Mary Furlong says she doesn’t think the oldest boomers were ready for how fast aging came. But now that it’s here, they are making major life changes…
Take their sex lives:
‘(Baby boomers) are becoming more inquisitive and experimental,’ she writes. ‘They are joining the mile high club for the first time, having sex play in exotic locations, making love nests before the fireplace or in the tree house, and discovering sex toys. … They are using books, music, yoga, erotica, massage and videos to help them reach a heightened sensuality….’
Sexuality is an essential element in the lives of adults 45-plus, according to a 2004 AARP study. ‘More than half the respondents said sexual activity is critical to a good relationship and that a satisfying sexual relationship is important to quality of life,’ she says…
Are boomers unique in this sexuality? I ask her. And are we just talking about American boomers?
‘We’re talking about boomers worldwide,’ Furlong says…”
Tantric sex for a romantic date
"Have A Spiritual Night Out: Eight ideas for meaningful dates that are more than just dinner and a movie," By Holly Lebowitz Rossi, Beliefnet.com, no date
“Are you fresh out of romantic ideas? Do you feel adrift in the dating doldrums, stuck in the same tired bistro-and-movie rut as every Saturday night? Well, you’re in luck, because here are eight ways to spice up your love life with soulful outings and activities to bring you and your sweetie closer together. Expand your romantic and, perhaps, spiritual horizons by taking a Tantric sex class, playing a little one-on-one basketball, or simply watching the sun set. A friend of mine says her most spiritual date was when a boyfriend taught her how to ice skate. The trust that she felt in leaning on him, plus the way he made her feel beautiful rather than clumsy, made for a date she’ll never forget. Some ideas to try:”
Kama Sutra in British School Curriculum
“I had to laugh recently when I read that the Kama Sutra,
India
’s 2,000-year-old love text on erotic pleasure and sexual technique, has been introduced into the British school curriculum.
What’s a childhood without those awkward (and potentially traumatizing) pubescent moments of self-discovery?
Will the Brits soon be churning out grade-schoolers who are tantric gurus and carnal athletes poised to enter adulthood with sexual identities intact?
The Kama Sutra may be best-known today for its graphic detailing of sex positions, but it also celebrates intimacy, guilt-free pleasure, masturbation and the importance of knowing - and satiating - the desires and preferences of your partner.”
On another note: “Amazingly, kissing on screen in
India
wasn’t permitted until the 1990s. Even now it’s considered to be a more private expression of emotions that are inappropriate in public. But behind closed doors, anything goes.”
Spiritual Eye Gazing
“When looking into the eyes of the one you love, you can see it all: when they’re sad, when something you said hurts, when they brighten up or when you know what they’re thinking without saying a word. The eyes convey our truth in glints and glimmers. For a partner, and sometimes a few select others in our life, the eyes communicate in an instant what words cannot.
Could this intensity be the reason that so many of us, consciously or not, minimize eye contact during sex? Perhaps we like to let our bodies do the talking (which certainly has its place). Or maybe the power of eye contact is simply too intense during an already-heightened moment. It distracts us from the moment or makes us feel self-conscious.”
The Union of Sex and Spirit
"Sex & Spirituality: The Intimate Connection” by Rajesh Pillai (no date)
“Societies, like our own, that have severed their sexual connection to the whole Cosmos, have lost a vital aspect of life. Despite being the
land
of
Kamasutra
and Tantric sex, our society, for the last several hundred years, has successfully suppressed most meaningful experiences of the sexual, and as a result we have lost touch with its power, wisdom, and holiness.
In fact, we have repressed the sexual element of our lives for so long and so completely as individuals and as communities that it is now being just short of enemies: in the war between the spirit and the flesh, if a person is ‘sexual,’ then they’re not really ‘spiritual,’ and if they’re ‘spiritual’ they’re not really ‘sexual.’
Has the concept been always like this? The answer is indeed a big ‘NO.’ And this is true in case of all ancient civilizations, including ours.”
Savanna Samson on Tantric Sex
This is from the “first sex advice column by Vivid Girl Savanna Samson, a recognized super star in the adult entertainment world (co-author of the best-selling How to Have a XXX Sex Life)…
Ms. Samson is one of the elite group of Vivid Girls, actresses signed exclusively with Vivid Entertainment, the leading adult film company. In her column she pulls no punches as she tells her audience how women can “squirt” when having an orgasm, whether or not to allow a vibrator into a relationship, and what she thinks about boyfriends who are bi-curious.”
On Tantric sex she writes: “’Well, I suppose Tantric sex could technically last fo
r d
ays but I for one certainly don’t have days to dedicate to trying but I can tell you it is a beautiful way to become one with your partner and achieve the greatest, most intense orgasm of your life. On my next vacation I will see how long it can last!’”
Are you ready to get slow? Try Tantra!
"The pace of life feels morally dangerous to me."- Richard Ford, novelist
“I know that all too often we can’t help it (or ourselves) but in our contemporary technofied life, most of us don’t take nearly enough time for our friends and family. Too many Americans even feel guilty for taking time away from their Blackberries, cell phones, text messaging, overtime, frenetic pace and packed schedules. Forget smelling the proverbial roses–we’re so busy sprinting from Point A to Point B we don’t even spot them in the first place.
So the personal and political question is this: How might we craft a different attitude toward time–one that moves us toward a saner, more humane, more caring country?
…what truly interests me are other parts of the Slow Movement–the thirty-five-hour work week; educators who advocate for a slower classroom pace and fewer extracurricular commitments; the importance of leisure activities (‘the first principle of all action is leisure,’ Aristotle argued); Tantric sex; and the Slow City movement that addresses everything from reducing traffic to providing family-run businesses with prime real estate to using local, organic produce for school lunches.
But here at home politically, personally, we seem headed in the opposite direction.”
Tantra vs. Porn
“Other good places to start are with books and videos about Tantra. Although Tantric books and videos are as graphic as porn books and videos, they have a different purpose. Tantric practices view sex as a path to God-realization. It becomes part of the yoga of relationship. I heard my hero Joseph Campbell quote the writer James Joyce, who defined pornography as anything that made you want to possess it. By that definition, all advertising is pornographic. Art, quotes
Campbell
, inspires only awe. Healthy sexuality inspires awe.”
Yoga, Pilates and Tantra
“Yoga was developed over five thousand years ago in Northern India. It is first mentioned in the sacred Hindu text Rig Veda. During its first clear period, yoga was practiced and refined by Vedic priests, who documented the practice in their writings. Patanjali, who is considered by most to be the father of classical yoga, fostered the next phase of yoga’s development. Following Patanjali’s broad expansion of yoga and its meanings, Tantric yoga became accepted as the new form of yoga and concentrated on cleansing both the mind and the body. Yoga finally neared its modern form in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century when more and more Indian yogis traveled to the West, sharing their art and increasing the world’s interest in yoga.”
“Spadominiums” with all the new age perks, including Tantra
Coming to a city near you…
“BREATHE. It’s been a busy day. Your husband woke you as he raced to the steam room at 6 a.m. Then your own serene morning began with Zen Boot Camp at 7 and some Cardio Dance before you bundled the kids off to their Aqua Fun class in the pool. When they were back home with the nanny you stole a moment for your own quick steam on the way to Balletone at 11. After Pilates it was time to collect the little ones for Children’s Self Defense. The late afternoon found you contemplating mindfulness in a communal meditation room and stopping by a nutrition-conscious cafe to order dinner, delivered. Your husband reappeared for Ballroom Dancing at 6 p.m., but the two of you had to sneak out early to catch a lecture on “The Essential Components of Healthy Aging.” Somehow you still had the energy to do your personalized Tantra homework. Good thing you never had to leave your building…
The age of the ‘spadominium’ has arrived. In the last four years Susie Ellis, the president of SpaFinder, a research clearinghouse and information service, has identified more than 200 “spa lifestyle communities” across the country…”
Is Tantra about sex at all?
“Thus began my search for the essence of tantra. Tantra, it seems, didn’t start with sex at all. Shiva Rea, surfer and renowned LA-based yoga instructor, explains that tantra originated in “an entire pre-Vedic spiritual culture centered around the intention to reawaken the dormant life energy we all are born with.” Through tantra, continues Rea, “our consciousness becomes altered and we realize that we are connected to everything, which in turn begins to instruct our lives.”
Once the student grasps the power of this internal energetic connection, he or she can begin to apply it to all practices of everyday life—of which sex is only a part.
In classical tantric sex, the orgasm is the trivial element in an otherwise masterful experience. The sacred occurs in the dance of two people bringing themselves slowly—with tantalizing concentration—to the point right before orgasm, and then holding the powerful energy in that place with pointed effort.”
Does repeated ejaculation weaken men?
“A lot of physical exercises in sex magic derive from Tantra Yoga. The only point of disagreement appears to be the way of using the orgasm. In particular, the “traditional” Tantra authors seem to cling to the idea that there is only a limited amount of sperm available to men. Therefore this precious substance is carefully guarded, held back and reassimilated when spent. Western magic does not agree with this belief. Its approach is rather like: the more you spend - the more you get! This applies to male magicians, women have always been pretty much inexhaustible in their orgasmic capacity. What joins both is that the intent in Sex magic is much more result oriented and concrete than in Tantra, where it is mainly transcendental.”
Certainly this is a woman writing, as any man can tell you about the tremendous loss of sexual vigor that accompanies repeated ejaculation. This is not a theory, but rather a simple observation of what actually happens with men when they ejaculate repeatedly and frequently.
Why abstinence is not a good strategy for educating young people about sex
Abstinence as a sex education strategy does not work.
“Abstinence education is a low-quality product. The medical veracity of the abstinence-only programs is slipshod at best. Five research studies from 1991 to 2002 published in the American Journal of Public Health, the Journal of Adolescent Health, Family Planning Perspectives, the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine and, devastatingly, the Central African Journal of Medicine demonstrate, across sample sizes, sexes, age ranges and ethnicities that neglecting to teach condom use yields negative health results.
The most succinct credence given to this notion appeared in a 1998 study entitled ‘Impact of a High School Condom Availability Program on Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors’ in Family Planning Perspectives (March–April, 1998; available at www.pubmed.com with ID# 9561871), whose conclusion notes that after condom use was taught and condoms were made available in a Los Angeles County High School, respondents’ attitudes toward sex and condom use either remained the same between surveys or changed in a direction favoring less sexual behavior and greater risk prevention.’ Inconvenient publications such as this suggest that the defensive, calculated tactics on display at the abstinence briefing must adhere to some other agenda than public health and safety.”
Why Men Fall Asleep After Sex
“Leave it to a ninety-two-year-old woman to break down a complicated question into the simplest terms. When we told Billy’s wife’s grandmother the name of our new book, she answered in a second. ‘Because they work so damn hard!’
As much as we would have liked to settle on that answer, we knew more was needed to make our editor happy. So we scoured the medical literature to try to put this issue to rest. We found studies with fornicating rats, hamsters, and prairie voles, but there was very little direct information about the postcoital snooze. There are many hormonal changes that occur with orgasm and some of these changes may offer an explanation for why men fall asleep.
After orgasm, both men and women release the chemicals oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid (GABA), and endorphins. Each of these contributes to that roll-over-and-snore feeling. They seem to be secreted in equal amounts in men and women, but we all know who orgasms more frequently.
The hormone oxytocin is known to have several effects including establishment of maternal behavior, stimulation of uterine smooth muscle contraction at birth, and stimulation of milk ejection (milk letdown). It is also referred to as "the cuddling hormone" since it tends to elicit the need to be close and bond but not in a sexual way. In one study, oxytocin was shown to inhibit male sexual behavior in prairie voles. Maybe it’s the oxytocin that makes us feel satiated and rested after a good romp.
Prolactin is another player in the sex/sleep conundrum. It is produced in the pituitary gland and its best known function is the stimulation of milk production. Prolactin is believed to relieve sexual arousal after orgasm and take your mind off sex. Levels of prolactin rise during sleep and some patients with prolactin-secreting tumors report frequent sleepiness. So prolactin seems like it may be a culprit too.
Gamma amino butyric acid (GABA) and endorphins also both have a calming effect and may make you pass out post-sex.
The tantric answer is that the male orgasm releases outward energy or jing, while the female orgasm is an inward explosion.
Last but not least, we have Grandma’s reasoning. It is thought that exertion during sex and after climax depletes the muscles of energy-producing glycogen. This leaves men feeling sleepy. Since men have more muscle mass than women, men become more tired after sex. Also (believe it or not!) women don’t always have an orgasm, and that keeps them from producing all those other hormones we just talked about.
Hmmm . . . maybe Grandma was right.”
Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer’s
“New research shows that the active ingredient in marijuana may prevent the progression of the disease by preserving levels of an important neurotransmitter that allows the brain to function.
Researchers at the Scripps Research Institute in California found that marijuana’s active ingredient, delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC, can prevent the neurotransmitter acetylcholine from breaking down more effectively than commercially marketed drugs.
THC is also more effective at blocking clumps of protein that can inhibit memory and cognition in Alzheimer’s patients, the researchers reported in the journal Molecular Pharmaceutics.”
"Tantra - The Left Hand Path of Love"
"The term Tantra sometimes creates confusion because Tantra has become associated with sex in the West, but a minimal amount of research reveals that not all Tantric traditions include sex in their practices. The branch of Tantra that does use sexual practices for spiritual development is called vama marga or left hand Tantra, due to the fact that women, who are of lunar influence, negative polarity or the left, play an essential role in this science."
In
