to take you there.

Our teaching of the Sacred Heart Space is experiential and takes about an hour to an hour and a half of focused time. The second half of the session can take one of two turns. It can be an experiential training in how to give your partner feedback on what you are experiencing in a sensual or sexual experience and to do it in a way that supports their feelings about themselves as your lover. Another option is to extend the focus on the Sacred Hear Space with a puja experience (explained below) which introduces you not only to the Sacred Heart Space but to many of the aspects of Tantra. In fact, if you can do only one thing, you might consider doing that.

Session Three
Tantric Touch and Sensual Massage
You will learn Tantric Touch, which is a way of touching that really attunes both the giver and receiver to subtle sexual energy. The giver learns to follow the pleasure in their own hands and to tantalize and tease the receiver with their touch. The point is to arouse the whole body and not just the genitals, and in so doing to build the receiver’s orgasmic energy. The giver learns to be totally receptive to the touch of the receiver, focus intensely from a place of deep relaxation on the sensations in their body, to circulate the sexual energy that is aroused, to disappear into the erotic sensations that they experience and to give feedback when it is needed. The giver learns to follow the receivers sexual energy, taking it where s/he wants it to go and ultimately to a place of streaming orgasmic energy. Tantric Touch ends in Yoni (female genital) and g-spot massage. It also involves a more general sensual massage.

Session Four (This is 2 sessions if done in sequence instead of simultaneously)
Full Body Orgasm, Female Ejaculation, Male Ejaculation Mastery
(This is 2 sessions if done in sequence instead of simultaneously)

• Female Orgasm and Female Ejaculation (for the woman - with Steven)
• Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm (for the man - withTanya)

Female Orgasm and Female Ejaculation (for the woman - with Steven)
Steven teaches the female partner to spread and direct her sexual energy, sending it up her spine and flooding her body with her sexual energy, thereby leading to full body orgasm. She learns the breath, sounds, consciousness and movements that best enable her to experience this. She learns what to do and how to let go to bring forth the possibility of Female Ejaculation and has the opportunity to incorporate this in the experiential part of the teaching. As what she is learning is both a knack that usually requires relaxation, practice, and letting go of any psychological blocks conditioned by her family, culture or church, the results of this session cannot be guaranteed. To increase the prospects of success either in this session or subsequently, possible blocks will be identified and discussed.

Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm (for the man - withTanya)
Tanya teaches the male partner Ejaculation Mastery and Full Body Orgasm.
I teach you how to make love for as long as you wish without ejaculating, not by diminishing your arousal, but by spreading it throughout your body. You will learn to flood your body with so much sexual energy that it ultimately leads to full body orgasm without ejaculation. You learn how to send your life-force sexual energy up your spine and connect it with your spiritual energy, and to spread it across your body to bring the aliveness and arousal throughout your body and not just focused in your genitals. You will learn to raise your consciousness along with your frequency by not ejaculating during states of orgasmic energy and bliss. The longer you hold onto your seed and build the orgasmic energy in you, the more power and energy you will gather and the more intense and pervasive your orgasmic energy will be. If you do the follow-up practices that I give you at the end of the session, for the period that I tell you, you will have a new mind-body reflex and will be able to make love for as long as you want without ejaculating, whether that is an hour or longer. Once you get the knack of orgasm without ejaculation, you will be a multi-orgasmic man, and will experience orgasm on a whole new and far more powerful level.

(The teaching of this session is accomplished through verbal instruction, heart-centered emotional connection, sensual touch, erotic genital touch, and consciousness.)

Session Five
Tantric Orgasm
Steven teaches the male partner how to build his lover’s sexual energy and bring her to orgasmic states through touch, emotional connection and through guiding her consciousness. Where he can take her will depend in part on what is her natural next step at this point. For example, if she is pre-orgasmic, to become orgasmic is any way what so ever, would be a wonderful step forward. If she is multi-orgasmic, to learn how to experience full body orgasm or extended orgasm would be a profound up-leveling. However, there are no goals in this session other than for both partners to practice the skills that will ultimately take her to these spaces and to do so while experiencing great pleasure. He learns what to do to peak and plateau his lover’s sexual energy, bringing her to high orgasmic states before she moves into either an extended, full body, implosive orgasm or an intense explosive orgasm. She learns how to respond in a way the potentiates this. If he and she are ready for this step, he learns his part in supporting her to experience Female Ejaculation. He then practices with feedback from his partner - and guidance from us.

More specifically, some or all of the following activities will take place in this session:
· He will practice giving his partner a clitoral orgasm. She will practice guiding her partner and disappearing into her sensations.
· He will practice giving his partner a female g-spot orgasm. She will practice teaching her lover to give her a g-spot orgasm.
· He will practice peaking his partner. She will practice peaking her sexual energies and guiding her partner.
·He will practice plateauing his partner. She will practice plateauing her sexual energies and guiding her partner.
·He will practice blending clitoral and g-spot orgasms with fingers. She will practice building her orgasmic energy, surrendering to the experience and her partner, and guiding her partner.
·He will practice blending clitoral and g-spot orgasm through a combination of oral and manual stimulation

In this session, we will be teaching you both Tantric Orgasm and guiding the male partner in the direction of taking his beloved there. Tantric Orgasm is an implosive, full body, as distinct from explosive, genital orgasm arising form circulating and flooding the body with peaks of sexual energy without orgasming until the body begins to stream and shake with orgasmic energy. You will both have more practice in running and spreading subtle sexual energy in the female partner’s body. He and she will learn the knack of slowly filling her body with more and more sexual energy, without orgasming, until she begin to feel powerful vibrations of orgasm continuously everywhere. Instead of having a quick explosive orgasm, she practice with her partner pumping the energy of an impending sexual orgasm throughout her body, circulating it over and over. The energy implodes instead of being released in an explosion. She, with her partner’s help and our guidance, will sexual breathing, consciousness, sound and movement to circulate her sexual energy, and to take her sexual energy and send if from her genitals up her spine, spreading it throughout her body as she does so. He will use sexual play to stimulate and arouse her body, including her erogenous zones, while she circulates her sexual energy. We will assist and support him in this. This sexual play will take place in the traditional Tantric way where your turn on arises from how focused you are on the sensations in your body.

We will teach you how both to become turned on from the most subtle of sensations. Perhaps you wonder how this will serve you. The answer is that the more sensitized you become, the more easily you are aroused and you can be aroused by a wider array of stimulation and thus have a wider range of experience and self expression on the sexual level. When something subtle can become an exquisite turn for you, something even hotter and more exciting will elicit a more powerful sexual response than it does now because you are more attuned to your sexual nerve endings and can simply feel more and feel it more over your whole body. When the sexual feelings that you have do not result in a quick orgasm, but build and build instead, you have an implosive orgasm that just keeps on reoccurring as you keep on re-circulating the energy. As your life force sex energy expands, it spreads throughout your body, flooding it with pulsing, throbbing, quivering, orgasmic vibrations and contractions. You have an inner, and perhaps even an outer, trembling and shaking. Your nervous system is vibrating so intensely and can be experienced as radiating electric light. When most intense, you experience it not so much as in you, as you being it.

Time permitting, the female partner will have the opportunity to work with her male partner, to bring him to a place of extended, full body orgasm.
The role we play with the couple in this session will be negotiated at the beginning of the session.

Depending on the what a person’s natural next step is, or on their capacity to open up and blossom rapidly, the following experiences, or even sexual abilities, may develop out of this session:

• Peaking and Plateauing
• Multiple Orgasms
• Extended Tantric Orgasm
• Blended Orgasm

Peaking and Plateauing
Tantric orgasm cannot be learned without learning to peak and plateau your sexual energies. Peaking involves going to a high peak of arousal and then falling back to return to and repeat this process over and over again. Lovers learn to adjust the stimulation that they give to avoid sending their partner over the edge and to spread their sexual energy over their body instead of exploding it out in a quick explosion. Plateauing is reaching and maintaining a high level of arousal for a period of time without either going down or going over the edge. We will give you practice sessions in each of these.

Multiple Orgasms
We hope that by you learning not to ejaculate and by both you and your partner learning to have full body orgasm, that you will thereby come to experience multiple orgasms and develop the knack of having multiple, full body orgasms. However, there is something beyond multiple, full body orgasms and that is extended orgasms.

Extended Tantric Orgasm
Extended orgasms last longer. They consist of continuous slow contractions of orgasmic sexual energy that become increasingly more intense and ecstatic and last from minutes to an hour or even longer. They follow on from multiple orgasms that take place in closer and closer succession. The capacity to reach extended orgasm is obviously a very advanced level and can only be achieved if is, or becomes during your time with us, your natural next step. We mention it because it is a possibility, if you become ready for it.

Blended Orgasm
Blended orgasm results from the stimulation of multiple erogenous zones combined with the Tantric techniques of breath, sound, movement and presence to flood the body with orgasmic energy that comes from those different zones, such as (but not limited to) the clit and the female g-spot in the woman or the male g-spot and the lingam (the Tantric term for penis) in the man. This is an advanced stage of development but if other states of Tantric orgasmic pleasure are achieved by the woman this may also be possible for her.

Demonstration - Additional time
We will be happy to demonstrate to you all of this (peaking, plateauing, Tantric orgasm, blended orgasm) if you wish. We could do it in the Tantra love swing if you wish so that you could see better what is actually happening. In typical Tantric fashion we would not guarantee anything as to do so would create performance anxiety and take us out of the pleasure of the erotic present, where true orgasmic energy lies. This demonstration may add about an hour to the session.)

Session Six
Ecstatic Sexual States in Intercourse and Sexual Energy Circuits
As Tantric lovers we very concerned with moving the Kundalini sexual energy in our body and between our bodies, as it is this that creates the most ecstatic sexual states. We can teach you to have intercourse using the Tantric approaches for flooding your bodies with sexual energy, connecting your sexual and spiritual energies, bouncing off each other’s orgasmic energies and transmitting these energies back and forth between you, creating what we call in Tantra "The Circle of Bliss."

You will begin by learning the movements, sounds, breath and consciousness, that are a part of Tantric love-making. You will practice these while facing each other. Then, you will use sensual and Tantric Touch to arouse each other. Once aroused, you will sit facing each other. The female partner will sit on her lover, inserting him inside her, and they will do the movements together. After we will teach you to do the Tantric love-making in other standard Tantric positions, missionary, woman on top, etc. We make sure that your standards for this experience are not set too high, and that you understand the concept of sandbox practice sex and its limitations. We can either be present during the love-making practice, which we recommend, or we can teach all that we have to teach and then you can practices alone, seeking us out for feedback and guidance either during or after. You may do a second practice session if you wish and time permitting.

Sexual Energy Circuits
You will also learn about Sexual Energy Circuits, which create an intensification of orgasmic energy. They help increase and direct the orgasmic energy and it’s flow within and between your bodies. These can be created by each, either independently of each other, or in union, during intercourse. Sexual energy circuits help the couple bring about the union of their sexual and spiritual energies, both within their own bodies and between them.

Session Seven
Kama Sutra Positions and Sex Magic

Kama Sutra
We will be happy to guide the two of you in Kama Sutra love making positions. Kama Sutra love-making positions were originally designed not only to add to the pleasure and erotic stimulation of the Indian upper class but to compensate for differences in size of the male and female genitals. Ideally, you want small male genitals to be matched with small female genitals, medium male with medium female, and large male with large female. As that is often not the case, these positions are aimed at changing the angle of the dangle so there is an optimal fit. If you let us know what category the two of you fit into we will select those positions that will give you optimal results. The KS defines the length of a small lingam <penis> (when erect) as about 5 inches, the medium as about 7 inches and the large as about 10 inches. The depth of a small, medium and large yoni (vagina) is the same as the length of the male lingam counterpart. (The average erect male is 6 inches (medium) and the average unexcited yoni is 4 inches (small). We will also help you to use the positions to enable your wife to identify the best positions for contacting her goddess-spot.

We teach the couple the Kama Sutra positions suitable for their genital and body types and for female g-spot contact. We demonstrate the different positions. We have them move into a position and then practice it during sex, and change to different positions as they go along. After having being coached the couple can make love privately and call on us if they need to, meeting with us after for feedback and further coaching. Alternative, the couple can practice in our presence so that we can coach them and, if they wish, add to their pleasure during this experience.

Sex Magic
Here you will learn how to use your sexual energies to manifest your desires.

Session Eight
Romancing Your Relationship: How to Create the Kind of Emotional Intimacy that Leads to Sexual Intimacy and Passion
(Includes information on The Romantic Tantric Date Night)
We come together in great love. We conjoin and wear the ring of our undying commitment. We begin to feel safe. We no longer have to be on our best behavior. Our standards fall. We find that our partner’s apparent best interest is not the same as our best interest and soon a power battle, whether low-keyed or high keyed, ensues and we become not only each other’s primary companion but intimate enemies. Familiarity dampens the flames of hot love and our times of love get further and further apart. We still care but are disappointed with what we created out of the material of the union of our loves and lives.

Is it possible to go back and recreate fresh love and re-ignite hot passion, in each case better than ever before. We say yes. It is possible to do so. We will help you move into the mental, emotional and spiritual places that form the foundation of such a reality. We will direct you to resources that will help you to continue the job after the workshop is over. We will provide educational, transformational, and Tantric relationship experiences to take you to the next level.

Step One - Creating Collaboration
Developing the understanding and attitude towards love that you need to share if you are to collaborate to up-level the emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship and take it as high as you can.

Step Two - Learning the art of Emotional and Sexual Intimacy
What to do to go deeper into yourselves and to begin to understand and transform the dynamics of your relationship. How collaborate together in developing more satisfying and exciting sexual skills.

Step Three - The Tantric Romantic Date Night - See below

Session Nine
The Tantric Romantic Date Night
We can teach you how to have a romantic, sensual and very sexy date with each other, so that you can take full advantage of this magnificently appointed room. We call it the Romantic Tantric Date Night and once you have learned how to create this experience for yourselves, you will be able to recreate it over and over again. In fact, we recommend that you have a weekly date night dedicated to igniting, and delving as deeply as possible into, the love and passion in your relationship.

A Tantric Romantic Date Night is a long, lovely time spent together in which your attention is very focused on each other from a place of appreciation, honoring, love, and, yes, even adoration. It is a womb in time and space that the couple creates in order to cultivate the sacredness and specialness in their relationship by taking the time to acknowledge and nurture it further. It is a time of deep sharing - emotional, sensual, sexual and spiritual. It begins with winding down and relaxing and moves from there into emotional intimacy, the sacred heart space, sensuality and finally to sexuality. Each step becomes a doorway into the next by providing the foundation for it.

Session Ten
The Tantric Romantic Date Night Tantric Puja
A puja is a series of sacred Tantric rituals that last for about 5 or so minutes each. Typically it involves moving from one partner of the opposite sex to the next for each ritual experience but partners can stay with each other. As Steven and I would be leading the Puja, you and your partner would experience each experience with each other and it would be an excellent way both to move into the Sacred Heart Space and to practice many different aspects of Tantra. Here is part of our promotional material for the Tantric Date Night Puja.

"We move into love - and romance has its way with us. But time passes and time has its way with romance, all too often diminishing the spark of reverence and desire. If we are to maintain our passion and aliveness we must choose sacred presence, so that we can create the magic of our connection. This puja will take us through the stages of a fabulous Tantric Date Night in which we create this connection. We will begin with relaxation, move into emotional intimacy, and from there into the Sacred Heart Space, sensuality, and ultimately, the electric energy of sacred Tantric sex."

We can also do an excellent one and a quarter hour puja.

Session Eleven
Creating the Ambiance for Love-making (A shorter session)
· The Bedroom Environment. How to create a physical place for love-making that has the ambience of love and sex. The very space itself is an invitation to love and passion.
· What You Wear - Dressing to bring out the God and Goddess in each other.
· Nutrients for Sexual Health and Aphrodisiacs. Your turn-on is influenced by the nutrients in your body and as you age they become more depleted. By taking sexual nutrients as a regular practice and taking them in high doses before love-making you can find a new lease of sexual life together. You will experience this in terms of an increase in your desire for sex, the intensity of your experience during love-making, the intensity of your orgasm, and his capacity to get hard and last longer.
· Bedroom Adventure Gear and Sensual Pleasuring Items - the love-swing, the liberator blocks, and other pleasures.

Session Twelve
TantraTurnOn
A one session Tantric experience that would be suitable to you if you were a couple who wanted a magical, sensual, erotic, one of a kind, experience to juice up your life together. The focus of this session would be on your pleasure rather than your learning, although both would take place.

---

RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SESSIONS
Couples whose relationship is strained by relationship issues and conflicts will need to work on these if they interfere with them learning Tantra.  It is possible to side-step these problems if the fundamental foundation of the relationship is strong and loving. The couple can choose to build on their strengths through Tantra and simply deal with their issues when they arise. The love and passion that they will experience as a result of Tantra will make this easier to do. While such couples can benefit immensely by dealing with their relationship problems, this is not essential for their initiation into Tantra. However, if their love is rocky or destructive, a couple will need to deal with what is happening between them in order to take advantage of what Tantra has to offer.

Couples experiencing relationship issues and challenges can learn techniques for conflict resolution and artful ways to come back to the Sacred Heart Space. It is important to develop trust and good-will, to be open to change in both yourself and your partner, to be willing to see each other with fresh eyes and hear each other with unblocked ears, to accept only win-win resolutions of difficult issues and to leave grudges and resentments behind. We can help you do this. We can do so by doing an initial opening session on these matters and by interweaving this throughout the sessions on an as needed basis. We recommend where possible, that if time and finances permit, that we begin with this session. Relationship counseling sessions, whether they are a beginning session or, for couples seeing us on a regular basis, interspersed between the other Tantra session, will usually be two hours – although they could be either shorter or longer.

WHAT IS TANTRA?

Three Articles on Tantra

1. Tantra and Tantric Sex - An Overview byTanya

2. The Difference between Tantric and Normal Sex byTanya

3. The Tantric Way by Steven Vogue

TANTRA AND TANTRIC SEX - AN OVERVIEW

Tantra is a spiritual path and a path of sacred sexuality, whereby you come to experience the union of your sexual and spiritual energies. In so doing, you experience the divinity in yourself, your partner and in all of existence. Tantra is concerned with the transformation of energy. It directs us to transform our life-force energy and sexual energy into spiritual energy for the purpose of spiritual enhancement and enlightenment. Within the context of Tantra, sexual relationships and experiences are grist for the mill of our spiritual advancement – which includes creating a bond of sacred love with our partner.

Tantra is an ancient tradition with its roots in Hinduism and Buddhism. It came to America and the west, pioneered in a new form, known as Neo- Tantra. It’s resurgence can be attributed mainly to the enlightened Tantric master Osho Rajneesh and his disciples – although others, such as the kria-yoga Tantricas played a crucial role too. Osho Rajneesh underplayed the emphasis on mantras, positions and ritual and placed it on spiritual consciousness, and a unique combination of meditation, risk-taking, wildness and spontaneity. The issue was to go deep, find your true core and express it in it’s fullness – both in life and in your sexuality.

The Tantric couple approach their love-making without performance concerns, goals or agendas – other than to taste fully the essence and form of each moment. They are not concerned with the pleasures or pains of the past. They are not anticipating the future, longing for or reaching toward this or that experience. They are not moving towards orgasm. Only this moment exists for them and they let it fill their senses, surrendering to it completely. and the next moment rises inevitably out of the fullness of their experience. Their love making is slower, calmer, more meditative. They are in no hurry to get anywhere. There is nowhere to go but here – and now here – and now here. They attune their breathing and circulate their sexual energy together – either in synchrony or in counter-point to each other. By this means they build a powerful charge of subtle energy. By focusing their attention on their conscious intention and their breathing and by visualizing of the movement and direction of this subtle energy, they are able to draw their life-force and sexual energy up their central meridian to the higher spiritual centers in the brow (the third eye) and the crown, thereby igniting their spiritual centers and uniting their spiritual and sexual energies. Through the same means they are able to transmit these energies to their partner or receive them from their partner, in one of a variety of different configurations, that includes circling the energy between them and sending it back and forth in a U-shaped dimension. In so doing, they create the Circle of Bliss that Tantra talks about – in which the lovers experience a powerful force of light traveling within and uniting their two bodies. This force can become so expansive that they disappear into the light either individually or together, and so become one with each other and all of existence.

There are a number of pre-requisite for Tantra without which no Tantra exists.

• The first has to do with the relationship between the partners. This relationship is one of the sacred heart space. When a couple is in the sacred heart space, the partners acknowledges and experience the sacred dimension in both themselves and in their partner and pay homage to the Godhead within. There is a term in Tantra called Namaste. It means: “The God in me salutes the God in you. I bow down to the divinity within you. I honor your high being.” Thus, in Tantra, it is from a place of high honoring, reverence and cherishing that two people meet - whether or not they are lovers

• The second prerequisite is to be totally present in the moment – sensing and feeling into it - and out of your mind. Thinking is the anesthetic of the senses. When you are fully aware, with your consciousness in your senses, and are out of your mind, you experience much more, with far greater intensity and vividness. You are more alive in both your life in general and in your sensuality and sexuality in particular.

• The third pre-requisite is to celebrate life regardless of what life brings. To be Tantric is to say “yes” to life with gratitude.. This requires that we not be attached to our preferences of how we want things to but rather to find the blessing in the “what is” of life and flow with it.

• The fourth pre-requisite is to be able to run energy – to be able to move and direct your life-force sexual energy, spreading it across your body, so that your whole body becomes alive, and to be able to send it up your central meridian and interweave it with your spiritual energy. In doing so you are able to experience yourself in a profoundly heightened spiritual and sexual state simultaneously, thereby weaving together these energies and centers. When love-making, a Tantric couple must be able to circulate this transformed energy between their bodies, which, in an expanded ecstatic state, they will experience as full body orgasm

It can be said that Tantra teaches you how to use sexual energy to achieve altered states of consciousness that create a union between the earthly and the divine, between the sexual and the spiritual. This is achieved by slowing down time by slowing down the breath and being absolutely present to what is being experienced in this slowed down time. By focusing your attention on your senses, you become so attentive to what you are experiencing, you begin to attune to the energetic realm within yourself and your partner. You use your attention to intensify, expand, and direct your energy to different places in your own and your partner’s body. In so doing you can create a circle of bliss between yourself and your partner and can now generate ecstatic states at will. Tantra is best taught through direct experience of being with an adept.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TANTRIC AND NORMAL SEX

Tantric love-making is a matter of the heart and feelings. The two partners come to each other from the sacred heart space and meet each other on the level of their high being – that part of them that is their most beautiful, loving, compassionate, up-lifted selves. They honor, cherish and revere each other because they chose to focus on the best in each other, especially during their intimate times together. They bring sacredness to their sexual experiences with each other and yet at the same time free up that part of them selves that is wild, abandoned, primitive and spontaneous. In normal love-making, the novelty of new lovers keeps them very attentive and honoring with each other and thus the sex is hot. Over-time familiarity steps in and couples become less attentive and honoring with each other, and begin to take each other for granted. They do the same thing over and over again in the same location and, often at the same times, and are not fully attentive as they do it. As a result the sex becomes routine and they lose their desire for each other and become disappointed in their sexual partnership with each other.

Normal sex is a fast moving, continual escalating rise of energy from no excitement to a peak of excitement and orgasm The goal of intercourse is orgasm – an orgasm that comes far too soon for most women to have orgasm during intercourse. Tantric sex has no goal but to enjoy the moment. It is a slow, heart connected, experience with rises and falls of energy and plateaus and multiple peaks that goes on and on over extended time.

With Tantricas, there is a lot of eye contact and heart connection, a lot of playfulness and even silliness. There may be breaks for erotic dancing, snacks, a change of positions, such as from man on top to scissors position, or from sitting in yub yum to anal sex, from sensual massage and erotic sensual delights that pleasure the skin, taste, smell and ears of a blind folded receiver, and that might include sucking liqueur off a breast, or searching for a grape in a yoni, to making love in a Tantra swing hung from the ceiling. There is no push for anyone’s orgasm and at no point does anyone want there to be more arousal than there is. The desire only is to totally enjoy whatever is happening and to be fully present to it to all the enjoyment it has to offer.
The bodies of Tantricas are relaxed and abandoned. There is no resistance to the sexual energy. They are fluid and undulating and shift positions often. Typically, lovers are fairly rigid; their body’s tense with the sexual energy and apart from the man moving in and out with powerful, and often numbing thrusting, there is little movement.

Tantricas use their breath, attention, the movement of their bodies, the contraction of their p.c. muscles, their sounds and their imagination or consciousness to move their sexual energy from their genitals into their body so that their whole body becomes alive and turned on with sexual energy. Some of that sexual energy may be taken out of the genitals in the case of the man, which means that he is a little less aroused genitally and in a better position to receive more arousal without ejaculating. In normal sex all attention remains on the genitals and building the energy there and so ejaculation happens much more quickly.

Tantricas know that where consciousness goes, energy flows. They use their concentrated attention to move their energy throughout their body, particularly sending it to their heart and third eye, which is their spiritual center. In this way, they can experience the unions of the sexual and spiritual energy and imbue their sexual energy with their love for their partner. This movement of their energy results in streams of vibrations and the experience of light moving through their body. They can similarly use their consciousness to direct this energy into their partner and to receive this energy from their partner in a variety of configurations. Through this means Tantricas create a great deal of their own turn-on instead of relying on their partner to turn them on. Ordinarily, the sexual energies and experiences of the non-Tantrica are more dependent upon each other, in that each is more reliant or the visual and kinesthetic behavior of their partner for their turn-on rather than on their own ability to access and run sexual and love energy. Their sexual energies are also more separate from their partner in that they are more focused on the arousing sensations in their own body or the fantasies in their secret mind, than on the movement of sexual energies between their bodies in a variety of configurations and on the experience of their merged energies becoming as one.

Tantricas slow down time and slow down the speed of their sexual experience by slow, deep belly breathing. Exhalations are often through the mouth with a sigh or a sound that gives voice to the sexual feeling that is being experienced. In normal sex, breathing is often fast and shallow. There may be panting or very little breathing at all.

Sound is a key to the sexual energy of the Tantrica. The Tantrica is very noisy throughout lovemaking; making moans and groans, sighs, gasps, etc. Non-Tantric lovemaking is much more silent, especially on the part of the male, with most sound coming at the moment of orgasm. All sound is energy. Sexual sound is sexual energy. When you make sexual sounds you fill your body with sexual energy. You fill the room with sexual energy, you partner hears and they get filled with sexual energy. The more your body is filled with sexual energy the more energy you have to send to your partner and the closer you are to full body orgasm. For a male Tantrica who knows ejaculation mastery, that means orgasm without ejaculation and the opportunity to keep on making love and having many more orgasms.

Normal sex is wonderful but it has trouble with-standing the test of time and every long, successful relationship puts it to the test of time. Tantric sex is more wonderful and becomes more wonderful over time. This is because Tantric couples share the deep truth of their existence with each other and acknowledge and honor each other, thereby becoming continuously more emotionally intimate. Emotional intimacy is the foundation of sexual intimacy in long-term relationships. When you add to this emotional intimacy and the sacred heart space that leads to it, the Tantrica’s skill in focusing their attention in their senses and out of their mind, in moving their sexual energy and merging it with their spiritual energy and with their partner’s energy, and in surrendering to each other from the place of their high being, you have Tantric sex.

THE TANTRIC WAY

When one travels along the path of conscious sensual intimacy one comes to a fork in the road – one path is well known and we’ve traveled it many times; it is the mountain path leading to the peak, the usual path that starts with touching, thence to kissing, thence to foreplay and stimulation, to building excitement, and fairly quickly to sex. The participants primary movement is that of more and more excitement, faster breathing, and within a short period of time a peak experience of energy breakthrough known as an orgasm – a peak orgasm, usually experienced by the male, who, having released this energy has no more energy left to facilitate an orgasm for his partner. Indeed, some statistics demonstrate that 90% of women are pre-orgasmic and 90% of men ejaculate prematurely – and there is a meaningful relationship between these two statistics – the main reason so many women are pre-orgasmic is due to the man’s habitual pattern of yearning for and quickly attaining the peak orgasm – “getting off” as it were.

The path less traveled by is the path that leads into the valley – This is the Tantric path. As one comes to the fork and looks down the Tantric path there is a mystical signpost that is mandatory reading for the traveler on this path. The signpost reads, “At the start of sexual union keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, and, so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.” The signpost was planted there by Shiva centuries ago and is one of the 112 meditations. The traveler is encouraged to travel this path as a meditation and in meditation.

Most westerners, if they have heard of Tantra at all, believe that Tantra has something to do with sex. Although this is true, Tantra is all inclusive. Tantra is a pathless spiritual path in the sense that a path infers that one is going somewhere on something that leads somewhere. Tantra, however doesn’t go somewhere or lead somewhere, thus it is pathless. Tantra represents a state of being, not doing. The Tantric state is that of total acceptance, an acceptance of what is in this moment. Tantra says there is only one reality – that which is now, only this moment. The future is non-existential – it doesn’t exist – tomorrow doesn’t exist – when it comes it will be today, then it will exist. The past is non-existential – it doesn’t exist – yesterday doesn’t exist.

In the sensual/sexual/intimate arena Tantra allows for everything – complete indulgence with complete awareness present – from soft and slow to hot and wild to completely mad. However, it is suggested that the beginner on the path go slowly, breath slowly, look into your beloved’s eyes, the windows of the soul, and feel the ecstatic moment. Touch in a way that focuses your unified consciousness on the energy of touch – touching yet not touching – so close physically with fingers or lips that you are about to touch and yet an infinitesimal distance away so that you are not quite touching. In that space and state of being put your attention on that space – the space between touch and non-touch. The energy is there.

The experience is much like riding a bicycle. When attempting a bicycle for the first time one has to remember technique – which way to turn the wheel when the bike leans left, etc. Ultimately, as the knack is developed, the technique is dropped and forgotten about if one wants to achieve the highest expertise. Likewise, technique is valuable in Tantra up to a point. After that, the knack is developed and the technique is dropped in favor of experiencing the bliss of being, not that of doing as technique would imply. One has to “do” a technique – one has to “be” an experience.

Once the enlivened touch/non-touch energy space is experienced, breathing together slowly brings about more focused awareness and intensity. Tantra says that the breath is the bridge between the physical and the spiritual. Experiencing the unified breath does a number of things. Firstly, a slow breath slows down the mind and its thoughts and brings you into the present – into meditation. Tantric “turn-on” is in the present. Secondly, by slowing down the breath and thence the mind, the attention is taken out of the head and into feeling – into the heart Thirdly, attention on the slow breath and consequently slowing of the mind particularly in sexual union produces an excitedly relaxed state such that the male can focus on the breath, remain in the present (the fire in the beginning) and withdraw his attention from his genitals, and shift away from the urge to ejaculate and shift toward the state of ecstatic union – with the recognition of the truth that the male-female energy is one.
As the participants stay in the present, they perceive their union as a vibrant, living, energy and as it becomes more energetic it becomes more meditative and the more meditative it becomes the more each of you melt and merge into each other, forgetting you even have bodies. And since you are not “going anywhere” and are totally in the moment and totally excitedly relaxed, there is no peaking out with an ejaculation because the energy is moving up – and the male can now be in sexual union for hours simply because he heeded the Tantric signpost with the centuries old sutra that said, “At the start of sexual union, keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, and, so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.”

Tantra says stay in the beginning – forget all about the end. Tantra says, stay in the moment, in the present. Tantra has no future and has no past — its only existence is in the here now. Thus, forget about having an orgasm, simply stay in the present moment. Stay in an excitedly relaxed space, without being in a hurry. This is not an oxymoron. Excitedly relaxed is that of keeping the attention on the present energetic level of excitement without looking for anything more – its an attitude that says, “This moment is so magnificent and perfect that nothing more is wanted, nothing is wished for.

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

Tantra For Beginners

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

Tantra: the Science of Self-exploration

What Is Tantra? The word Tantra is becoming increasingly familiar, as a practice embraced by celebrities such as Sting, Woody Harrelson and Scarlett Johanssen, to name a few, and as an exotic, somewhat laughable approach to sex, as depicted in movies and on television - from ”American Pie” to ”Meet the Fokkers” to ”Sex and the City.” Sting’s famous assertion that he and his wife, Trudy, make love for seven hours at a stretch created a stir, but his subsequent explanation that this included dinner and a movie, and his more recent statement that Tantra is about experiencing the sacred through relationship, attracted far less attention.

The general public seems to have a vague sense that Tantra has something to do with sex, while those with a bit more knowledge are likely to think of it as a form of sexual Yoga. The former impression, however limited, is far closer to the truth, but Tantra is a vast subject and not an easy term to define. We hope this overview will both provide some insight into and debunk many of the misconceptions that have developed about this remarkable spiritual path.

Many people who attend our introductory workshops give voice to the popular stereotypes and answer that it is something celebrities do, that it is about better sex and marathon lovemaking sessions. Others suggest that it is a way of bringing spirituality into sex, as if the two were ever separate. As Westerners and products of our culture, we cannot avoid the influence of this popular mythology, but in our practice and study, we strive to arrive at a deeper and, we hope, a more authentic understanding.

The myth that Tantra is primarily sexual originated in either scandalous or scandalizing 19th-century accounts of Tantric rituals. In the early 20th-century, Sir John Woodroffe, also known as Arthur Avalon, a British judge serving in India and a Tantric initiate himself, attempted to legitimize the tradition as part of a pro-Independence effort to celebrate Indian civilization; Avalon was one of the few Westerners involved in this effort, which included a number of influential upper-class Indians. Avalon and his circle de-emphasized the sexual aspects of Tantra, since these aspects remained scandalous to much of the general public and perhaps to Avalon himself, even though there is some evidence that he and his wife practiced Tantric sex together.

Today, most ”New Age” Tantrists have taken the opposite approach and focus on sexuality almost to the exclusion of everything else; we have even heard Tantra defined as ‘’sacred sexuality”. In many instances, New Age practitioners blend together aspects of Hindu Tantra, Tibetan Buddhist Tantra, Taoism and Western psychotherapy - among other things - and invent something that has virtually no relationship to the original tradition. As a result, most people who contact us think that Tantra and Tantric Sex are synonymous, and that Tantric Sex is synonymous with extraordinary lovemaking abilities, with some ”emotional clearing work” thrown in for good measure, and that it must last for hours.

We feel it is unfortunate that such a rich and complex tradition has been reduced to such a banal and simple stereotype. At the same time, we were drawn to Tantra because of its sexual aspects, and we are convinced that consciously exploring sexuality is a rich and meaningful path. It can function as a gateway into an experience or way of being in the world that may be more truly described as Tantric. Thus, we hope to strike a balance between the rigorous and uncompromising view of the many modern scholars and traditionalists who dismiss ”New Age” Tantrism with scorn, and popularizers, who preach the gospel of Tantric Sex, yet have virtually no familiarity with its history and, moreover, have not been initiated into a traditional lineage.

It may be clear by now that Tantra is a confusing and even paradoxical subject, and with that in mind, we offer the following, in hopes that it will give you some new ways of thinking about the meaning of the word Tantra.

Tantra is an ancient tradition that recognizes sexual energy as a source of personal and spiritual empowerment. This sets it apart from most Western traditions and helps explain why most Westerners have reduced it to its sexual elements alone.

Tantra is the magic of transforming one’s consciousness and thereby transforming one’s entire being. Your body is the most powerful tool for bringing about this transformation.

Tantra is a spiritual science. Tantric techniques have been tested and have proven effective for many centuries. If you practice diligently, you will experience results.

Tantra can be quite simple. Everyone has had Tantric experiences; it is not always so simple to notice them.

Tantra can be embraced in whole or in part. A few simple practices can often produce profound results.

Tantra is goalless, unless exploring and expanding consciousness can be called a goal. Goal orientation is one of the biggest obstacles faced by the aspiring Tantrika; abandoning specific goals and focusing on what you are doing in the moment, with as much awareness as you can muster, are the keys to effective practice.

Tantra is a way of life. The Tantric approach to exploring your own consciousness is an ever-evolving process of discovery that emerges from daily practice.

Tantra can provide you with the means to deepen your sense of connection to yourself, to your partner, to all that is.

Tantra includes practices, which, while often simple, can lead to the experience of extraordinary ecstasy.

Tantra is a technology of mind and body that will lead you to know yourself deeply.

Tantra is for people of ”heroic” temperament, already presumably healthy. Anyone interested in practicing Tantra should have done considerable work on him/herself before beginning on the path. Traditionally, this type of work often included many years of yogic study and practice; for Westerners, psychotherapy may be the best form of preparation for serious Tantric study, since it provides the student with many of the necessary tools for the self-exploration that is such a central part of Tantra. Our teacher, Dr. Jonn Mumford has written: ”In the West, we have a particular type of Yoga called psychotherapy; it is one of the most valuable heritages that Western civilization has produced.” He goes on to observe that anyone with a serious interest in Yoga must experience psychotherapy. The same applies to Tantra, but we feel it is important not to blend the two, since the approaches are so radically different.

Tantra is a pragmatic way to loosen the bonds of unconscious, habitual behavior and thereby start to live more freely and fully.

Tantra is a discipline of becoming yourself completely. In the end, there is nothing at all to do. Tantra is pragmatic and non-moralistic. You can utilize whatever tools are at hand for the purpose of expanding consciousness.

To sum it up, one way to define Tantra is to say it is: the science of self-exploration.

Authors
Mark Michaels (Swami Umeshanand Saraswati) and Patricia Johnson (Devi Veenanand) are a devoted married couple who have been teaching Tantra and Kriya Yoga together since 1999. Their popular workshops have been featured in several publications, including the Village Voice, NOW magazine, and Breathe magazine.

The two seek to combine a traditional, lineage-based approach with the best contemporary, Neo-Tantric methods. Their approach includes breath work, meditation, chanting, and puja (a type of Hindu devotional ritual), and their "initiated Kriya yoga" practices aim to lay a spiritual foundation for bringing the heightened awareness and pleasure of sex into everyday life.

The authors are senior students of Dr. John Mumford (Swami Anandakapila Saraswati) and have been named lineage holders of the OM-Kara Kriya® system for the Americas and Europe. Sunyata, coauthor of The Jewel in the Lotus, named Michaels his lineage holder in 2001. Michaels and Johnson have studied Bhakti Yoga with Bhagavan Das and Tantra with Dr. Rudy Ballentine, and they have been featured in Dr. Judy Kuriansky’s The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex.

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

Tantric Ten Tips For Better Sex And Deeper Intimacy

Tantra is an ancient Indian tradition that recognizes sexual energy as a source of personal and spiritual empowerment. Sexual energy does not necessarily mean sexual activity but rather, the life force that exists in everything. Indeed, Tantric practices can enrich your relationship and all aspects of your life. Consciously exploring pleasure, sexuality and intimacy is an easy way to start. Doing so will enable you to find more satisfaction and a deeper sense of connection. Here are ten simple ways to begin your exploration.

Cultivate a sense of adventure
The Tantric approach to living is fundamentally an experimental one. If you apply this sense of curiosity to all your experiences, they will provide you with opportunities to learn about yourself and your partner. If you can treat your relationship and everything you experience as a shared adventure, you will create a deep and enduring bond.

Gaze into each others’ eyes
Eye gazing has its origins in the classical Tantric practice of Tratak, which means "to gaze without blinking." In its most basic form, eye gazing requires you to stand facing your partner in a comfortable and open pose, while gazing softly into your partner’s eyes. When people are first falling in love, this comes very naturally. Some long-term couples may find it quite difficult at first, but it’s a wonderful way to recreate the experience and physiological state of falling in love.

Treat each other with reverence
See your partner as a manifestation of the divine (however you define it) and bring a sense of worship to your lovemaking. If you can cultivate a feeling of reverence for your partner, you can make every aspect of your relationship, including hot sex, a form of spiritual practice.

Pay attention
We like to define love as "profound interest." Life can be stressful, and demands on our time often leave us disconnected from our partners. You can choose to be interested and attentive. It only takes a little effort, but the more genuinely interested you are in your partner, the more connected you will be.

Make a date
The value of scheduling dates and times to be intimate is often overlooked. People tend to wait for the perfect mood to strike or the right moment to arrive because they fear that planning will cheapen the experience and make it artificial. Remember that anticipation can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Don’t just take advantage of those times when the mood hits you. Make dates for brief encounters and plan romantic getaways together.

Get in synch
Take the time to synchronize your breathing. If you do this in conjunction with eye gazing, you can use both visual and auditory cues to determine when you are in synch. If you are not looking at each other, you can feel the rise and fall of your partner’s chest. Bringing awareness to the breath is frequently the first step in learning how to meditate. Consciously synchronizing with your partner is a way to harmonize and to create a calming, peaceful intimacy.

Give and receive massage
One way to learn more about your partner and yourself is by exchanging massages. Use soft lights, candles, incense and soothing music to set the mood. Take your time and explore your partner’s body. This will help you learn more about your partner’s responsiveness and help you develop the ability to touch consciously. We recommend trading sessions — giving one day and receiving the next.

Gently suck on your partner’s upper lip
In Tantric anatomy, it is believed that a psychic nerve runs from a woman’s upper lip to her genitals and that sucking it can be very arousing. Men have often reported feeling the same spark of sensation in response to this form of kissing.

Stimulate the sacral nerves
Stimulate the sacrum (the triangular bony structure in the small of the back) using pressure, percussion, or vibration — pressing your hand firmly, moving it back and forth in short rapid motions, or tapping gently with the edges of your hands. The sacral nerves connect to the genitals, so this kind of stimulation can be intensely arousing.

Pulse your pubococcygeal (Kegel) muscles during lovemaking
These are the muscles that comprise the pelvic floor. You can locate them by interrupting the flow of urine. Exercising these muscles is a yogic practice, and there are many benefits in keeping them toned. If you pulse your PC muscles back and forth during intercourse, it will drive you both wild. This is an ancient courtesan’s technique, sometimes called the secret language, but both men and women can do it.

Try these simple techniques and cultivate this open, experimental, and reverent attitude. Whether you’ve just started dating or have been together for years, you’re likely to discover new and wonderful things about yourself and your partner. If you’re single, going into your next relationship with this information in mind will help you get off to a good start. These tips hardly do justice to the richness and complexity of the Tantric tradition, but if this is all you ever learn about it, you’re likely to find that you’ve got some powerful tools for transforming yourself and your relationship.

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

Tantric The Best Sex You’ve Ever Had

Why people are interested in tantric sex

Reading and practice from my long time experience as a tantric sex, it seems to me that most people at some point in their lives have a sexual experience that could be called transcendental or mystical, or simply “out of this world” wonderful. This special sexual experience could have taken place with a partner or on their own. It doesn’t matter how it came about, what matters is that many, many people naturally have this kind of amazing sexual encounter, often quite inadvertently. That’s because our bodies, psyches and spirits are wired to have this kind of experience. It’s in our original blue print to be ecstatic. When we are able to totally relax, let go, trust and open up, magical, divine love-making happens all by itself.

So, if it’s so natural, why don’t more people enjoy mind-blowing sex as a regular, everyday thing? That’s because our upbringing has trained us out of our intuitive knowing. Still, having once, or sporadically, had this experience, it is only understandable that people spend their lives trying to recapture that special moment, often failing to do so. Some manage it occasionally, but few have it consistently. Others go down the wrong track all together into all kinds of sexual distractions, even sex addiction. But what people really seek deep down is sex that helps them merge with the divine, sex that tunes them into the love that is the very fabric of who we are, sex that helps them melt and become one with God, Goddess, The Source, “That which is eternal”.

The reason “Tantra” has become so popular lately is because tantric sex describes quite well this sacred sex that people are missing. And so people try out whatever suggestions they find under the term Tantra. But what a lot of people don’t understand is that no amount of techniques or special breathing rhythms or chants or body positions, or incense or gadgets will get you to this longed for state of blissful pleasure and merging.

What you need to get there is much simpler then that. To have fantastic life-altering sex you need emotional and physical openness, that’s it.

It’s simple but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily easy.

That’s why, paradoxically, these mystical sexual experiences are often experienced by couples who are fairly new to each other. Check your own experience and see if I’m right.

This is so because couples who are new to each other are typically a lot less weighed down with cautiousness. There is an innocence, a freshness, a hopefulness and a lack of negative expectation. There is an absence of the protection that usually builds between a couple as their intimate relating touches old emotional wounds and as lack of sexual knowledge and communication skills creates repeated disappointments.

Does that mean that you should go from honeymoon to honeymoon, from partner to partner in search of this magical sex. Oh no! The truly best sex, the lasting kind, the really amazing deeply transformational sex is always found in committed relationships where the partners keep growing in closeness together.

So what can a couple do to consistently have the best sex they’ve ever had? And not just on their honeymoon or once in a great while?
They can commit to emotional, physical and energetic opening. But how?

In my home audio workshop and e-book “Sex for the Soul” I go into great detail as to what a couple can do, but here I’ll just give you a short list of tips:
1. Have eye contact when you make love much of the time. See and allow yourself to be seen, be emotionally naked.

2. Talk about your sex life. Be willing to increase your communication about specific sexual physical details by 100%; what works for you, what doesn’t, and what you wish your partner and you would try. Keep blame out of it. Rather then focusing on what doesn’t work let each other know what would work. Make yourself vulnerable and be honest.

3. Relax your body when you make love. Slow things down enough so that you can feel your genitals very sensitively. Start slow, and slow down in between more heated moments. Your body will teach you how to have sacred sex if you slow down enough to listen to it.

4. Be willing to experiment with new ways of playing in the bedroom, physically and emotionally.

5. Don’t settle for sexual gratification, which means, don’t just go for orgasm at all cost, neither his nor hers. Seek to make love, to create a space of lovingness, each time you connect sexually.

6. Make love often; bring your bodies together regularly. Let your lovemaking become a meditation of surrender, connection, vulnerability and deep relaxation. See it as a spiritual practice. Let your relationship be a journey of learning and growing in love together.

And here an excerpt from my upcoming audio program "Sex for the Soul"

…….One of the messages of this program is: Don’t just have sex, make love! Most people, when they hear the words “making love” immediately assume it means having a sexual exchange, am I right? Have you ever really considered why that is? It is because, since time immemorial, sex is one of the best ways that humans have to create more love: in their relationship, in their lives, and on the planet. Unfortunately, the way things are nowadays, having sex doesn’t mean making love. Consciously engaging in the act of creating more love through the sexual act is not what most people think about when they are having sex. The way sex is promoted these days in popular culture presents sex as a means for physical pleasure, excitement, fun, or even social status. Although there is no problem with any of these, the media is inadvertently promoting loveless sex. "Tips for better sex”, “How to have more sizzling orgasms”, “Make sex last longer”, “5 new techniques to Dazzle Your Partner in Bed”– these are the headlines we see every day on magazine covers. The word “love” does not appear in any of these headlines and that’s why it’s easy to forget to look for love.

Another message of this program is equally important: Don’t just live together, make love! So many long- term couples have given up and resigned themselves to a life of companionship, and maybe occasional sex, but there are many easy and some not so easy things a couple can do to bring the spark back to their partnership.

And to come back to the value of tantric techniques, special breathing rhythms, mantras, chants, sexual positions, energy exercises, incense, sacred symbols, etc. Once you have emotional openness all the above can be a lot of fun and add to your experience in lovely ways. Often the biggest value is not the technique itself but the fact that in endeavoring to bring these things into their life, couples start talking about their sex-life and begin to explore. But just remember, you don’t really need any techniques to have the best sex you ever had. You just need to trust yourself and your body ever more deeply.

If you want to start today, try one of my tips for Sacred Sex above.My audio workshop will give you many more explicit and detailed instructions to work with, but for now go to my list of tips and start exploring the vast depths of sexual mystery and magic that is yours by birthright.

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

The Practices of Tantra

In an effort to experience more joy, freedom, love and growth, we often look outside of ourselves, rather than focusing inward. We seek more possessions, a beautiful home, jewelry, shoes, and clothes, often in excess. We resort to food, build up our bodies, take drugs or alcohol. We use religion as a crutch, rather than accepting the fact that Divinity is within all of us.

Tantra is a spiritual path for integrating body, mind and spirit for experiencing our inner joy. Tantra gives us the tools to be totally free from negativity impressed upon us at an early age by family, church, friends and peers. Through tantra we learn to open our hearts to the unconditional love of the Self as well as others. We experience growth and continual expansion.

Tantra means liberation through expansion. By expanding our awareness we learn to distinguish our limited ego nature from our higher nature. As we begin to realize our own divinity, we can see the divine in our beloved, in all people, in all of life. It differs from other paths in its acceptance and use of all the senses, including sexuality and feelings, to help us evolve spiritually. Tantra encourages us to enjoy more fully the world in which we live, as a way to access other worlds.

By practicing tantra we can learn to amplify and transmute sexual energy through breathing techniques, exercises and dance. Instead of being at the effect of this powerful force, we use it consciously to actualize our spiritual potential. We learn to release inhibitions and blocks that prevent us from experiencing our true joyful nature. We come to realize that the physical body is a vehicle for the soul to celebrate and experience joy and ecstasy. We become profound and playful. God learns to play at being human.

We learn true intimacy with our partner by consciously moving and sharing cosmic energies. Tantra can be practiced without a partner as well. As we await our beloved, we work at honoring and balancing our inner male and female. When we combine our analytical, linear, verbal, abstract side synergistically with our intuitive, holistic, sensual, practical side, we find the essence of creative genius.

Tantra teaches us to transcend the limitations of the mind by distinguishing our limited ego nature from our higher self. The ego/mind believes that having its desires fulfilled brings happiness. The omniscient mind lives continually in bliss. As we discover our truths, desires are released, and we come to identify more and more with this bliss body. Rather than living through the mind and the mind’s habit of placing everything in a familiar setting, we learn to trust our intuition about the unexpected and the unknown. We learn to do this by becoming inner-directed, taking responsibility for our lives and learning to live in the present moment.

The many practices of tantra, which include breathing, meditation, movement, dance and sound rejuvenate the body, recycle sexual energy, transforming it for increased vitality and self-healing.

Tantric sex is meditative, spontaneous and intimate lovemaking. Through it you learn to prolong the act of making love and to channel, rather than dissipate potent orgasmic energies moving through you, thereby raising the level of your consciousness. Tantra transports your sexuality from the plane of doing to the place of being. There is no goal in Tantric sex, only the present moment of perfect and harmonious union. Tantra teaches you to revere your sexual partner and to transform the act of sex into a sacrament of love.

Tantra teaches that lovemaking between a man and woman, when entered into with Awareness, is a gateway to both sexual and spiritual ecstasy. It is necessary to purify and master your body and mind. With practice you will awaken the powerful psychic energies through which you can enter into higher states of Consciousness.

Through the sacred act of love, you can merge the dual nature of your sexuality into an ecstatic union. Through this will come the harmonization of your own internal masculine and feminine polarities and a realization of the blissful nature of your Self.

What is Tantric Sex Really All About?

Is Tantric Sex simply a technique for making sex last longer? Is it a technique to make orgasm more pleasurable, longer and more intense? Or is it something far greater which most people cannot even begin to conceptualize?

For the ordinary individual the idea of an orgasm that can fill your entire body and go on in pulsating bursts for hours on end sounds totally preposterous! But what if this is exactly what Tantric Sex can lead to? What if the orgasm we have all experienced is simply the release of a tiny amount of sexual energy into the genital area which stimulates the many nerve endings located there, thus giving us a pleasurable sensation? What if sexual energy could be controlled and circulated throughout the body to stimulate all nerve endings and thus cause an orgasm that fills the entire body?

Did you know that 40% of your daily energy goes into the production of sperm or eggs. When a man ejaculates he loses an enormous amount of energy and usually becomes tired as a consequence. For a female it is menstruation that leads to a loss of sexual energy but for both the consequences are the same. A huge amount of highly charged sexual energy is lost which could have been used for greater health and pleasure.

What if you could stop the loss of sexual energy and thus build it, cultivate it and circulate it throughout your body? Does it not make sense that with so much more energy to use your physical body would become stronger and healthier? Does it not also make sense that with more energy you will be able to have much more sex, for much longer periods and with greater pleasure? Well this is exactly what does happen and it can lead to full body orgasms that you could not even begin to imagine!

Another aspect of the cultivation of sexual energy is that it puts pressure on your emotions. During a woman’s cycle she builds up sexual energy which gets to a peak just before menstruation where the energy is evacuated with the eggs and uterine lining. At this point she may become very emotional and may even feel physical pain from the built up energy. Once it is released she is suddenly relaxed again and her husband can also relax! When a man has not ejaculated for a while he may become agitated, obsessed with thoughts of sex and be unable to concentrate. He may also become more emotional. His testicles will become swollen and he will feel physical pain due to the build up in energy. When it is released he feels immediate relief and can think straight again.

If someone was to begin cultivating their sexual energy they would inevitably be confronted by emotions which the extra energy is putting pressure on. If they instead of releasing the energy, continue to cultivate it these emotions will be brought to the foreground of consciousness until they are cleared or changed. In this way the person’s emotional energy is actually transformed through the cultivation of sexual energy and they may become free of emotional issues. This is very important to understand because it is emotional issues which prevent sexual energy from flowing throughout the body in the first place. Emotional issues cause blockages in the flow of energy and therefore prevent the flow of sexual energy during sex. Due to this people’s sexual energy is trapped in their genitals where it cannot be cultivated. The genitals can hold only so much energy before they must release it. Therefore you cannot cultivate sexual energy without also unblocking the paths for it to travel into the body.

The possibilities of pleasure are truly infinite but it involves a process of clearing! Tantric sex is not just about having better sex. It is about an actual transformation of energy which frees you from past conditioning and opens you up to experiences of a higher nature. Only with clear energy channels can sexual energy flow freely throughout the body and lead to true ecstasy!

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

Tantric Sex - The Art of Lasting Longer in Bed

As mentioned so many times, Tantric sex is about getting maximum pleasure form your body for the longest possible time. But even then, it’s not about reaching an orgasm. It’s about sacred union. In Tantra, sexual energy is used for spiritual growth, healing, and yes, enhanced and extended sexual pleasure.

Tantric Sex Secrets to Make you Last Longer in Bed

The following tips and exercises are not about curing premature ejaculation. At a man’s best, he can usually probably last a good 45 minutes in bed. But why limit yourself right? As Rock star Sting and his wife previously claimed, they can have up to five or six hours of lovemaking, why not you?

If you think about it, climaxing is actually the result of tension. For instance, because you’re so excited making love to your partner, tension builds up in your pelvis, butt, and/or mind. This then leads to a climax. It’s thus logical to start with the basics to prevent this unnecessary tension. How? By re-training your body on how to RELAX.

Exercise One: Float. This exercise aims to teach you to ‘go back to basics’ and simply tell your body to chill out.

- Find a comfortable and stress-free space and lie down on your back and close your eyes.
- Lie down comfortably. That is, spread your legs a bit and let your arms fall away from your body (palms up).
- Start from the top of your head. Imagine each hair shaft falling on its own accord, away from your head and resting on the pillow. Imagine your eyes relaxing, unknot your brows. Continue imaging each and every part of your body from head-to-toe getting into a state of relaxation.
- Now imagine the weight of your body pressing down into the earth while being entirely supported all around.
- Just let all the tension in your body be washed completely, allowing all your muscles to relax.
- Now relax your mind. Focus on the slow steady natural rhythm of your breathing and nothing else.
- Just float this way for 20 minutes while you witness what your mind and body experience.

Exercise Two: Tighten and Release. This exercise aims to teach you how to ‘control’ your body. That is, when to induce tension on it and when to deliberately relax it. This is important during intercourse because then when you feel tension, you can command your body to relax.

- Assume the Float position.
- Focus your awareness on your toes, tense them tightly for a moment, and then relax them for several breaths.
- Focus your awareness on your feet, tense them tightly for a moment, and then relax them for several breaths.
- Continue doing the same with your lower legs, thighs, genitals, butt, stomach, lower back, chest, upper back, hands, forearms, upper arms, shoulders, neck, and jaw.
- If you feel tension anywhere in your body, repeat the cycle until you feel relaxed all over.
- Take a few moments just breathing gently and feel the complete sense of relaxation sink in deeply.

Exercise Three: Tantric Belly Breathing

Have you noticed that during sex and you’re all really tensed up and you feel like you’re going to explode, your breathing comes in gasps or in short, dragged breaths? This type of breathing goads you to reach your destination (orgasm) faster. So what if you can command yourself to breathe more evenly? Surely, that would relax your body and prevent climaxing, right? Yes!

- Assume the Float position.
- Remain completely still and relax all your muscles, especially your anal and genital muscles. Press your tongue gently against the roof of your mouth. This will keep your jaw relaxed.
- Observe how fast you’re breathing and feel how deeply each breath goes.
- Now, open your mouth and breathe rhythmically more deeply and slowly. Imagine that your belly is an empty balloon that fills and empties with each relaxing breath.
- Put your hand on your belly and watch it move in and out as you breathe. If your hand isn’t moving, consciously force the air down deeper.
- Now imagine your breath going down into your pelvis, washing, cleansing, and stimulating. As you exhale, imagine it leaving every muscle totally relaxed.

During sex, just when you feel that the sexual tension is going just a bit too far, start Tantric breathing deliberately. Again, imaging each muscle relax as you exhale. This will prolong your orgasm and make you enjoy sex for hours to come!

Tantric Sex Techniques to Make You Last Longer in Bed

According to studies, around 75% of women do not reach an orgasm during intercourse. Why? For one, it’s because he or she does not know how to properly sexually stimulate her so she never really reaches sexual tension enough to come. Another reason is this: he comes too fast.

Frankly, clinical premature ejaculation is not the issue here. Women simply take longer than men to climax. Period. So how do we bridge this gap? Well, why not engage in exercises that will help you last longer in bed? This way, you’re giving her all the time she needs to get all revved up for a glorious climax.

Tantric Sex Tips n’ Tricks for Lasting Lovemaking

Exercise One: Pressing the Prostate Point (PPP)

Okay, here’s a bit of a male anatomy lesson. Between your testicles and anus is something called the perineum. There’s a soft spot there through which you can apply pressure to your prostate. Now for most men, prostate stimulation reduces the likelihood of cumming involuntarily. This is because it washes out from the prostate gland the fluid that is necessary for ejaculation.

If you push hard enough on your prostate point right before cumming, it actually blocks the emission phase (or ejaculation phase). This exercise prevents seminal fluid from entering the urethral canal when your orgasmic spasms start. Even if you have orgasmic contractions, the semen remains inside your body and is re-absorbed. This is also known as having a Dry Orgasm and no, nit’s not painful!

- Pleasure yourself till you begin to feel the tension that tells you you’re on your way to coming.
- Stop all motion, locate your prostate point, and press upward firmly for 10 to 30 seconds. You should feel the sexual tension you were just feeing begin to ebb away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 1.
- Stop all motion, locate your prostate point, and press upward firmly for 10 to 30 seconds. You should feel the sexual tension you were just feeing begin to ebb away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 3.
- Locate your prostate point, and press upward firmly for 10 to 30 seconds. However, this time, try to continue stroking yourself as you do this.
- Continue doing this exercise till you master reaching higher sexual peaks and bringing yourself down again.

Exercise Two: Root Lock

Inside your body, at the base of your penis is the muscle called pubococcygeus. People fondly call it PC for short. This exercise teaches you to use your PC muscles to delay ejaculation.
To perform a Root Lock, hold your breath momentarily and push your pelvic muscles out like straining to empty your bowels. Some claim they prefer pushing ‘in’ rather than out but that’s all up to you really.

- Pleasure yourself till you begin to feel the tension that tells you you’re on your way to coming.
- Exhale all your breath and hold it, keep your eyes wide open looking upward, push your tongue on the roof of your mouth, tighten your fingers, hands, and feet, and push out on your asshole until your arousal ebbs away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 1.
- Exhale all your breath and hold it, keep your eyes wide open looking upward, push your tongue on the roof of your mouth, tighten your fingers, hands, and feet, and push out on your asshole until your arousal ebbs away.
- Now pleasure yourself again. This time, go a bit pass the tension you felt in Step 3.
- Exhale all your breath and hold it, keep your eyes wide open looking upward, push your tongue on the roof of your mouth, tighten your fingers, hands, and feet, and push out on your asshole until your arousal ebbs away. But this time, contract your anal muscles inward and upward while pulling your stomach toward your spine. Which works better for you, in or out?
- Continue doing this exercise till you master reaching higher sexual peaks and bringing yourself down again.

By now, you should be realizing that tension in whatever way, shape of form, is your ‘enemy’. So each time you make love to her, and you feel that you’re reaching a sexual peak that can easily lead you to orgasm, delay your cumming and wait for her will you?

Current Affairs | Comment (0)

What is Tantric Touching?

Tantric lovemaking is not about learning new sex positions (although you will learn that too!). It’s about connecting with your lover in heart, mind, body and spirit. And to achieve this, one of the tenets of Tantric sex is tantric touching.

Tantric touching is to touch or physically connect with your lover in a deeper more spiritual way. With today’s hectic lifestyles, it’s amazing how many couples don’t even take the time to connect with each other via a simple loving touch.

Well, you won’t be one of those couples! Deepen sexual intimacy with her with these Tantric touch tips.

Tantric Touching 101

One: Make time for Tantric touching.
You can schedule a meeting. She can schedule a beauty parlor appointment. Surely, you can schedule something for the two of you! Get your calendars out and block an hour this Friday or the weekend. These dates are best as there’s something about the weekend that makes your minds and bodies relax.

Two: Prepare yourselves properly.
Simply plopping down on pillows cross-legged, facing each other and touching won’t do! It’s like forcing or expecting the effects of Tantric touching to just magically occur. No, you guys need to prime yourselves a bit. Here are some ‘primer’ tips.

- Sit down and have a nice cup of herbal tea together first.
- Take a walk hand-in-hand.
- Take a shower or bath together.

The point is to condition your minds to relax in each other’s presence.

Three: Prepare the Tanric touch area.
A relaxing touching session will not occur if you’re in a place of chaos. As such, take some time to prepare the area where you guys will have your touching session. You can dio this together or you can do it alone while she’s showering or taking a bath.

To prepare the area, here are some tips: place a nice soft rug on the floor and put a lot of pillows over it so your bodies are nicely cushioned. Then play some soft music and light some scented candles or burn some scented oils. Don’t make the smell overpowering. In most cases, a ‘whiff’ of something is better than a full-on scented assault. If you have them, scattered rose petals are great too!

Four: Free her inhibitions.
When she’s ready to join you, ask her to lie down on her back and close her eyes. It’s best if she’s wearing lingerie or a nightgown. If she’s uncomfortable or feeling vulnerable, ask her to close her eyes or if she wants to be blindfolded. A lot of people realize that they act freer and are more responsive when blindfolded.

Five: Drink in her whole presence.
Before touching her, take a step back and admire your woman. Start with the tips of her toes and work your eyes up her whole body till you reach the very of her head. Don’t look her up and down with the goal of critiquing or even trying to find her ‘best parts’. Simply preview her as you with a really exquisite painting by a master.

Six: Speak your desire.
Still not touching her, start to state how you love certain parts of her body. Don’t hold back and let out all your positive comments and even lustful ones. This will make her feel loved, cherished and yes, a bit horny too!

Seven: Start touching her.
Start physical contact with her body. It doesn’t really matter where you touch first but it’s best to start with ’small touches’. For example, touch her toes first with just your fingertips instead of using your hands and grabbing her ass right away. However small the touch, make it firm. Your goal is not to tickle her after all! Give this part some time before you move on to firmer, bigger touches.

Nine: Pay attention to her reactions.
Take notice of how she’s reacting to your sexual touches. Is she relaxed? Too relaxed? Or is she too tensed?

If she’s too relaxed, then your touch needs to be a bit firmer (maybe even a bit more naughty!). If she’s all tensed up, then you may be pushing her to an early sexual release. Ease up a bit so she’s not pushed over the edge… yet.

Here are ways to help you detect how your touch is making her feel.

- Is she making noises? What type of noises?
- How are her facial features? For instance, are her brows relaxed or tensed?
- How’s her skin? Are they a bit flushed or cool with goose bumps on them? (Maybe you need to light more candles, lather some warm oil or increase the room’s temperature.)

Pay attention to how she’s reacting to your Tantric touch and react accordingly. Remember, the goal is to relax her mind, body and spirit and use this as a primer for making love so it would do well if the Tantric touching session is a success.

Current Affairs | Comment (0)